My OH is in hospital in intensive care

victory

I'm just sitting here not being able to do anything, I should be pro-active, thinking of things, they cut his clothes so take clothes in this afternoon?, he has internal bleeding and broken bones, car crash, what will he need, a toothbrush, he's on a cathater, wired up, monitored, had blood transfusions on oxygen, there must be something I should be doing,he's on morphin, drips, his parents coming later, everything has gone a bit mad, lots of letting people know, phone calls, consultants, we are not allowed back into intensive care until 2pm have not slept, don't know what to do.

[Deleted User]

Hi,

I am so sorry to hear.

Pick the phone up and call a friend. Do it now, wake them up if need be. Ask them to help. They can sort clothes, toothbrush etc. do not try and do this yourself. Get them to phone around, feed the dog, collect items whatever needs doing. Phone someone who can do this without being too over emotional. You need comforting at the moment, but also someone who can just get on with things in the background.

The very best of wishes,
Spider.

Mrshaworth2b

I hope your oh is ok victory, it's great that you want to be helpful but having been there myself with my mum, just get your head around it first. There will be plenty of time for the practical stuff. Now you need to take time to just be present and focus on getting through what lies ahead. I'm very sorry your in this position and I hope the best for your oh. X

gb61

My heart goes out to you, and I know you feel you should be doing something , your head must be all over the place, but give yourself a few hours and things will become a bit clearer as with what you need to take in,who to contact etc, and as you think of them put them ready, at this time in the morning theres seems to be no.one to talk to, but theres always someone on the forum. good luck. x bb

victory

I jsut don't know what to do, not coping, turned to mush, one son hysterical like I have never seen, nose bleeds, the other asleep, his parents are travelling down now, they are in their 80's and have to travel 300 miles, we are not allowed in until 2pm, they said we could ring at 9am but the consultant would not have seen him by then, I really am not a practical person, I am useless, all I do is cry

k66yla

Hope you are ok.....I've been through this and you feel helpless. I carried on with work and normal day to day things which seemed a bit surreal until visiting time. There is nothing you can do for him at the moment apart from sit with him and talk to him.

GwylimT

I was in a very similar situation a few years ago so I know how you feel, but you'll get through it.

Firstly you aren't much use tired, go back to bed and try to sleep, if you don't sleep get a lift to the hospital, please do not drive. Before you go tomorrow make yourself have a good meal even if you don't feel hungry.

Depending on his needs he will need different things, the ward will be happy for you to call them for advice.

Is he conscious? If so accidents can be very confusion and can sometimes lead to temporary aggression/nastiness, try not to take it personally if this happens.

Unless he is mobile he is better off in hospital gowns rather than pjs, take him plenty of socks to keep his feet warm. If he is mobile pjs, slippers and a dressing gown if he has one. He is allowed a razor and the nurses will be happy to shave him wet or dry if he isn't upto it, they can also help him brush his teeth.

If he isn't keen on water take him in a bottle of squash.
If he is concious take him things to do, books, newspaper etc, carry on including him in daily events eg discussing xmas presents to buy people etc, do not dwell on how he is feeling etc. You being/appearing positive will help him a lot right now, the better you appear to feel the better he will feel.

The focus is on him getting better, so you need to put a brave face on in front of him so he knows you are managing at home etc. When you are struggling or feeling down do not sit at home, find someone to go for a coffee with or just to have a gossip.

Have you called your employer yet, they will need to know approximately when you will be back at work.

victory

He is so drugged up and has so many wires all around him it is impossible to talk to him, I hope he knew I was there and his boys, I told him I love him, every two seconds another nurse or doctor needs to get close to him to adjust the drips or do an ecg or take him for an x-ray or stop the machines from bleeping

victory

GwylimT wrote: »

I was in a very similar situation a few years ago so I know how you feel, but you'll get through it.

Firstly you aren't much use tired, go back to bed and try to sleep, if you don't sleep get a lift to the hospital, please do not drive. Before you go tomorrow make yourself have a good meal even if you don't feel hungry.

Depending on his needs he will need different things, the ward will be happy for you to call them for advice.

Is he conscious? If so accidents can be very confusion and can sometimes lead to temporary aggression/nastiness, try not to take it personally if this happens.

Unless he is mobile he is better off in hospital gowns rather than pjs, take him plenty of socks to keep his feet warm. If he is mobile pjs, slippers and a dressing gown if he has one. He is allowed a razor and the nurses will be happy to shave him wet or dry if he isn't upto it, they can also help him brush his teeth.

If he isn't keen on water take him in a bottle of squash.
If he is concious take him things to do, books, newspaper etc, carry on including him in daily events eg discussing xmas presents to buy people etc, do not dwell on how he is feeling etc. You being/appearing positive will help him a lot right now, the better you appear to feel the better he will feel.

The focus is on him getting better, so you need to put a brave face on in front of him so he knows you are managing at home etc. When you are struggling or feeling down do not sit at home, find someone to go for a coffee with or just to have a gossip.

Have you called your employer yet, they will need to know approximately when you will be back at work.

Oh yes of course his pjs he likes his pjs should have thought of that, I will take them , his mum and dad are travelling down right now, we are allowed in at 2pm,no not called his employer my son can do that on monday they work near each other, how do I keep my youngest calm? I have never seen him in such a state, everyone around me has gone hysterical and now his parents are coming

victory

I feel like I am letting him down, that if it was reversed he would know exactly what to do, my youngest i asleep now but he had nose bleeds and was screaming hysterical saw his dad all tubed up and lost it, he had to be taken out of the intensive care trauma ward, eldest has his girlfriend

k66yla

victory wrote: »

He is so drugged up and has so many wires all around him it is impossible to talk to him, I hope he knew I was there and his boys, I told him I love him, every two seconds another nurse or doctor needs to get close to him to adjust the drips or do an ecg or take him for an x-ray or stop the machines from bleeping

Please talk to him, he'll know you are there. I knew my dad could hear me as his pulse seemed to change when I spoke to him. It is good that he has constant monitoring. CCU's normally have 1 nurse per patient, so he is in the best hands.