Do I hire a private investigator

duchy

You might Miss Marple but not everyone feels that way ....especially now the OP has some alternative scenarios to consider.

His wallet had no "proper" ID like a driving licence so odds are he was using a fake name anyway.

A man who'd dump his child without a backward glance and leave his longtime partner with broken wedding plans and no way of knowing if he has vanished or is lying dead in a ditch somewhere doesn't deserve the effort anyway.

burnoutbabe

well you could try and find the school he went to and ask if he went there (or find a facebook group for it and ask)
I'd be wanting to track him down for child support reasons. and of course your child when older will have questions.

I assume financially you are not linked, i'd close down any joint accounts asap or any cards he has linked with you.

pimento

I'd want to know so that I didn't have the feeling that he'd got one over on me.

Mojisola

burnoutbabe wrote: »

i'd close down any joint accounts asap or any cards he has linked with you.

And change any passwords and PINs that he might know (or be able to guess).

[Deleted User]

Mojisola wrote: »

And change any passwords and PINs that he might know (or be able to guess).

I'd be tempted to reset/change all your on-line passwords and clamp down on your facebook security

moneyistooshorttomention

Very true to the security protection ideas.

This guy might possibly react rather badly to any suggestion OP is trying to find him if he gets wind of it.

I doubt it would be more than an initial spurt of anger - of the "How dare you try and find me? I'm entitled to vanish" (in his mind only.....but that's beside the point..).

As he's clearly so determined to Go Missing though - I doubt it would be more than that possible initial "Freak Out - she's found me" reaction. Being found might cause him to head off On The Run again...but he's certainly not likely to turn up on OP's doorstep again.

System

1 thing you might want to consider is his accent... You say he is from carlisle and a quick google of carlisle accents say it has a geordie twang to it. Geordie is pretty recognisable and it will confirm if he is from that area

Guest101

I do disagree to some extent. He definitely has the right to vanish (as long as he pays for his child)

Pixie5740

It is very odd. The only reason I would track him down is for child support and to find his real identity should he try and get out of paying by child support by hiding behind another alias. I wouldn't try and get any answers from him about the relationship. He's an expert liar so you may as well save your breath to cool your porridge.

I do think using any photos you might have to search on Google is a good idea. I've used this facility to weed out less than scrupulous buyers and sellers on Gumtree.

I have no idea what a private investigator would be able to do for you. You know nothing about this man. Not his name. No address. Date of birth. Nothing.

moneyistooshorttomention

Any signs of any familiarity with particular churches/religions? That is - even if he never followed them himself.

eg being rather well-informed about Anglican practices and thinking for someone who has never been Anglican to give a personal example (clue to that - one parent who is Anglican).

As we have impression OP is pretty young - then there is a good chance that at least one of this mans parents are still alive. Maybe he made a comment or two about these (supposedly absent) parents that might actually be true and give a clue as to how to find him.