Family will disown us if we get married abroad, thoughts?

catkins

Hutchch0920 wrote: »

Just an update on this, my OH talked to his Mum the other day and explained that he wants to get married abroad and then come back and have a party and she said she would not come (!) She said it's not "traditional" and then started to go on about why are we even wanting to get married in the first place since we're going to end up getting divorced.

The woman beggars belief. I honestly can't fathom how she can talk so highly of family values when she does not practice them herself.

She sounds a lot like OH's mum. She was convinced our marriage wouldn't last because we only knew each other 5 months before marrying and because I am a couple of years older than OH!

This year we have been married 36 years so I wonder what she thinks about her "I'll give it a year if you're lucky" comment

POPPYOSCAR

Both our children have talked about getting married abroad and we would be more than happy for them to do so and will contribute towards the costs.


However, we would not be there because we do not go abroad and have no intention of ever doing so.


They were most put out by this.


So it goes both ways.

jackieblack

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Both our children have talked about getting married abroad and we would be more than happy for them to do so and will contribute towards the costs.


However, we would not be there because we do not go abroad and have no intention of ever doing so.


They were most put out by this.


So it goes both ways.

Yes, it does go both ways.
My mum can't fly any more for health reasons.
I couldn't imagine ever getting (re)married without her there, therefore I would not consider getting (re)married abroad.
(Although it's extremely unlikely I'll ever be getting married again anyway, so it's a bit of a moot point)

pigpen

Hutchch0920 wrote: »

Just an update on this, my OH talked to his Mum the other day and explained that he wants to get married abroad and then come back and have a party and she said she would not come (!) She said it's not "traditional" and then started to go on about why are we even wanting to get married in the first place since we're going to end up getting divorced.

The woman beggars belief. I honestly can't fathom how she can talk so highly of family values when she does not practice them herself.

I'd say fine, one less to cater for..

the 'traditional' marriage ceremony didn't used to be traditional either.

Hutchch0920

pigpen wrote: »

I'd say fine, one less to cater for..

My thoughts exactly :rotfl:

marisco_2

Such a shame that what should be the happiest day of your life could well end up being the catalyst for a lifetime of tedious, very awkward relationships with your OH family.


My advice is travel far and wide. Travel a long way away for your wedding and do it your way. You will regret it forever if you don't.


Then move as far away as it is possible to get from the toxicity that emanates from your future MIL. She sounds like a right pain in the derriere.

Mojisola

Hutchch0920 wrote: »

The other part of me doesn't want to spend lots on a wedding because I don't see it as a good use of money. I think we'd both rather spend an extra £5-10k travelling around the world together than having a big do.

marisco wrote: »

My advice is travel far and wide. Travel a long way away for your wedding and do it your way. You will regret it forever if you don't.

Then move as far away as it is possible to get from the toxicity that emanates from your future MIL. She sounds like a right pain in the derriere.

I second marisco's post.

Stop talking about a wedding.

Save up for a decent traveling experience. Get married somewhere along the way. All done and dusted by the time you get home.

Pollycat

Hutchch0920 wrote: »

My thoughts exactly :rotfl:

What are your partner's thoughts?

What was his response when his Mother said that?

catkins

marisco wrote: »

Such a shame that what should be the happiest day of your life could well end up being the catalyst for a lifetime of tedious, very awkward relationships with your OH family.


My advice is travel far and wide. Travel a long way away for your wedding and do it your way. You will regret it forever if you don't.


Then move as far away as it is possible to get from the toxicity that emanates from your future MIL. She sounds like a right pain in the derriere.

I second the "do it your way" and agree you will regret it if not.

As I said in an earlier post, I regret giving in to OH's mum 36 years on

Hutchch0920

Pollycat wrote: »

What are your partner's thoughts?

What was his response when his Mother said that?

He said well you'll still get an invite but if you don't want go then that's your choice.