Boyfriend disclosed he visited a prostitute in India one year before we got together

DUTR

whitewing wrote: »

Firstly, he didn't tell you before he slept with you.

Secondly, I can't stand the way that men in general talk about prostitutes in general.

Thirdly, I don't know anyone that would not hit the roof if their daughter became a prostitute.

But sex for me requires an emotional connection; I know it can be different for men (and some women).

Firstly I doubt it was unprotected, but likewise if the BF had been out with the local easy person before he got with the OP.
Secondly it's not just men that talk badly about sex workers.
Thirdly there are sex workers that have been to public school and from established middle calls backgrounds.

Sex with an emotional connection will always win out irrespective of gender.

TBeckett100

Public school middle class sex workers charge more than £1.

DUTR

TBeckett100 wrote: »

Public school middle class sex workers charge more than £1.

I'm guessing though the OP is on about the principle rather than the price?

TBeckett100

I think the price is the moral dilemma. Has boyfriend been taking advantage of the disadvantaged...

mum2one

Its a difficult one to judge, it is different if your in the situation, on one hand the op wasn't involved with him then, so on that judgment it could be said it shouldn't matter.

A lot happens abroad that people wouldnt normally do when there at home, so if it was a one off then I would let sleeping dogs lie....

As for the money the economy is different in India, its a place that does attract sex tourists same as Thialand, and as for the money - I would assume that would be the general rate.

The concern I would have is whether he was careful, whether he has had any check ups since he got back. if not i would suggest a check up or 2...

I would discuss it with him, if it was me I would accept it as a one off, but its something you need to decide whether you can live with it xx

DUTR

TBeckett100 wrote: »

I think the price is the moral dilemma. Has boyfriend been taking advantage of the disadvantaged...

That is the case anywhere at any level though, over here often it is someone from a disadvantaged background with perhaps some kind of addiction to feed. Some are from abuse , in the war days I understand some done it to make ends meet (think it was called a monkey run) they say it's the oldest profession.
At the 'high end' I don't think it's any different, the clients are unlikely to be a low paid worker.

TBeckett100

The problem for the OP is she won't be able to look it in the eye again knowing where it's been.

DUTR

TBeckett100 wrote: »

The problem for the OP is she won't be able to look it in the eye again knowing where it's been.

The OP wouldn't anyway, and after all it is his body to do as he wishes. I guess some things would be better left unsaid.

Gavin83

poppy_f1 wrote: »

theres plenty of men out there who prob wouldnt have mentioned it

I'm surprised he told her too, I'd imagine the vast majority of men who had slept with a prostitute would never tell a future girlfriend. The whole thinking of 'the past is not the business of a new partner' springs to mind here, the same reason most won't discuss previous sexual partners.

DUTR wrote: »

Nope, but there was an old saying that blokes are in a relationship for sex and women have sex for a relationship.

I do wonder how the dynamics of relationships would change if sex didn't exist. I'd imagine that quite a few men wouldn't bother.

patanne

Well ignoring the moral and financial aspects of this, which have been moderately covered. What do you think is going to happen if you get - say flu badly - and you are laid up for a couple of weeks feeling really grotty and certainly not able to provide his "needs" for a while. Yes he will find somebody at the going rate, so how would you feel about that.

Actually when you said how he had told you I thought it was an attempt to manipulate you into something. I really do hope I was wrong. Are you sure this is a healthy relationship for you?