Need help with saying no to someone while not falling out

skintchick

victory wrote: »

You know skintchick I have really enjoyed your thread, all the way through it has been excellent to see everyone's various ideas on what best to do and it has been a great read, so much so that today on the way back from the my tests I went into the church chapel to say a prayer, so thank you very much:D

That's made me smile and cry at the same time!!

So glad it has been helpful. I don't know what tests you have had (I don;t read many threads on here, mostly TTC) but I hope you found some peace and that you get the best results on your tests.

xx

Somerset

skintchick wrote: »

Yes we have a leadership and overall ethos of "these are your annointed leaders, they are in charge, do what they say" but I can't agree that that is applicable in all circumstances regardless. Because then there is no way of disagreeing - you are just charged with being unBiblical or not listening to leadership, and they have carte blanche to ignore you.

How do you even begin to have conversations in those circumstances?

skintchick, apologies for going off-track but I am curious.

If you accept the ethos you described above, that essentially the church 'leadership' should be obeyed, why are you not obeying ? I appreciate Donna and husband may not be leadership but if they were .............

You mentioned earlier that you could see how this could be seen as 'cultish' but .............. It is cultist IF the member's accept that position, that the leadership are always correct in their decisions and those decisions must be obeyed.

Your dilemma specifically, is that you do not accept that stance. You, quite reasonably, expect that personal circumstances, individual 'callings' etc should play a part in those decision's. You expect negotiation and reasonableness. I genuinely don't understand how you can expect those things given the autocratic structure you describe.

This isn't intended as a 'dig' at you or your church. Also I appreciate Donna may not be 'leadership' but for the sake of argument, if she were.

victory

skintchick wrote: »

That's made me smile and cry at the same time!!

So glad it has been helpful. I don't know what tests you have had (I don;t read many threads on here, mostly TTC) but I hope you found some peace and that you get the best results on your tests.

xx

THank you, yes it has been helpful, I did find peace thanks

embob74

skintchick wrote: »

What I decided to do was talk in confidence to a good Christian friend, who I trust to tell it like it is, both spiritually and otherwise, and to share with her what God showed me when I prayed, which I won't go into here.
She agrees I am not called to childcare, and that the creche should not be run just by parents, but by people called to it. She herself is on the rota for older children as she is called to it despite her children being grown up.
I am worried about a meeeting with my pastor as after discussion with my husband we have decided that if I am told I have to do it just because I have to, regardless of what God is saying to me, then we as a family will have no option but to leave the church and find somewhere that does listen to God.
I don;t want to leave as I've been there longer than the pastor has, 15 years now, but I have to maintain my spiritual integrity.
I have approached it prayerfully with an open mind (to God, because He is my authority) and believe strongly that He does not wish me to do the creche. I feel no conviction in my heart from Him over my decision and I believe it to be right.
So now I have to trust Him in this and pray for Donna and Fred, as well as for new people to step forward for the rota.
I have chosen to pray blessings on Donna for all her hard work on the rota, and am continuing to try and find peace over what has become an unpleasant and upsetting conversation (with Donna, not on here!).:A

I think I am going to find that I am no longer "called" to cleaning toilets or emptying the bins....and I can see that no amount of praying will make that go down well with the other people who have to pick up the slack.
I'm sorry OP as I am no doubt offending you but the constant excuse of feeling a calling and that you determine God's purpose for you is just too much.
In any organisation there are always jobs which are menial or not particularly exciting, likewise there are jobs that are in the spotlight or which command respect.......I feel you are cherry picking what you want to do and masking it under the guise of "God's calling"
I am a believer but I could never imagine that I would become God's messenger. I don't hear God's message, I merely try to follow a path which I believe is good, whatever my personal motivations.

lostinrates

I appreciate and to accept what people are saying about the childcare and mundanity.

I have no kids, but this afternoon spent time looking after my friends little boy, whoch I love doing, while she did something menial for my business. It was an exchange of benefits and services and I do not feel either of us were taken advantage of.

Sambucus_Nigra

I'm genuinely intrigued as to who is going to win this pray off. Surely as Donna is married to someone higher up the ranks, then her praying for you and her vision of you in the role of Creche meister trumps your praying and seeing yourself not in the role of creche meister?

Or do the 2 prayings cancel themselves out? Whose vision is right?

Somerset

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Or do the 2 prayings cancel themselves out? Whose vision is right?

Do you think God could be schizophrenic ?

Sambucus_Nigra

Somerset wrote: »

Do you think God could be schizophrenic ?

Possibly. Or perhaps...no - that doesn't bear thinking about.

skintchick

I don't believe she has prayed about it. And that is backed up by the word I had yesterday and what my friend has also received from God.

Cherry_Bomb

skintchick wrote: »

Actually, it was pointed out to me by a nurse yesterday that I am unfit! That hadn't occurred to me beecause I wasn;t looking for short-term excuses not to do creche, I was viewing it overall in terms of callings (which is the most relevant framework within which to view it despite some people's opinions to the contrary).

But as I cannot walk far or fast and am not quick enough to stop a child getting hurt (my own DD crossed the road without me today because she ran ahead and I can't walk, let alone run) then I am not currently

:A

I'm amazed you're still going down the calling route when all you have to say is the above.

How can Donna possibly say anything? Well I prayed last night and god told me to put your name down for the crèche. Bullsh!t did he Donna!
You've got a perfectly valid reason here.

Tell them you're not well. End of discussion!