Is my OH stupid or am I mean ???

mishkanorman

My husband went to a quiz last night with the girls he works with, I stayed at home with our children. It was late when he got home and early when he went to work so we have only just talked about it.

he has just informed me that he won a brand new washer/drier in the half time raffle :j and has given it to the 16 year old girl he works with "for her bubba, as its a nice thing to do" she is expecting her first baby in a couple of months.

im fuming for several reasons, although we have a year old washing machine so have no need for the actual prize.

We are expecting our third child in September and will need to purchase a new monitor, travel cot and most importantly we need a new pushchair/car seat. I've have been looking into 2nd hand for all of them as there is no way we can do it otherwise.

Obviously its a lovely, thoughtful thing to do but I just cant see how what he has done isnt putting our new baby after this girls - who he has only known for 6 months :mad:

anyone care to defend him ? as he is currently sulking upstairs after I had a shout and I doubt very much I will see him again tonight

~Chameleon~

Perhaps her needs are greater than yours. I think it was a very kind gesture from your OH and maybe you're being a tad selfish

Tea-and-Cake_3

He should have consulted you first but I think it was a kind thing to do especially as it hasn't cost you anything, you haven't lost anything you didn't have. How would you feel if someone you hardly knew did something like that for you....you'd probably never forget that kindness.

daska

I think he should have asked you first. It may be that this girl is far worse off than you are and that, knowing her situation, you would have agreed with his decision. But, yep, I think he should have discussed it with you.

busiscoming2

I can see both sides.

He was just lucky winning and knew your washer was quite new, so thought it would be a nice gesture to give it to someone who would benefit from it.

You, understandably are miffed and I probably would be too.

He's a bloke and they don't think the way we do. Just accept it - he could just have easily not have won.

pimento

What a nice thing for him to do. Cut him some slack. You said yourself you don't need a washing machine and you'd get peanuts if you sold it.

fluffnutter

I think the pertinent thing (to a man anyway) is that you have no need of the particular item. He won't think 'OK, we've got one of those, but we do need *this*. Perhaps we could sell it/swap it'. He'll think 'We've got one of those, she hasn't. Her need's greater than ours' hence his kind gesture.

To you (and to many women perhaps) that seems like he's prioritising this girl ahead of you, your kids and the new baby. But I very much doubt he's thought it through that far.

Just_Plain_Jane

Rightly or wrongly, I'd have been livid. It could've been sold and the money used to buy the things you need. It was a great gesture from him but where I come from, charity begins at home.

whitewing

I think it's truce time. It was kind as the girl is only young. I think you'll get it back again in kind, maybe not as quickly as you need.

Kiss and make up.

mishkanorman

pimento wrote: »

What a nice thing for him to do. Cut him some slack. You said yourself you don't need a washing machine and you'd get peanuts if you sold it.

I also should have said in the OP, we havent actually paid for ours yet as we are still paying it off monthly . . . . .

EllaBeagle

As much as it is a nice thing to do I would be fuming that I hadn´t been asked first. He could´ve texted/rang you or maybe claimed the prize and spoke to you about it first. Let him sulk