Need help with saying no to someone while not falling out

Savvy_Sue

Actually I think there were some parents who thought we'd be a positive liability anywhere near other people's children ... and I knew a couple who definitely were! It meant we weren't asked to help out unless absolutely necessary, which suited me fine.

lostinrates

Not read through all the pages and usual anti-god clique,

.

While I find a lot of the snide posts about religion( though I have made it clear I am no longer 'religious' ) uncomfortable I find this at least as bad. After all, non believers are just...non believers, but the Christian education I have held love thy neighbour and turn the other cheek ( which we were taught was very different to being put upon) very dearly. I think most of the 'believers' posts have been pretty respectful ( as have Most people) but I just found this particularly sad amoung those that had been less.....openmindedly, from whichever perspective.

poet123

I don't think this thread has had m(any) anti God comments. In fact I found it a refreshing change from the norm, most threads with a religious aspect do bring out those who have an anti agenda.

lostinrates

poet123 wrote: »

I don't think this thread has had m(any) anti God comments. In fact I found it a refreshing change from the norm, most threads with a religious aspect do bring out those who have an anti agenda.

I think in the main It has been dignified, and natural and indeed, interesting. I think it's fair to sy there have been some less dignified responses and I think the majority have put the puerility of those into perspective.

I think credit should be given o those of whatever opinion who can repond candidly remembering, as you rightly say this sort of thread can bring out 'those with an anti agenda' like wasps to honey!

Sambucus_Nigra

lostinrates wrote: »

I think in the main It has been dignified, and natural and indeed, interesting. I think it's fair to sy there have been some less dignified responses and I think the majority have put the puerility of those into perspective.

I think credit should be given o those of whatever opinion who can repond candidly remembering, as you rightly say this sort of thread can bring out 'those with an anti agenda' like wasps to honey!

Which responses do you consider to be 'less than dignified/puerile' responses?

I'd love to know how you decided what is and isn't dignified please.

lostinrates

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Which responses do you consider to be 'less than dignified/puerile' responses?

I'd love to know how you decided what is and isn't dignified please.

Nope, I am not going to go done that line, I would think that to be fairly counter productive, especially when the main point is how restrained most people are being!

Sambucus_Nigra

lostinrates wrote: »

Nope, I am not going to go done that line, I would think that to be fairly counter productive, especially when the main point is how restrained most people are being!

Down that line?

Interesting turn of events, this thread has taken.

delain

I wasn't going to post but I think SC is right not to do creche. I'm not religious really (although my children do attend Christian organisations which means the occasional church attendance is inevitable) not only because of her religious commitments, but because of what her DH does with the older ones, Skintchick's family is already doing their duty in regards to the children and the commitments made by everyone to the children in baptism ceremonies (sorry if ive got confused but I'm sure Fred and donna brought that up) as AFAIK there is no rule saying both parents must work with children.

jellyhead

poet123 wrote: »

The crux of the matter for me is whether all the parents do take a turn on the rota, if they do then imo, regardless of whatever else she does the OP should too. If they don't then she should not feel obligated to do so.

If all parents take a turn, including all of the men, then she should probably take a turn if she is well enough. If it's just the women taking turns, and a few men if they particularly want to, then her husband is taking her turn.

I think if I really didn't want to do it and it was only until September when my child went into the other group that my husband would drop the other group until September and take my turn in the creche, or at least mention that as a possible solution so that the Pastor can think it over and decide where SC's husband is more valuable.

If I were SC I think I'd mention how tired I am and how I am still not fit to be a childcarer. I'd mention details that they might not know about, seeing as I hadn't seen them during my illness - imply that if they'd helped me out while I was housebound they'd have more of an understanding about why I wasn't yet well enough to take on creche duty.

Actually that's not true - that's what I'd like to do but in reality I am a doormat, and would do as I was told until September, and then probably be railroaded into carrying on with it long after my own child had left

SC how did it go today?

delain

That was very honest jellyhead :rotfl: