Should I tell her to back off?

Pollycat

nodiscount wrote: »

So, should I text this girl and tell her to back off?

Why would you even think of telling her to back off?

I agree with Mimi:

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

Your viewing at as the girl is the problem, she isn't - its your OH. He should be telling her to get lost because he is with you.

You need to talk this through with your OH and get him to back off and stop texting this woman.

I think it's absolutely appalling behaviour on his part to have told this woman about something you did 6 years ago.

You need to view him as the problem here, he's the one with a partner.
Nobody is forcing him to return her texts.

Look closer to home if you want to blame someone for this situation.

Metranil_Vavin

I also think these things start happening as a means of escapism. You use your ipad and he is texting someone else.

I doubt very much it has anything to do with what happened six years ago.

duchy

It isn't a case of blaming anyone -It's a situation that can get out of hand.

My ex had a girl at work who followed him like a puppy- she insisted she didn't fancy him -but would find excuses to be working late with him, ask him to help her with stuff (like moving her dead granny's piano) . I warned my ex she had a crush on him - He laughed his head off -but stopped laughing when he got so drunk at a conference he ended up in bed with her - I couldn't believe he had been so stupid and threw him out ..... he was so convinced all she wanted was friendship that he really didn't see it coming..... Some women really are that perverse and determined and most men don't realize it (not making excuses for my ex -he was a grown up and should have known better than to risk his marriage and family)

Mojisola

nodiscount wrote: »

He also told her about a problem we had earlier in our marriage - 6 years ago - when a colleague of mine fell in love with me. Nothing happened but I hurt my husband a lot by ringing this guy and spending time with him

duchy wrote: »

It isn't a case of blaming anyone -It's a situation that can get out of hand.

My ex had a girl at work who followed him like a puppy- she insisted she didn't fancy him -but would find excuses to be working late with him, ask him to help her with stuff (like moving her dead granny's piano) . I warned my ex she had a crush on him - He laughed his head off -but stopped laughing when he got so drunk at a conference he ended up in bed with her - I couldn't believe he had been so stupid and threw him out ..... he was so convinced all she wanted was friendship that he really didn't see it coming..... Some women really are that perverse and determined and most men don't realize it (not making excuses for my ex -he was a grown up and should have known better than to risk his marriage and family)

It's not just women - obviously the guy who fell in love with nodiscount was persistent. Her OH took her back after that.

This sounds like a relationship in trouble and I hope they can get help and work out whether it's best to stay together or go their own way.

victory

The two things I don't understand are why you feel the need to be alone with your ipad as soon as you get in and do not want to interact with your OH more?

And where does your OH find the time to send 1,000 texts?:eek:

nodiscount

victory wrote: »

The two things I don't understand are why you feel the need to be alone with your ipad as soon as you get in and do not want to interact with your OH more?

And where does your OH find the time to send 1,000 texts?:eek:

I need the time to recharge...I have depression.

flutterby_lil

nodiscount wrote: »

He said it will stop. He said he has phoned her today to tell her this.

I don't know if I can trust him now though

He trusted you again!!

flutterby_lil

victory wrote: »

The two things I don't understand are why you feel the need to be alone with your ipad as soon as you get in and do not want to interact with your OH more?

And where does your OH find the time to send 1,000 texts?:eek:

He is probably in the other room bored whilst his wife plays on the iPad.

Doesn't make it right but i can't help but feel you have pushed him into the situation through lack of attention to him.

dizzyg_2

nodiscount wrote: »

I need the time to recharge...I have depression.

Is your depression being managed?

nodiscount

duchy wrote: »

It isn't a case of blaming anyone -It's a situation that can get out of hand.

My ex had a girl at work who followed him like a puppy- she insisted she didn't fancy him -but would find excuses to be working late with him, ask him to help her with stuff (like moving her dead granny's piano) . I warned my ex she had a crush on him - He laughed his head off -but stopped laughing when he got so drunk at a conference he ended up in bed with her - I couldn't believe he had been so stupid and threw him out ..... he was so convinced all she wanted was friendship that he really didn't see it coming..... Some women really are that perverse and determined and most men don't realize it (not making excuses for my ex -he was a grown up and should have known better than to risk his marriage and family)

This is what I worry about. As humans we all have our weak points. If this woman is persistent then I do need to tell her to back off.

How many people have been in a situation where a persistent colleague has tried to get close and they were told to back off. It's not that easy.