My OH is in hospital in intensive care

RuthnJasper

victory wrote: »

OH looked at me yesterday and said to me 'I'm not well, am I?' bless him no but he will be soon xx

I know that smiles are thin on the ground, but this did make me smile a tiny little bit...

I might be ticked-off for posting this - but Mr. Victory's sheepish query seems like a small hobble along the right path...

Firstly, he was up, thinking for himself and capable of independent speech; Secondly, he recognised by himself that he is unwell. Thirdly - and most importantly - he KNEW that he could turn to Victory, his love and his wife, and make this humbling remark. In the full knowledge that she would not laugh at, belittle, or be anything less than honest with him.

As previously mentioned, now that the lump has been found it can be properly treated, and hopefully further reports of pain might be given more credence now that Mr. V.'s complaints have been proven to be grounded.

Also agree that the in-laws can wait - unless they can stay in a local hotel/B&B and out of Victory's hair.

Keep going Victory. You and your family can and will get through this. xx

mum2one

Please use this time to rest and recoup ur batteries, as others have said take up the offers of help, get a coffee with friends, have a long soak in the bath.

i can see where the inlaws are coming from, but to have them back, i think it will too emotionally draining for you.

I'm glad that others have wrote what I thought, that DH was discharged too soon, a blues and two is serious, it just seems like oh its christmas we might need the beds for the xmas drunks, the fights etc so clear anyone out, in theory he should have gone down the route of being sent to ward, then all the assesments done before he came home.

In time you may want to make a complaint, - it doesnt have to be straight away, but it is worth considering, even if it is juat to get some answers xx

torbrex

I'm hoping that you have had a restful week victory and OH has improved during his stay on the wards.
I was really wondering if they had managed to get his eating problems solved as that is one of the most important things on his road to recovery.

sassyblue

Victory, I hardly pop by here these days so your thread has been such a shock, I'm so pleased your hubby has pulled through enough to come home and start on his road to recovery, you've been a rock to your family and OH by the sounds of it. Glad too that they have found a reason why hubby wasn't progressing quicker, I hope they can sort that out quickly so he can really improve.

I won't clog up your thread but will read, you are all in my thoughts and prayers. Maybe when the in-laws come back they could give you a few hours respite? xx

meritaten

Victory - hope OH is improving daily and you are getting over the shock. and realising just how strong a person you are. because you have coped admirably! nobody could have done more.
I too think that later you may question OHs discharge directly from ICU to home. That shocked me - normally they downgrade to another ward before discharge. but, that is for the future. for now, be kind to yourself. YOU are the lynchpin holding the family together and it can take a toll. make sure you eat, sleep and have some 'me-time'. its not a luxury, its a necessity if you are to have the strength to get through the 'recuperation' time your OH needs.

Lunar_Eclipse

Very sorry to hear what you are going through Mr & Mrs Victory and best wishes to both of you.

Having gone through 'learning to walk again' myself (though with much less trauma than Mr V), I would like to suggest breaking down the goal of walking 25 steps, if standing is a similar struggle to recent experience. Perhaps standing is the goal for a few days, with increased time. Then, just one step the first time. It can be built up, though the 'professionals' will urge you to push yourself. It will be uncomfortable, but you can do it. All the best to you, take care.

victory

Good afternoon:) OH has been in and out of the hospital, his blockage cleared, I slept for 11 hours straight:) he has lost 19 kg in weight, his knee bones can be seen:eek:, he sleeps a lot still, moves about not too much, we have all the aids, all the medical help, he has lots of broken/fractured bones/torn ligaments to heal.

OH now has a bladder infection and blood in his wee. More medication.

His boss rang him to see if he was coming back, what the care package plan for his return would be, he said he would ring again next week, we are at just over a month and a half now so not too much progress but not too little, just seems one thing after another, if he recovers from blockage he gets bladder, if he gets bladder he gets blood, if he gets blood etc etc.

In laws never came.

victory

spirit wrote: »

It must be quite traumatic for him, for you too actually. One minute you are going about your daily life, probably making plans for the Christmas holidays etc and then suddenly, wham!

This must take its toll on you both mentally and physically. Reading through your later posts, It is evident that you are much stronger now that when it all initially happened. :T

I agree though that you need to take respite time whilst he's being looked after in your local hospital. Even if it's meeting up with friends for coffee. It must seem like you have lived and breathed all things OH/accident related for weeks (naturally) and time talking and thinking about something else for a while will be good for you.

Take care

Yes it has been all about OH every day for the last month and a half plus, we just need for it to settle a bit more so that we can start I don't know looking at fun, or booking a holiday or just having a laugh, that seems a bit thin on the ground at the present.

I miss even coming on here, having a bit of banter, used to enjoy that but now these days do not even find the time to do anything like coming on here or anything t hat is just a bit of fun, if it is not meds, it is trying to get him settled in bed where it doesn't hurt so very much where he can lay, to docs, to hospital to well everything but that is the way it is, OH will progress eventually just takes time.

I have a bit of guilt regarding that because other than the absolute immediate family and what does need to be done I overlook and found out later that one of my friends spent xmas day and boxing day home alone, if I had known I would have asked her round and another whose OH is a self employed builder his boss ran off with 3 months worth of wages worth that he owed him so they are really struggling, never knew that until yesterday.

It has made some of my friends have an outpour of emotion though which was a bit of a surprise, one that lives abroad wrote me a letter expressing how very much she thought of me and if she lived closer what she would do to help and that she has always valued me as a friend and how it could have been her OH and how desperately sorry she was, that was a very big lovely surprise.

harrys_nan

oh dear, it's one thing after the other isnt it? Keep your chin up victory it will all come together soon and he will be on the mend.
Why does his boss seem so keen to have him back to work, does he realise just what Mr v has been through?

victory

patchwork_cat wrote: »

I have to agree with Gwynlas and thought maybe I had misunderstood. One minute he is so ill he is in ICU then they bring him home on blues and two emergency in an ambulance! ( How was it an emergency bringing him home) it beggars belief. I felt sure that I had misunderstood as this is just so ridiculous and one has to wonder with the lack of discharge papers too what on earth was going on.


I really feel that this is a serious case for a complaint, because this could have had a very nasty outcome and with another individual treated the same way it might. If this is them following procedure then their procedures need changing and if not then for the sake of the next patient you need to complain.

You never misunderstood that he was brought back in an ambulance, not at all, what you did misundertand is that there were a lack of discharge papers, they came along with OH in the ambulance, where they weren't we faxed through to here, OH local doctor so when I rang his doctors because the CCU was out of county and the CCU had not forwarded the discharge papers to him he knew nothing about it. That was easily solved when eldest was sent up to the doctor with OH discharge papers and had the info he then needed to take over.

When OH returned apart from the above misunderstanding/lack of communication he seemed to be in a lot of pain and not right, the doc came to the house and saw him, changed the meds, because of xmas it was much more difficult to get anyone to come to the house etc but once all that was sorted out, his meds were changed and altered in dosage, some more some less some gone and then he developed an intestinal blockage, that was not the fault of the CCU, unless a CT scan was done it would have not been able to be discovered, as the doc says pain is via a proces of elimination and listening to the patient what the symptons were, so that is not a case for lack of care.