Is my OH stupid or am I mean ???

pendulum

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

My original post was not to you - it was to the OP. Thanks for your input anyway.

I never suggested your original post was aimed at me. This is a forum where anyone can comment on any post by anyone else - I don't think you understand that at the moment.

sassyblue

CH27 wrote: »

Why do so many threads have to descend to bickering?

Agree. I'm getting fed up with this forum. When l joined it was a nice place, now it's full of the same sanctimonious posters trying to put people down for having a different opinion.

If you haven't got anything positive to add, best to keep your fingers off the keyboard imo.

CH27

sassyblue wrote: »

Agree. I'm getting fed up with this forum. When l joined it was a nice place, now it's full of the same sanctimonious posters trying to put people down for having a different opinion.

If you haven't got anything positive to add, best to keep your fingers off the keyboard imo.

I've only been here 12 months but the tone of this subforum has definately changed for the worse.

Sambucus_Nigra

sassyblue wrote: »

Agree. I'm getting fed up with this forum. When l joined it was a nice place, now it's full of the same sanctimonious posters trying to put people down for having a different opinion.

If you haven't got anything positive to add, best to keep your fingers off the keyboard imo.

So are you saying that only people with positive posts to add are allowed on here? What if [for example] someone comes on here [as often happens] asking how they need to change to stop their OH hitting them, and we are negative telling them that they need to change their OH rather than change themselves to stop the abuse?

Who decides what is positive and what is negative? If it's you - can you post a checklist please. Thanks.

If everyone only agreed with everyone else, nothing would ever get resolved. I may not agree with any person who disagrees with me - but it's our right to do so not your right to tell us we aren't allowed to have differing opinions.

londonsurrey

It's a nice gesture on his part, on par with winning a three figure sum in a raffle, then buying rounds for the pub. A rather large amount to be giving away. He might understand a bit better if you'd won some prime football tickets or a driving experience at Brand's Hatch (depending on his interests), and gave it away to the neighbour's teenage son, without consulting him.

mishkanorman

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

So are you saying that only people with positive posts to add are allowed on here? What if [for example] someone comes on here [as often happens] asking how they need to change to stop their OH hitting them, and we are negative telling them that they need to change their OH rather than change themselves to stop the abuse?

Who decides what is positive and what is negative? If it's you - can you post a checklist please. Thanks.

If everyone only agreed with everyone else, nothing would ever get resolved. I may not agree with any person who disagrees with me - but it's our right to do so not your right to tell us we aren't allowed to have differing opinions.

I dont think the differing opinions are such a big deal its the peppering of insults that go with them, why do people feel the need to get so personal when responding ?

Being called a "bitter, twisted harpy" is disgusting language for anyone to use, yet 5 people thought it acceptable enough to thank !

I only started this thread for a rant, its a relevant topic for the site too. I dont begrude anyone who thinks he was right and I wrong, just those that have to throw all kinds of digs at us as people ! (its not nice reading people call my husband a !!!!!)

CH27

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

So are you saying that only people with positive posts to add are allowed on here? What if [for example] someone comes on here [as often happens] asking how they need to change to stop their OH hitting them, and we are negative telling them that they need to change their OH rather than change themselves to stop the abuse?

Who decides what is positive and what is negative? If it's you - can you post a checklist please. Thanks.

If everyone only agreed with everyone else, nothing would ever get resolved. I may not agree with any person who disagrees with me - but it's our right to do so not your right to tell us we aren't allowed to have differing opinions.

IMO it's not the differing opinions but the aggresive way they are put across that's the problem.
Difference of opinion is healthy & helpful. Insults aren't.

Sambucus_Nigra

mishkanorman wrote: »

I dont think the differing opinions are such a big deal its the peppering of insults that go with them, why do people feel the need to get so personal when responding ?

Being called a "bitter, twisted harpy" is disgusting language for anyone to use, yet 5 people thought it acceptable enough to thank !

I only started this thread for a rant, its a relevant topic for the site too. I dont begrude anyone who thinks he was right and I wrong, just those that have to throw all kinds of digs at us as people ! (its not nice reading people call my husband a !!!!!)

If you feel that people have been insulting, the post needs reporting to abuse.

mishkanorman

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

If you feel that people have been insulting, the post needs reporting to abuse.

And I have, to what end ? The post will be removed and the damage and upset is already done, with the offender free to move on to the next person they feel needs a harsh word from them !

Valli

Mishka - I can quite understand why you were upset about the gesture but that 16 YO is going to have her life turned upside down shortly -as I'm sure you realise. It was a lovely gesture on his part - he must be a lovely bloke. But if it were me in your situation I too would be thinking that he should have put his own family first! I was livid with my (now ex) hubby when his mum and brother (both adults, on benefits) had no money at all for some reason and he took them shopping, on our CC - and bought them booze 'because we've got to have a little drink.'
I just bottled it up though! (Mind you I haven't forgotten it :rotfl:).
If you post on a forum asking for opinions you KNOW someone will take the polar opposite view to you - if you wanted approval you should have asked someone a bit closer to you.

All the best with your new littley too - and remember, what goes around comes around.