meeting husbands female friend!

gelato_cat

I think that's all very nice in theory, but if you've been with someone for a while and they've never done anything like flirt with others, wouldn't it be fair to think that that's not a part of your relationship or their personality? So when they start doing it a natural thought would be that the boundary has been crossed. People generally don't like any break from normality.

Remember, the boundary is not going to be the same for every relationship, so the point at which it is crossed depends on the parties involved, not some theory that men and women should be trusted to be left to get on with it.

Suze

Labman wrote:

Yes, there may be a history & there is perhaps a chance something may be going on...but if there's doubt give your partner the trust & love they deserve....a friend is a friend....male or female.

I know I'm lucky, but I do believe there are partners (male or female) who think the worst with no real reason & maybe they need to stop & think (& perhaps TRUST)...before 'going off on one'.

b33r

zoeleigh wrote: »

I spoke to my OH about this this morning, his immediate response was 'he's probably sha@ging her then'.

He also said he thinks it's totally inappropriate to invite a woman from work on her own.

I have learnt that mens minds are very different to womens (basing this on men I know), for example, when a woman says she thinks a bloke is nice looking but she doesn't fancy him, it means she thinks a bloke is nice looking but she doesn't fancy him!

When a bloke says he thinks a woman is nice looking it means he fancies her!

This information I got from a bloke so I asked others who said that is how they think too.

Not very representative sample I'm not like that and I don't think it makes me any less of a man, so please add a strike to the other column

SoozieSoo

burnoutbabe wrote: »

I do actually pick mates who would put foot down if told by their wife who they can and can;t be friends with. wouldn't be the type of person i'd have much in common with anyway.

What, you could not respect a man who puts his wives feelings before his mates? Sounds like the perfect husband to me.

As for "putting their foot down". This isn't the 1950's.

sticher

b33r - I do agree that not all men are like that, I just think alot are. If a man is truly happy in his relationship then I agree he would not look elsewhere.

I do still think though that if a woman showed herself to be attracted and available to a man, he would be tempted.

My Ex has a female friend - known her since school - but he had a relationship before we met and he rarely sees her (less than once a year). The only friends of mine he ever really spoke to were the ones he found attractive. I honestly do not know any men who have female friends without there being any attraction on the mans side.

SoozieSoo

burnoutbabe wrote: »

why would they marry me, we're mates

.

Hopefully your best mate ever is the person you marry. Friendship is the basis for most solid marriages I have found.

I couldn't imagine not being married to a mate!!

SoozieSoo

sticher wrote: »

b33r - I do agree that not all men are like that, I just think alot are. If a man is truly happy in his relationship then I agree he would not look elsewhere.

I do still think though that if a woman showed herself to be attracted and available to a man, he would be tempted.

My Ex has a female friend - known her since school - but he had a relationship before we met and he rarely sees her (less than once a year). I honestly do not know any men who have female friends without there being any attraction on the mans side.

Me neither. I must live on a different planet to some of the people on here!

burnoutbabe

SoozieSoo wrote: »

What, you could not respect a man who puts his wives feelings before his mates? Sounds like the perfect husband to me.

As for "putting their foot down". This isn't the 1950's.

well as long as your happy thats the type of man you want, then fair enough. I want one thats loyal to his mates and doesn't drop them as soon as a female comes on the scene.

as i said before, i hope you don't find all doors closed to you socially if your husband was not around due to other women's fear of you as a single person, out to steal their husband.

Babysoft

Any updates on this cos I dunno about you lot but my suspenders are killing ME!

victory

Babysoft wrote: »

Any updates on this cos I dunno about you lot but my suspenders are killing ME!

I was just thinking that, so what did happen at the BBQ?:j

SoozieSoo

burnoutbabe wrote: »

well as long as your happy thats the type of man you want, then fair enough. I want one thats loyal to his mates and doesn't drop them as soon as a female comes on the scene.
.

We are not talking about "a female", but someones wife. Loyalty to your wife should come before all else. Also I wouldn't be attracted to the type of man who has female friends. As I said before it is usually a certain "type".

burnoutbabe wrote: »

as i said before, i hope you don't find all doors closed to you socially if your husband was not around due to other women's fear of you as a single person, out to steal their husband.

I don't get your point. I am just as likely to steal someones husband if I am married. Married women have affairs with other peoples husbands too. If I am not a threat now I won't be if I am ever single again. Besides I usually see my friends alone, without their husbands.