Do I hire a private investigator

LandyAndy

Shelly193 wrote: »

There was a time early on in the relationship where he asked me to renew his car insurance whilst he was away. I tried, but it never worked. He told me afterwards I entered the car registration wrong, but now we believe he did this to make me think he was who he said he was. My brother was always suspicious about the car. It was a top of the range Audi R8 that is according to my brother an expensive car.
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:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: anyone who didn't know it was an expensive car can't have been in much doubt when they saw the renewal premium.

scooby088

Has the OP come back yet, maybe she should hire magnum.

Loz01

Blimey Ive read a few crazy threads in my time but this has gotta be in the top 5! If this isn't a wind up then Im pretty sure he has another family and every detail he told you is a lie - Facebook "friends" were obviously fake accounts and his job was obviously made up, an Audi R8 is a ridiculously priced car so he must have some serious cash from somewhere. Probably a prolific conman!

barbarawright

If this is real, why on earth has the OP joined a messageboard to ask whether to hire a detective rather than consulting her family (which we know she has) and friends? They must know the situation so it's not like she needs the anonymity.

I'd be amazed if we hear from her again which is a shame because it's an incredible story

Topcat1982

fairy_lights wrote: »

It's all of his friends vanishing off facebook that doesn't make any sense to me - He might have blocked her himself, maybe even persuaded his best friend to block her too, but his whole friends list? :eek:

Have none of you seen the show Catfish. They create fake accounts that they can add as "friends".

OP, did you ever meet a real life friend of this man?

Shelly193

Please excuse me for taking so long to come back to this. I work shifts in a call centre, and I don't finish until after ten.

There is so much for me to reply to. Firstly, you must understand when I wrote the first page, that is a taste of how manic my thoughts are at the moment. The original question was going to be about selling the ring to pay for the private investigator.
About the car insurance, I tried, but I was unable to complete it because the details I entered about the car never matched. I do say in the first page, he said I entered the registration wrong. I know nothing about cars. Last December I passed my test, and I have been driving since January. The car looked nice. It never gave me the impression that he was just going to up and leave me one day.

The NEC part needs more explaining. My sister was working there as a steward when she saw him. After giving birth, I put on a bit of weight that I have not been able to lose. I have stretch marks as well that don't help make my insecurities any better. Not long before catching him at the NEC, I had become very insecure about my appearance. There was a time when he was away in Guernsey, I tried to get in contact with him. I never heard back from him for two days, and I raised my concerns with my sister thinking he was cheating.
When she spotted him, I was going to the NEC thinking I would catch him with someone else, because he was supposed to be in Guernsey.

He has fooled everyone. It is easy to sit there and say we must have noticed his lies, but it was not like that. He was so convincing. Everyone who knew us can't make sense of this. What type of man can abandon his son without a care in the world? This is why I think he has another family, who he loves more than us.

Shelly193

When I met him in the bar, he was in Brum installing masts. We swapped numbers, and whilst he was away on his next job we would call and text eachother daily. I did get to know him. I liked him. He was sweet, funny, good looking and in general just a nice guy.
We added eachother on facebook. He is from Carlisle, the amount of friends he had was 51. A lot of the friends all went to the school he said he did. The main friends who I got to know, only through facebook were nice. When I gave birth, one of his main friends who was in my friends on facebook sent us a card and some flowers.

I never met them in person because Carlisle is so far away. He told me he has a flat in Carlisle, but because of work taking him all over the country he mainly hauls up in hotels. When the relationship started becoming serious, when he had finished a job he would come see me. Every time he was dropped off at mine in a white van with all his work equipment.
He rented out a garage from a neighbour to store his car. My house became his home. When we talked about his up-bringing with his foster family, it was clear how hard his life was growing up. He said he was always an outcast, and could not wait to leave. When I gave birth he was away in Scotland. He drove through the night to be with us.

He did everything for us. In a way he was the ideal man. My parents adored him, all my friends liked him and in a way with us he had the family he never had when he was growing up. The proposal was the cherry on the cake. He even took the courtesy to ask dad before he proposed to me.
We had the wedding planning in progress. Everything was good until the Guernsey trip when I found out he was lying. It was not long after finding him at the NEC when he vanished.

When I say all his friends disappeared as well, they literally did. The main friends whom he worked with were always active when he was away. After he left they all left. We have tried searching for them, but those profiles are gone. I can't bring myself to think that it was him using those profiles to sell me his lies.
The company he said he worked for was liquidated over two years ago, just to add insult to injury.

Topcat1982

Shelly193 wrote: »

The main friends who I got to know, only through facebook were nice. When I gave birth, one of his main friends who was in my friends on facebook sent us a card and some flowers.


The company he said he worked for was liquidated over two years ago, just to add insult to injury.

Sorry to say it but he sent you the flowers.

Feral_Moon

But what on earth was his motive?

barbarawright

Birmingham to Carlisle is three hours by train. Did you really not think it odd that none of his friends came to stay for the weekend or he didn't ask you to stay in his flat?