What would you contribute?

caeler

victory wrote: »

it does seem odd apart from someone else sAid she maybe staging an engagement party? Never thought of that.

I might be wrong! Maybe another tact would be to encourage her to speak to OH and if he's in agreement with this big expensive gathering then you'll consider an appropriate contribution. I appreciate it won't be a surprise but this all seems a bit odd without his consent!

I've had mates move away for work loads and we'd all just meet up in a favourite pub and drink the night away, no expense or requests for a contribution from family.

There must be more to this? I hope you find out what it is!

Lunar_Eclipse

Another approach is to tell her you "don't have room for such contingencies in your budget. So unless it's something official like an engagement party, you don't have spare money to contribute."

This has to be the truth though. You shouldn't tell someone you can't afford something if you clearly can, which is why I mentioned something to keep the peace earlier, like £50. That buys nothing though.

victory

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Is it easier to offer her something to keep the peace? £50? Seems a bit weird though ...

I don't want to do it without my OH it seems crazy to me also, we've all been invited, her elders also so it's not as if I can say what's it got to do with me?

victory

michelle2008 wrote: »

These are kids - it sounds like this girl has got a bit carried away. It is a strange idea - no-one I knew at uni ever did anything like this.

I could understand her asking you to help if it was his birthday but its not.

Are you even invited. Has she asked her parents to stomp up?

Like others have said tell her you think she has been too ambitious and her plans have got out of hand. Explain you don't really understand the purpose of the party and you are either only willing to do X or you don't think it is appropriate to contribute.

Yes all elders are going no idea about her parents contributing, yes she has got carried away maybe because her mates have all chipped in with ideas?

*max*

She's not pregnant, is she? There has to be more to this...It just seems so incredibly over-the-top and downright cheeky!

balletshoes

victory wrote: »

I have tried to not come across as mummy and I know best, you need to cut your cloth etc etc but I seem to be battling against someone who can't hear me, she keeps texting for an answer,
I'm guessing to see how much money she has to play with?

not enough by the sounds of it, but she hasn't figured that out yet .

michelle2008

Fingers crossed it won't be an engagement party - this little lady sounds like she would be a challenging daughter in law!!

victory

Amanda65 wrote: »

Victory how much money can you afford to throw at a party that seems to be for no reason? How would your son react if this was a surprise engagement / proposal?

I think if you feel you would like to contribute, and can afford to that's fine, and if it was a birthday I think it would be the right thing to do, but just on a whim because she fancies a 'do' I think is a bit of a cheek! How old are they?

You see the thing is until the texts I was completely unaware I was e pelted to find some money to fund a party that is at best unnecessary and at most gone OTT? 19

victory

michelle2008 wrote: »

Fingers crossed it won't be an engagement party - this little lady sounds like she would be a challenging daughter in law!!

Up front;)..........

victory

balletshoes wrote: »

not enough by the sounds of it, but she hasn't figured that out yet .

She has that's where I come in;)