My OH is in hospital in intensive care

mum2one

victory wrote: »

Yes it has been all about OH every day for the last month and a half plus, we just need for it to settle a bit more so that we can start I don't know looking at fun, or booking a holiday or just having a laugh, that seems a bit thin on the ground at the present.

It will be for a lot longer, hopefully when he hospital side gets sorted, that may well get replaced by hospital appointments , but hopefully you can start planning the future, even its baby steps such as a coffee, a holiday in the future.

I miss even coming on here, having a bit of banter, used to enjoy that but now these days do not even find the time to do anything like coming on here or anything t hat is just a bit of fun, if it is not meds, it is trying to get him settled in bed where it doesn't hurt so very much where he can lay, to docs, to hospital to well everything but that is the way it is, OH will progress eventually just takes time.

I know when we were doing the drive to Wales, it seemed a lifetime away, it was up, breakfast, hospital, home, washing, food somewhere along the way, bed and days off were shopping, sleeping, washing, arranging everything. Even when dad was home what we thought would be a great relief, like you say you swop one set for another set of plans, - just a thought re the docs, hospital appointments, what we do is use the hospital transport, its free to use, they pick you in a variety of cars, mini buses, ambulances, can be haphazard, but there used for patients who can't use standard transport - something simple like being dropped off at the unit rather than going to the car park etc, the patient can have someone with them as a carer. There was one week when dad had 5 different appointments and it was a life saver.

I have a bit of guilt regarding that because other than the absolute immediate family and what does need to be done I overlook and found out later that one of my friends spent xmas day and boxing day home alone, if I had known I would have asked her round and another whose OH is a self employed builder his boss ran off with 3 months worth of wages worth that he owed him so they are really struggling, never knew that until yesterday.

You shouldnt have gilt, you have been through a rollercoaster of a time, true friends understand

It has made some of my friends have an outpour of emotion though which was a bit of a surprise, one that lives abroad wrote me a letter expressing how very much she thought of me and if she lived closer what she would do to help and that she has always valued me as a friend and how it could have been her OH and how desperately sorry she was, that was a very big lovely surprise.

Sometimes its the people that you dont expect are the ones that come through with the true care feelings, frineds of mine that live an hr from us, offered to come and pick mum up and drive her to the hospital so I could have a days rest, while mum asked her brother o take her to the local hospital, he told her to catch a bus....

You have been through hell and back, you've had your world turned upside down, yet youve been the linchpin that has held everything together.

Please try to get some time for yourself, even if its just going for a walk round the block, going for a swim, a coffee - you need that time,

i noticed in another post yo mention that oh has lost 19kg, I'm useless in new weight, dad lost 4 stone in 4 weeks, he looked like he had been in a concentration camp, (he went from 10 stone to stone), during the time he has put the weight back on, we got him back to 10 stone, infact he still putting on weight, he's up to 11 stone, the weight goes back on once your on a better diet.


Is there any more news on the inlaws yet. xx

victory

mum2one wrote: »

Sometimes its the people that you dont expect are the ones that come through with the true care feelings, frineds of mine that live an hr from us, offered to come and pick mum up and drive her to the hospital so I could have a days rest, while mum asked her brother o take her to the local hospital, he told her to catch a bus....

You have been through hell and back, you've had your world turned upside down, yet youve been the linchpin that has held everything together.

Please try to get some time for yourself, even if its just going for a walk round the block, going for a swim, a coffee - you need that time,

i noticed in another post yo mention that oh has lost 19kg, I'm useless in new weight, dad lost 4 stone in 4 weeks, he looked like he had been in a concentration camp, (he went from 10 stone to stone), during the time he has put the weight back on, we got him back to 10 stone, infact he still putting on weight, he's up to 11 stone, the weight goes back on once your on a better diet.


Is there any more news on the inlaws yet. xx

Thank you, you may think that all you have done is post in a thread on the internet but to me it is so much more to know that someone has been through the same and understands what I am saying, it is a blessing , I read your post and kept nodding, the comment on the concentration camp (weight loss) yep, nod nod, I think 19 k is 40 odd lb, the days worth of 'care' the days gets swallowed up one day after a week into each other, never knew about hospital transport so thank you for that, in a week or two he will start up the 'check ups' and then it will get even busier...

The inlaws ring all the time, they are going to not come as yet because OH does not feel up to visitors, sleeps a lot, is on a lot of meds that make him emotional, he is not himself and wants to be left alone rather than have to concern himself with having visitors.

I have had the same as you with some people that have behaved very distant, least expected and as I said the friend's letter, nought such strange as folk!:)

I went out this afternoon, it was all set to go and then OH seemed to be in extra pain ( I am thinking on reflection it was his anxiety or nerves being left alone, well not alone but without me or the meds making him unsure of himself as that is not my OH ) so I delayed it but then went but from that had so much guilt and really could not settle into it so it ended up as a bit pointless of having the time to unwind, be out, not have to think of OH and his needs for a short while , maybe next time won't be so emotionally filled.

victory

Mojisola wrote: »

Does his boss realise just how seriously your OH was injured?

Realistically, isn't it going to be months rather than weeks before he can think about work?

I don't like to guess because that is all it would be without having any kind of medical background but I would guess april may time, his boss is thinking more february time. There is a long way to go yet that is for sure, his boss knows that but in a company, having an empty position they cannot fill must be work wise difficult for them?

victory

meritaten wrote: »

Victory -
People tend to think that once a person comes home from hospital then they are 'OK'. They aren't. most recuperation now is at home and that can take time, a LOT of time. so the carers are run ragged taking the place of what would have been a team of healthcare professionals!
be gentle with yourself too Vic. look after yourself!

That is true, lots of people think ok, panic over, OH is not in CCU anymore so all is good, he is home so that is that, we will carry on with out lives and that is that but as you say there is a lot of work going on here to get him back to anything like he was before the accident and there is a whole long road to go yet. People do offer this and that and are aware that he is not at all 'recovered' but they do trail off...

OH is trying very hard to be the model patient and is very accepting of the fact that he cannot do anywhere near as much as he did do and needs help, meds,docs,tests, time, patience and he is focusing on the end goal which is back to health, full strength, I watch him for moods, depression, he knows I am watching and looking out for him, together we are just trying to get by the best we can, it must be tremendously frustrating for him and I understand that, we just have to try the best we can.

busiscoming2

Thank you Victory for finding the time to come on here and update us all. Been thinking of you and often check the thread.

Glad you had one night's sleep and that DH is doing ok. Can't imagine how draining it all is. Look after yourself. x

Mojisola

victory wrote: »

I don't like to guess because that is all it would be without having any kind of medical background but I would guess april may time, his boss is thinking more february time. There is a long way to go yet that is for sure, his boss knows that but in a company, having an empty position they cannot fill must be work wise difficult for them?

But if the firm know that he's not going to be back in a week or two, they can get a temp in.

victory

Mojisola wrote: »

But if the firm know that he's not going to be back in a week or two, they can get a temp in.

Just asked OH your question and he said 'yep,suppose so' he is obviously not as bothered as his boss seems to be:rotfl::rotfl:

thanks busiscoming2 just a bit;)

Mojisola

victory wrote: »

Just asked OH your question and he said 'yep,suppose so' he is obviously not as bothered as his boss seems to be:rotfl::rotfl:

It's not very fair on his boss to leave him thinking that your OH will be back at work soon.

Your OH will need some goodwill when he is ready to start back at work so be fair with the boss now.

victory

Mojisola wrote: »

It's not very fair on his boss to leave him thinking that your OH will be back at work soon.

Your OH will need some goodwill when he is ready to start back at work so be fair with the boss now.

Maybe in previous replies I should have used the word was 'hoping' the boss was hoping that OH will be back sooner rather than later, OH work is mounting up he said, as in just a few weeks but the boss does know that OH will not be back in feb, he knows all his injuries and medical needs now, I was just saying previously just in my opinion I felt it would be more like april or may time or when the docs deem him fit for work which is not now, his boss is aware of that and maybe just rang for good will or as per company policy, his boss knows that OH cannot return sooner,:)

RuthnJasper

victory wrote: »

Thank you for all your PM's very much appreciated as always:D I will try to come back more often, each day seems to roll into each other and have no time other than for OH:)

Cherrypip, absolutely NO need to come here every day; we all understand that the pressures on your time are many and varied at the moment. The occasional update is good to read, but it is you and yours who MUST come first.

Keep going Victory; you're doing great and are an amazing woman. An example to us all. Even if you feel like sh*t more often than not just now. You can do this sweetie.

R & G xx