Is my OH stupid or am I mean ???

mishkanorman

victory wrote: »

Anyways..back on topic...have you made up with your OH and how does it stand now in your house?

Thank you for asking,

As it turns out my husband is a bigger numpty than I first realised, he didnt win a washer/drier at all ! (bare with me)

He worded the whole conversation totally wrongly and freely admits the way it was told to me made it seem much worse than he intended. Basically it was a pick your own prize raffle so he was 2nd out (1st person took £50 cash which he had wanted) he had a look and didnt fancy anything but knew she wanted a machine. He took that prize for her knowing it would go pretty quick (by those husbands who know their wives better ) and in return asked her to pick up a meal for 2 voucher which we could use.

That way round I totally see his logic, on a first come first served basis it would have been daft of him to take the £20 meal voucher - better she have the prize than someone else. If it had been that he was told this is your prize and he passed over to her it seems in my mind a lot worse somehow ??

He has apologized for not seeing its worth to us, I have also apologized for seeing the money not his train of thought. He can now see how much the money could have done for us, but - in his words - its only £200 for a machine :eek: - when he was set straight he was kicking himself for giving away the potential money. I also shared some of my emotional upset at the moment which he was clearly clueless about as he did this :eek: so I guess he had forgotten our baby was supposed to be due soon.

I turned to some of my friends and had a moan and they both were really lovely, i also shared our news and one of them has kindly offered us a nursery set - Ive no idea what it comprises of as she didnt want to go into too much detail till we get the all clear from the hospital. So his karma has paid us back already

Just to be clear on a point most may have missed, I thought (and still feel) his actions were not putting his family first - AND that I could see the gesture was a kind one.

ska_lover

I've been following this thread, and If this forum is a true representation of society, then there are some bitter people with some real heavy chips on their shoulders.

Glad it all turned out to be somewhat of a misunderstanding OP. Hope you enjoy your meal

Lexxi

And I'd just come back to tell you my OH has given away our house and I'm furious! So ignore my last post! And it isn't to someone who hasn't got somewhere to live. We mostly work away but I hav to move all my things out so they can have my bed, use my things and when I come home I get to stay at my parents, despite paying the bills!

I am glad you got a full explanation and hope you enjoy your meal, I imagine you'll be glad of the chance to chill out, even if it's just the evening

BigBlackcat

Glad you've sorted it all out OP!

Anyone with any sense could see exactly why you would be upset with your DH's "generosity" given your current circumstances, and to say otherwise is being deliberately obtuse.

Oh, and Meritwhateveryournameis. I am truly appalled at your vile diatribe. You should be ashamed of yourself. I have read the whole thread, and there is only ONE poster that sounds like a "bitter and twisted harpy" and it's definitely NOT OP;)

sassyblue

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I have no idea. What do you want me to say? You know what MSE is like, and if you post personal stuff it's highly likely that someone is going to insult you at some point. You have to ignore them and get on with it.

Why?

Why would you feel you need to insult someone? You can say lots of things to people but resorting to insulting people like you have done will inflame others and adds nothing but trouble to the thread.

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

So are you saying that only people with positive posts to add are allowed on here? What if [for example] someone comes on here [as often happens] asking how they need to change to stop their OH hitting them, and we are negative telling them that they need to change their OH rather than change themselves to stop the abuse?

Who decides what is positive and what is negative? If it's you - can you post a checklist please. Thanks.

If everyone only agreed with everyone else, nothing would ever get resolved. I may not agree with any person who disagrees with me - but it's our right to do so not your right to tell us we aren't allowed to have differing opinions.

I mean look at the bits l highlighted l never said any of that so your post is worthless really but you couldn't resist being silly.

It's true that it says more about you than it does me.

thatgirlsam

Meritaten can be a really nasty piece of work at times..

But she has said herself I'm sure there are mental health issues involved so I wouldnt read too much into her posts

I think she finds it hard to know whats offensive and whats not

Thats the impression I get anyway

aliasojo

thatgirlsam wrote: »

But she has said herself I'm sure there are mental health issues involved so I wouldnt read too much into her posts

I didn't know that. I was really surprised at her posts so maybe that explains things.

Maybe it's time the thread just died now?

OP, glad you have reconciled things.

Sambucus_Nigra

sassyblue wrote: »

Why?

Why would you feel you need to insult someone? You can say lots of things to people but resorting to insulting people like you have done will inflame others and adds nothing but trouble to the thread.

I mean look at the bits l highlighted l never said any of that so your post is worthless really but you couldn't resist being silly.

It's true that it says more about you than it does me.

I'm just picking apart your post which stated that if people can't be positive then they should stay away from the keyboard. However, your positive might be someone else's negative. So how does anyone know what is and isn't positive? If everyone was just agreeing with an OP then what's the point in any forum?

Sorry you misunderstood it.

Acc72

mishkanorman wrote: »

im fuming for several reasons

I had a shout and I doubt very much I will see him again tonight

Having just read your update, I guess in future it would be better to actually talk to your husband and get the full story before "fuming" and "shouting" and getting wound up by asking strangers on an internet forum ?

I am glad that it all worked out in the end, but I do feel that what was a relatively minor issue that has been blown all out of proportion, and you need to look at yourself as to the reasons why this happened.

burnoutbabe

well i don't see the basic facts were any different. He won the right to 2nd pick in a raffle, so should have picked the most expensive thing, not a £20 meal. the other person had "no right" to say she wanted the most expensive thing, surely everyone wanted that?

Am suprised they gave a washer dryer (£400?) as its hardly a portable thing to take home from a raffle. And why did no 1 picker not take that, rather than £50 cash. strange choice.