Do I hire a private investigator

Mojisola

Feral_Moon wrote: »

But what on earth was his motive?

Excitement. Control. Power.

busiscoming2

Not ideal but could you not circulate some photos of him on Facebook? Someone might recognise him and ask questions. Images/Wanted/Missing posts spread very fast on social media.

Brighton_belle

busiscoming2 wrote: »

Not ideal but could you not circulate some photos of him on Facebook? Someone might recognise him and ask questions. Images/Wanted/Missing posts spread very fast on social media.

I wouldn't and don't respond to any 'wanted/missing' (most especially children) posts on face book - you have now idea why any individual might be in hiding and need not to be found: for all we now there may be a domestic abuse/stalker issue going on. (I'm talking about random - please find this person posts on FB, not refereeing to the OP)

Herzlos

ringo_24601 wrote: »

who buys a car at the NEC car show?

Who travels from Guernsey to Birmingham to buy a car at a car show?
I didn't think you could even buy cars at shows.

Candyapple

Herzlos wrote: »

Who travels from Guernsey to Birmingham to buy a car at a car show?
I didn't think you could even buy cars at shows.

I didn't think so either but then Google revealed that there were numerous car shows on at the NEC e.g Classic Motor Show, Restoration & Classic Car Show where you can buy cars.

OP - When you met him in the bar, did he approach you first or you him? Was he with anyone else at the bar?

I know 51 Facebook friends sounds like a fair amount, however on one episode of the show Catfish, this lady had something like 20 Facebook profiles that she was actively using/pretending to be her friends and would post comments on each other’s pages etc. so she was one person creating multiple personalities/profiles to fool people into thinking these other ‘friends’ knew her to give her back story some legitimacy. She was a mum too and had children so for her to keep up the charade of all those profiles mustn't have been that difficult.

The fact that you say when his Facebook profile was deactivated all of his friends disappeared too, leads me to believe that probably all of his Facebook friends were him/profiles he created to cover his back story.

I agree with Topcat that it was probably him who sent you the flowers when you gave birth.

I can only think that when you caught him at the NEC and you/your family/friends started asking more probing questions he knew it was a matter of time before he was rumbled so decided to bail before you found out the truth. Also probably because he knew once you unravelled his web of lies you would visit his wife/other family and spill the beans, thus he loses everything, opposed to just losing you and your child (kind of like a best of bad situation). Maybe his other wife is rich and that’s how he was able to fund his lifestyle, who knows.

What a sad tale. I hope you manage to find peace OP.

thorsoak

Find out the train timetable to Carlisle - take a photo of him, get on a train, get off at Carlisle, then go into a few of the pubs/coffee shops and ask if anyone recognises him! Cheaper than a private investigator - but what it will achieve, I cannot imagine.

If you find him, and ask him why, he will have hundreds of excuses - sorry - "reasons" as to why he disappeared but they will all be lies.

Best to write him off a "one of those things", and keep some momentos for your child when s/he grows up if s/he wants to try and find him. Best of luck with the rest of your life though x

Mojisola

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I wouldn't and don't respond to any 'wanted/missing' (most especially children) posts on face book - you have now idea why any individual might be in hiding and need not to be found: for all we now there may be a domestic abuse/stalker issue going on.

I don't respond directly to such posts either but, if I saw the partner of a relative or friend being asked about, I wouldn't ignore it.

I've seen news reports of women finding out that their OH had several other relationships on the go through pictures on FB.

Mr_Costcutter

We all know men like this exist - scoundrels, every single one of them.

OP, in your initial post you ask whether it would be worth hiring a private detective because you are keen to track the offending man down. I can't therefore understand why you haven't made comment to the post suggesting you look at the electoral registers. Surely, if you were desperate to find the man, anything is worth a try. The electoral registers would also give the names of other people in the same household. Your chap may of course have used a false name, but nevertheless worth a look. You seem to have dismissed that post, which makes me a little sceptical of the whole situation I'm afraid. I'm certain that if I were wanting to trace someone, I would explore ''every'' possible avenue.

RAS

Before the OP tries the electoral roll, I suggest checking up on that birth certificate he says he ordered.

Anyone can order anyone's certificate here, https://www.gov.uk/order-copy-birth-death-marriage-certificate if that person was born in England or Wales.

It pays to check 5 years before and after the date expected and to look John Peter as well as Peter.

I have proved that someone was not born in the name they were using and hiding their ID; one proved to be a known fraudster, another claimed to have a new ID because of their previous job.

moneyistooshorttomention

There's every chance this guy has given OP a false name. He's told a pack of lies in every other way - so it makes sense to me that he lied about his name too.

I think OP needs to at least try and find out what she can about him - for the sake of her own peace of mind. Even if she keeps coming up against dead-ends, at least she'll know she tried.

....and...yep....I recall a couple of friends of mine that were told rather a "pack of porkies" by the man in their life. Remembering one whose boyfriend had told her that he was doing very well moneywise and had a nice big house etc. Fortunately for her - my boyfriends friends knew who he was/where he lived/etc and I recall going with one of them to his house to try and get back a "loan" he had given him. Turns out he was married/had children/lived in a right grotty Council house (complete with lino on sitting room floor the lot).

My friend soon got told the truth about him by us:cool: