22 Foxhole East

tjp70

I’m seconding this. I miss your posts too. Hope all is okay.

f0xh0les

Sorry! ended up doing emergency 'deathwatch' with step-gran.

Got a phone call last Wednesday from one of the granny-!!!!! that she was ill in bed, had fallen, could no longer stand and had a chest infection and was refusing to go to hospital against the wishes of the gp. Jumped on a train, another train, another train, yet one more train, a boat, a coach, a train and a taxi and got to her before 12.00 the following day.

So she needed 24hr watching at home, for a few days it was a bit dicey, but due to my efforts making sure she took her antibiotics religiously on time, 2 nurses a day checking on her, gp home visits, the social worker, a 2 man caring team 4 x a day, and me making 3 lunches until she had eaten at least something, even if it was only 3 spoonfuls, and up to 3 dinners, at varying times of the day and night when she thought she was hungry, she pulled through, and was out of bed on day 9 for 2 hours, and this morning she managed 3 hours out of bed and is back on form. I am knackered though, and she was appallingly badly behaved to her visitors and friends and an absolute cow to me. Honestly, if my kids spoke to a waitress the way she spoke to me, they would not eat out again until they were 18. It was quite easy to see when she began feeling better as she regained her usual stroppy bad tempered nature.

So, hardly any money spent as I was in a field in the middle of nowhere, sat on the lid of a commode, holding an 80 year old's hand for the first 4 days, and being verbally abused for the other 5. Good for the wallet, bad for the soul, but being woken up at 5.30am by the type of screaming only reserved for waking up to find a tiger putting ketchup on your feet, because madam had woken up and was hungry and demanding you make her porridge as she wanted it and she was not going to stop shouting until she got it. We had words after that. She was a little better behaved afterwards and quite shamefaced. She went back to sleep at 6am by which time I was dressed and wide awake and really quite annoyed with her.

Then this morning she asked if I was driving the kids over to see her at Easter - I nearly choked on my own tongue.

Like the carer who said it must have been a nice break for me, to be without the kids for nearly ten days. Really????
Urgh, anyway, normal service will be resumed shortly.

DH managed to lose my spare car key after three school runs. His car battery was flat when he realised he had lost the key, so he had to do a taxi run, and it was chaos.

The kids are very glad to see me back, but the house is a mess and everything is everywhere - the kids all got where they needed to be, they were fed and school uniform done, but that is about it. So I need a little bit of time to bring it all to order - that's what you get when you sit down, a bit smug on a Wednesday morning, thinking 'you know what? I think I am on top of this now'. DH working tomorrow, prospective students' open day, so lots of kids and anxious parents making decisions they are not certain of, who need advice about how this whole 'kid going to uni' thing works.

kerri_gt

Welcome back f0xh0les I was just about to add my name to the list pondering your whereabouts.

Congratulations on not smothering step-gran with a pillow or battering her with the lid of the commode....I'm sure you would have been allowed off by the judge under 'extenuating circumstances' if you had done so.

Either the carer was being sarcastic, or has become entirely desensitised to such antics in his / her line of work (seriously those people must deserve a saint hood sometimes - my grandma was bed bound at 83, on 24hrs oxygen and still I recall (and I was 10) her announcing proudly who was the latest unfortunate she'd managed to 'wipe the floor with')

Good to have you back, we've missed you...possibly even more than your children did

apple_muncher

Glad you are back. Well done on saving step-gran.

Dobbibill

wow f0xh0les you deserve a blooming medal. Why people think it's OK to be so demanding and bad tempered I'll never understand. You did well to be so supportive and get step-gran back on her feet despite all the agro.
Being home with the DSs would have been a walk in the park in comparison.

crazy_cat_lady

I have no idea how you have survived that with your sanity intact f0xh0les - you deserve way more than a medal. Good luck getting everything sorted out at home - it's lovely to see you back.

f0xh0les

Mortgage numbers ......
£98,500.00 balance

£4.31 daily interest

£133.70 monthly interest

£10k off in 13 months!!!!!!!!!
What have I done now???
I applied for a job, as the April thread for Turtles said to do something outside your comfort zone. It is a casual role at the local theatre, they are trying to hire for all sorts, and I thought with all my old bar / concert hall experience why the blimmin 'eck not. I mean I get £35 from the tax credit peoples each week. Apart from that, I don't get 'benefits' as such, so I thought why not. Now I have an interview on Sunday, it can be up to 2 and a half hours long. I suppose it is one way to weed out people who are just applying to keep the JC happy. But I am going anyway. I would only need 5 hours a week to come out better off than I am now, and it will all be added to the old 'let's knock down a wall or two' fund. DS1 is nearly 17 so practically an adult in terms of babysitting, and if it turns into something more structured, come September I will have 3 at Secondary/ College and only one in primary school in yr 5, and the school is on the bus route that goes directly past the end of the road. But we will cross that bridge, should I end up on it. Any job will bring the building works closer and that is what I want.
I have stuck all the kids money into one account, and added a bit more, so it is now up to £6,500 for renovations - they agree that I can borrow their money as long as I put it back £100 a month into their regular savers and they get the £28 interest a year. Not really stealing their dosh, but as I gave it to them in the first place they are happy that I am a good bet to give it back before they are 16.
Step gran is getting up each day, is now using the bathroom rather than the commode in her room, is getting dressed (with help from the carers) each day, and spending 3 or 4 hours up in the living room, mostly dozing in the sun, rather than lying around in her bed in her nightie. So she is getting stronger, but I am still not going over at Easter, but I feel desperately guilty about it and keep finding myself looking at the ferry website, and then saying NO! Stop it!!! DH told his mum I had been over doing death watch and all she asked was whether I had taken the kids with me. She is looking for reasons to be offended, so I dodged a bullet with that one.

I wonder if all this nonsense will go away if I get a job, as suddenly my time will be worth something?
No job yet, so not worth worrying over. I can make this work if I need to.

The house is clean and tidy, food in the pantry and freezer, one and a half weeks until Easter holidays, bank balance healthy and DH is still delighted to have me back.
I need to get 2 kids their passport forms this week and fill them in - hopefully a teacher will provide the necessary authentication, I could not believe it when two refused the last time, and then they can be posted in over the Easter break and I will be sorted again should we need to go anywhere.

greenbee

Well done on the job application! TBH I'm not sure whether the nonsense will stop or whether you'll be seen as selfish for getting a job when you could be running around after relatives. But I'm sure DH and your DSs will appreciate it. The next question is whether you really want the kids' passports renewed

crazy_cat_lady

Good luck with the interview f0xh0les. You'll be amazing - and the childcare will work itself out quite easily I expect.
Guilt is what some people (myself included) do best. You are not to book that ferry - do you hear me?

f0xh0les

I think, when you have been 'groomed' from childhood to take on the responsibility of caring for the older and disabled relatives (because other people did not want the job), that it is very hard to not step back into that role, and to feel guilt for not stepping back in.



I am not going to book that ferry!

I am not going to book that ferry
I don't believe in ferries.