Need help with saying no to someone while not falling out

lostinrates

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I'm genuinely interested in how 2 people who are supposedly being guided by the same 'God' are coming to completely different conclusions. Surely if it's God's will that Skinty doesn't do the creche, then Donna will know this during her sessions with him. If he does want Skinty to do it, then he would let her know during their time together.

It's a conundrum to be sure.

But surely it's just the same argument as why religious groups who pray to a loving god (though may be a different one, or one interpreted differently) go to war when the 'books' each reads tell us the 'one' god they believe exists (even if he is not the same) loves people etc.

Honestly, with no disrespect to those involved, though I used to pray a lot I have never heard agon tell me anything,(I have found answers provided by myself thanks to the time reflecting on what is the 'right' outcome and while I am happy to accept its because of a fault of mine (I am not sure if I were a deity I would be that bothered with the minor greviences in my little life) I just look at the precident for interpretation disagreements and think while I can see someone would find great resolve from their prayer, that it's unlikely to be the word of Any God, merely their interpretation or the hope that it's the word of god. However, I respect that it is a fundamental difference that many here and I would have to agree to disagree on and hopefully respectfully and with no I'll will. None is intended.

Sambucus_Nigra

lostinrates wrote: »

But surely it's just the same argument as why religious groups who pray to a loving god (though may be a different one, or one interpreted differently) go to war when the 'books' each reads tell us the 'one' god they believe exists (even if he is not the same) loves people etc.

Honestly, with no disrespect to those involved, though I used to pray a lot I have never heard agon tell me anything,(I have found answers provided by myself thanks to the time reflecting on what is the 'right' outcome and while I am happy to accept its because of a fault of mine (I am not sure if I were a deity I would be that bothered with the minor greviences in my little life) I just look at the precident for interpretation disagreements and think while I can see someone would find great resolve from their prayer, that it's unlikely to be the word of Any God, merely their interpretation or the hope that it's the word of god. However, I respect that it is a fundamental difference that many here and I would have to agree to disagree on and hopefully respectfully and with no I'll will. None is intended.

I can understand why opposing religions don't come to the same conclusion; but this is the same church! So if someone higher up the food chain says 'do what you feel is right' then why is Skinty still not able to tell Donna to [ahem] foxtrot oscar?

happy2share

first up what is the point of the creche if its the parents sitting in it with their kids - isn't the idea that they are freed up to worship? sounds more like a toddler group to me otherwise they may as well all stay home and sit with their kids. so get a granny to to do it, advertise in the church notices then ask the less obvious people. second up where is the minister in all this? s/he will know who needs a quiet role in the church. I assume there is always at least one helper who is CRB checked and the rest have done the foundation safeguarding training. 3. why don't you take on the rota! and if there is no one for the creche any day just say so and the kids can stay in church. 4. it's not about what anyone else is doing its about what's right for you - look at your skills and ask where they can be best used, look at your needs and see how they can be best addressed - it could be you need to know your child is safe, if see above. talk to your minister/pastor about this s/he needs to know how you and probably others feel. and 5. top of the list is pray about it, just give the situation to God and see what happens! ask Him where he wants you to be in the church and pray for Donna too - she is seriously struggling here! XX

Errata

I've read the thread and have no advice to give the OP. I do however have observations
The church appears to have no leadership, merely a dictatorship
The OP wants to do what they want to do, not what needs to be done
Sometimes 'god' appreciates a sacrifice with the needs of others taking precedence over one's own needs
The OP and her OH seem to have many roles within the church sewn up in a way that satisfies them - how about giving the rest of the congregation a chance?

Torry_Quine

poet123 wrote: »

You can/would do it privately of course, but to use it as a "cloak" for what is essentially an exercise in free will; a choice to do or not to do creche duty (this isn't world peace we are discussing) is silly. It does not need to be mentioned as the reason. No one can know what God says to others or if they have prayed about xyz, yet Skintchick appears to believe she does.

I think that her prayer is in private though. This isn't an exercise in free will necessarily though. I think she believes what He is saying to her and therefore how that impacts on the creche rota. Now she could be wrong but each of us can only be guided by what we discern as coming from God.

poet123

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I think that her prayer is in private though. This isn't an exercise in free will necessarily though. I think she believes what He is saying to her and therefore how that impacts on the creche rota. Now she could be wrong but each of us can only be guided by what we discern as coming from God.

You miss my point. If you pray about something such as this then you should be confident enough in your own decisions not to have to pass it off as "God's Will". Especially when the other party can/will do the same. God gave us free will, it is too convenient to say he backs us up when we choose not to do something that others believe it is our duty to do. I just find it a bit distasteful.

Errata

God's word is especially useful when it confirms what one wants to do anyway.

Sambucus_Nigra

Errata wrote: »

God's word is especially useful when it confirms what one wants to do anyway.

It would seem to be that God's word seems to agree with whoever is the one on the receiving end. Who'd a thought?

nickyhutch

I've always wondered why God lets things like the Boxing Day Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, the American school shootings and the like happen if he is an all-loving God..... I know why, now - he's taken his eye off the ball because he's too busy talking to people about trivialities like flipping creche rotas.

Torry_Quine

poet123 wrote: »

You miss my point. If you pray about something such as this then you should be confident enough in your own decisions not to have to pass it off as "God's Will". Especially when the other party can/will do the same. God gave us free will, it is too convenient to say he backs us up when we choose not to do something that others believe it is our duty to do. I just find it a bit distasteful.

It is your decision only as far as you are doing God's will or not. I would hope that even if she doesn't herself feel that creche duty is for her whe would do it were it to become clear that it was God's will.

In my experience God's will often means that I do things which I would never have personally chosen to do.