Boyfriend disclosed he visited a prostitute in India one year before we got together

patanne

It is not about the cheating it is about the state of mind which leads to it. The lack of empathy that they have in a relationship. That is why I said the bit about apologising, it is all about the mindset. If he is capable of apologising then I do not believe that the rest of what I said applies.

It is part of the "I only did it cos you made me" attitude used by physically abusive men, except they do not use physical or even mental abuse. But it is interesting how many of their women become alcoholics.

dandelionclock30

I think its sounds like he has a low regard for women really to have sex with one for a quid. I've known friends who have worked as prostitutes and they dont really do it out of choice they do it because they are trapped in that lifestyle for whatever reason. They dont like the men they have to sleep with.
For me it would be that he took advantage of a vulnerable person and theres no question of that. She could have been trafficked ,beaten up by pimps, made to live as a sex slave etc. All sorts really. Whatever, its not an empowered choice she made.
He didnt care about these issues he just thought about having a XXXX.Thats what I wouldnt like.
I think that he wont have a high regard of you either if he can treat others like that.His essence isnt very good.
At the end of the day he exploited someone when he had choices and she didnt.

marleyboy

Anything my Wife did prior to me meeting her is really none of my business, that includes the men she may or may not have slept with, the guy she had a crush on at school or whether or not she practised safe sex.

I would like to think the same applies vice versa, I used to steal sweets when I was younger, that does not mean I cannot be trusted as a result.

When we met, we fell in love with the people we were at the time, not what we did before we even knew each other existed.

Were my Oh even slightly perturbed about what I got upto before we even met one another, it would be a case of separation and divorce, where she could spend the rest of her life concerning herself with who else I choose to meet from that moment on.

History is dead, what you do in the present determines what you will be in the future.

Should I find out my wife was a prostitute in her youth, am I to then think of her no longer as the love of my life, but as Ms Yo-Yo Knickers and dump her as a result?

Gloomendoom

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

. Whatever, its not an empowered choice she made.

How on earth can you possibly know that?

It might be true, then it might not.

PeacefulWaters

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

I think its sounds like he has a low regard for women really to have sex with one for a quid.

Maybe he had a low regard for himself. The sentence you've typed suggest paying £500 to a high class hooker would be ok. Dangerous distinction to make.

For me it would be that he took advantage of a vulnerable person and theres no question of that.

Major leap of faith there.

She could have been trafficked ,beaten up by pimps, made to live as a sex slave etc. All sorts really. Whatever, its not an empowered choice she made.

And there.

He didnt care about these issues he just thought about having a XXXX.Thats what I wouldnt like.

One night stand with a bunny boiler could be the same I suppose.

I think that he wont have a high regard of you either if he can treat others like that.His essence isnt very good.
At the end of the day he exploited someone when he had choices and she didnt.

Would she have earned the same that day without his custom? Or would she have been worse off? I can't paint him as her charitable saviour, but you've jumped to a hell of a lot of assumptions in your post.

purpleshoes_2

Confused5 wrote: »

I'm not a new user, I'm anonymous to avoid everyone knowing my boyfriend slept with a prostitute.

How long have you known?

Confused5

purpleshoes wrote: »

How long have you known?

I've known for nearly 3 weeks. My boyfriend said he hasn't told anyone else about it.

dandelionclock30

So what are you going to do OP?

Confused5

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

So what are you going to do OP?

I need time to adjust. I don't know if I can get over this, but I need more time. I've been really moody since and I my boyfriend says he feels really judged that he finds it difficult to show emotion over it all.

robotrobo

Confused5 wrote: »

I need time to adjust. I don't know if I can get over this, but I need more time. I've been really moody since and I my boyfriend says he feels really judged that he finds it difficult to show emotion over it all.

is it double bubble on xmas day?.:)