What would you contribute?

victory

Got a very long text from eldest GF, she wants to organise a dinner/ party with 50 odd of his friends plus her family who know my son, all a surprise because they've been together for a number of years.

All great, completely understand, she wants to take over a restaurant ( each pays their own set meal dinner no probs there) then onto a hired hall with dj, fancy dresss, no decoration, food included, just a bar, people buy their own drinks.

All good.

The text asks me for a contribution for the hall, could I buy the fancy dress in secret so as to not alert son to the surprise party and asking for hall decorations contributions.

What shall I contribute? A percentage of the hall hire? Buy the fancy dress? Get some table decorations?

I have asked her and she said whatever , none of this is any of my idea and I knew nothing until the text.

thoughts please.?

Artytarty

Is it yours sons girlfriend who is organising this?

Artytarty

I would offer a fixed amount, whatever you feel ok with then she can put it towards the overall expense.

victory

Artytarty wrote: »

Is it yours sons girlfriend who is organising this?

Yes and no, one of the texts says she is overwhelmed and can't organise it all herself and another one says she is asking my sons friends to help and another says her nan is looking to see if she can help with the decorations.

victory

Artytarty wrote: »

I would offer a fixed amount, whatever you feel ok with then she can put it towards the overall expense.

Hum unexpected expenditure for me then:D

Artytarty

Afraid so! You wouldn't fell good about just saying no, would you?
Or you could offer to pay for their meal?

CH27

What exactly is the party celebrating?

victory

CH27 wrote: »

What exactly is the party celebrating?

Love I think:rotfl:being together she wants to show him off:rotfl::D

michelle2008

The rule of etiquette is the host of a party should pay. If she is inviting people to a party she should not expect them to pay for their food.

If she cannot afford to throw this party, she should be encouraged to amend her plans to something within her means - a buffet in a hired hall perhaps.

You could offer to bring some dishes - however this is a party to celebrate her relationship with your son. It is not your responsibility to finance any of it - particularly as you don't even know if your son wants the party.

Lunar_Eclipse

Hmm, my personal view is that the celebration sounds a little excessive. I would have thought the dinner or the party would be better, especially since it sounds as if she can't afford both by asking for financial contributions.

I honestly don't know what I would do in this situation, except that I would ideally want to discuss it face to face. If this isn't possible, a telephone conversation would have to do.

Ultimately, there is no right or wrong here, so it depends on what you can afford and whether you're happy to contribute. I would not be sending such messages/requests to either my parents or my inlaws though! If she wants to do these things, why doesn't she just pay for it? If she can't afford it, then I suggest she rethinks the plans.

caeler

Pick up the phone and discuss it. Only then will you find out what is going on, what she needs and how much of a contribution she is expecting.

Is this a surprise birthday party? A big birthday? I find it strange that anybody would start arranging such a big event without thinking how they would fund it!

EDIT: Just seen your comment about 'a party to celebrate their love'. Sounds very odd to me, unless it is a surprise engagement party!?