What would you contribute?

victory

claire16c wrote: »

This seems a bit odd to have such a massive party when it's not his birthday? Hiring a hall and everything? Can't they just go to the restaurant and then go to a bar in fancy dress? Or are they under age.

I'd say you'll help out with the fancy dress & leave it at that.

I'd be really embarrassed if someone threw me a party for no occasion!

I don't think there's anything wrong with people paying for their own meal that's usual at stuff like birthdays in restaurants.

But seems like she's going ott. I'd say ill help with the outfit & when it's his birthday ill help with something more special then.

I keep repeating the above in various ways to her but she is stuck on the meal which is fine set price everyone pays their own drinks separate, all good , it does seem odd apart from someone else sAid she maybe staging an engagement party? Never thought of that.

She wants me to source the fancy dress ( yes son loves fancy dress) because the theme is fancy dress but son can't know because this is a surprise party

Lunar_Eclipse

victory wrote: »

She's at uni so can't face to face, texting like a teenager possessed to me today, I'm getting the impression I am being counter acted at every suggestion, idea etc i know that's what I can't get past, why ask me?:eek:

Which definitely makes me think she should scale back the plans for financial reasons. How do you feel about suggesting it? Perhaps replying along the lines of 'that all sounds lovely, but is it affordable? Have you considered the meal or the party? If I'm being overly concerned about your student finances then I apologise. Let me know if I can help with anything specific, but of course I'll sort out my fancy dress costume in secret. Let me know the date for my diary when you have it.'

*max*

It's not even his birthday, or to celebrate a particular achievement of his?? Whatever happened to a nice meal out just the two of them if she wants to "celebrate their love"? I can't believe she's throwing him a huge party for no reason AND is asking you to contribute! How bizarre!

Lunar_Eclipse

victory wrote: »

she says well no, what I thought was, well I know son loves x venue, x club if I combine the 2 it will be a night to remember etc

Well I think I would put the ball back in her court and text something like 'I'll let you get on with it as I'm finding it hard to keep up. When you've found something perfect that matches your budget, let me know so I can save the date and sort my costume out'... Hopefully she will read that as non committal along the financial lines.

victory

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Which definitely makes me think she should scale back the plans for financial reasons. How do you feel about suggesting it? Perhaps replying along the lines of 'that all sounds lovely, but is it affordable? Have you considered the meal or the party? If I'm being overly concerned about your student finances then I apologise. Let me know if I can help with anything specific, but of course I'll sort out my fancy dress costume in secret. Let me know the date for my diary when you have it.'

I have tried to not come across as mummy and I know best, you need to cut your cloth etc etc but I seem to be battling against someone who can't hear me, she keeps texting for an answer, I'm guessing to see how much money she has to play with?

victory

*max* wrote: »

It's not even his birthday, or to celebrate a particular achievement of his?? Whatever happened to a nice meal out just the two of them if she wants to "celebrate their love"? I can't believe she's throwing him a huge party for no reason AND is asking you to contribute! How bizarre!

Hum she says 2 mates are leaving town, she doesn't get to see son as much as she'd like, it will be her birthday soon after, not on the date but soon after and she wants a big thing

Lunar_Eclipse

victory wrote: »

I have tried to not come across as mummy and I know best, you need to cut your cloth etc etc but I seem to be battling against someone who can't hear me, she keeps texting for an answer, I'm guessing to see how much money she has to play with?

Is it easier to offer her something to keep the peace? £50? Seems a bit weird though ...

michelle2008

These are kids - it sounds like this girl has got a bit carried away. It is a strange idea - no-one I knew at uni ever did anything like this.

I could understand her asking you to help if it was his birthday but its not.

Are you even invited. Has she asked her parents to stomp up?

Like others have said tell her you think she has been too ambitious and her plans have got out of hand. Explain you don't really understand the purpose of the party and you are either only willing to do X or you don't think it is appropriate to contribute.

Amanda65

Victory how much money can you afford to throw at a party that seems to be for no reason? How would your son react if this was a surprise engagement / proposal?

I think if you feel you would like to contribute, and can afford to that's fine, and if it was a birthday I think it would be the right thing to do, but just on a whim because she fancies a 'do' I think is a bit of a cheek! How old are they?

victory

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Well I think I would put the ball back in her court and text something like 'I'll let you get on with it as I'm finding it hard to keep up. When you've found something perfect that matches your budget, let me know so I can save the date and sort my costume out'... Hopefully she will read that as non committal along the financial lines.

Yep done that I can't keep up:rotfl::rotfl: