Is my OH stupid or am I mean ???

vickynleon

i also think it was a kind thing to do but at the end of the day you've got a family that you need to pay for so personally i wouldnt be impressed, i very much doubt the same would of happened if someone else had won. it to hard a country to think of other people, times are hard and you only need to think of your own family, so i don't think your being to hard on him.

mishkanorman

shellsuit wrote: »

So they don't even have anywhere to house the thing?

I don't know what else to say, apart from if it were my husband, I'd ask him to tell her we're keeping the machine after all to fund some items for OUR baby, which is more important than anyone elses.

If that makes me a mean old miser, I couldn't give a fig

What makes it difficult is they dont know we are expecting, we dont want people to know till we've had the all clear from the scan which wont be for another couple of weeks - so he cant even go back and tell them that !! Not that he would because that would involve him actually being wrong about something

shellsuit

mishkanorman wrote: »

What makes it difficult is they dont know we are expecting, we dont want people to know till we've had the all clear from the scan which wont be for another couple of weeks - so he cant even go back and tell them that !! Not that he would because that would involve him actually being wrong about something

Ahh, I see!

I'd kick him up the backside and tell him to get his priorities straight then

sassyblue

mishkanorman wrote: »

He may well have 'done a nice thing' but it was at our expense, I know my OH and know he wont be putting his hand in his pocket when our little one comes along - it will be the same as it was with our 2 children that everything will be purchased as cheaply as possible (usually 2nd hand from eBay) . I dont think its unreasonable that I am mad he squandered the chance for that to change.

In this case, l'd be furious. Whatever happened you're a partnership and he should have asked you first.

As for the bit about him not putting his hand in his pocket, there's no way l'd be beholden to a man who l was having a baby with.... surely all money coming in is both of yours? I look for the best deals with everything and l don't mind buying off ebay - but surely not for everything?? :cool:

Svenena

A couple of people have questioned how the young couple could have been managing without a washing machine, so to enlighten you: those of us without washing machines make use of a facility known as a laundrette But I can definitely see why this would be a major inconvenience once there is a little pooing machine on the scene.

I think JoJo The Tightfisted summed things up wonderfully on the previous page. Personally I would have been annoyed to begin with, but then realised that I hadn't lost anything as such, as I was no worse off than to begin with, and would then be able to recognise it as a lovely gesture and get over my annoyance.

HOWEVER OP, you've explained why you feel as you do, and I do sympathise with you and understand why you feel differently. As other people have said, perhaps your OH doesn't realise just how you're feeling about things at the moment, because you've been putting on a brave face? And all the hormones and grief you're currently experiencing are making what might seem like a small issue to others seem much bigger to you, and also just one example of similar behaviours (like not treating you to a special anniversary treat). If you can show that you need looking after, and some nice gestures, perhaps he'll shower them on you! Well, if he's really a nice person (and from the washing machine gesture, it sounds like he is), he will. Probably just a bit thoughtless, as many people are. I do hope you manage to sort things out and feel happier. Talking to your OH is obviously the way forward, but he probably thinks you're overreacting about a washing machine at the moment, and doesn't realise how you're generally feeling, so maybe try not to dwell on this one thing too much.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, and I hope further down the line you can look back and not feel so bad over all this.

nanto3girls

After reading this thread last night,i asked hubby if he thought i would be annoyed, if he had done this.His reply, no you wouldn't have been annoyed,you would have been b****y furious.He is right.

C_Mababejive

Get that washer and get it flogged to raise money for your own family.

scotty1971

how would your hubby react if it was you that gave the washer away?

aliasojo

nanto3girls wrote: »

After reading this thread last night,i asked hubby if he thought i would be annoyed, if he had done this.His reply, no you wouldn't have been annoyed,you would have been b****y furious.He is right.

I asked mine too. He said 'I like my ***** where they are thanks'. :rotfl:

Which roughly translated means, 'I'm not stupid, I know you and the kids come before anyone else'. Which is good because he obviously learned from the car seat thing.

Seriously though, he thought it was a bit daft basically giving away money that could have got the pushchair for the baby. Although he did say if we didn't need anything then he would've suggested to me we give it to whoever. The 'we' is because we are a partnership and this is a reasonably large 'thing' that could affect both of us (with regards to what could happen to it .... being sold etc), so is best decided by both parties.

victory

I agree I asked my OH last night also he said that he would have asked me first and if we did not need it he would have given it to someone who did but also he did say that if we needed the money he would have 'sold it for a lesser price' to the girl and then everyone had benefited from it, the money being put to our family use but then he also said it is a lot to do with karma!

Do something good for others and it will come back to me, his story is that he helped someone out, they refused money for it and the very next day he broke down and needed help and the exact same thing happened to him so yes karma and a sense of having helped someone out.

I gave all my baby clothes away and 7 years later needed to start all over again, a lovely lady that had black bags full of baby clothes asked me to come by her house and there in her living room were bags and bags of clothes and she just said 'help yourself' I WAS so so grateful and when I had finished with them I passed them down to a lady who had twins and was struggling....it all works out in the end:D