Is my OH stupid or am I mean ???

fluffnutter

He doesn't see you as needy, misha. Which is frustrating, but probably quite healthy, TBH.

thatgirlsam

No, I don't think he is stupid and I don't think you are mean either!

He has made a very kind gesture to someone in need, you should be proud of him for that

He has also not thought how you might feel, or whether it would have benefitted his family, your annoyance is justified

He sounds a really kind man, if a little careless or unthinking?

Spirit_2

Your husband is not stupid. He made a spontaneous gesture to give his prize to some one in need.

Please say well done to him from me, for his charitable and warm hearted gesture.

I do think your reaction mean.

madtrekker

Without knowing your hubby, I'm guessing he's rather like most men in that he probably would have thought quite simply "we've bought one quite recently so we don't need a new one" rather than "let's take the prize and sell it to get some money to buy x y z".
I imagine that the 16 year old doesn't have much money and your husband probably knows that the washer as it stands would have been much more useful to her than to you.

In your shoes, I'd have been a bit cross but proud of my thoughtful (but at the same time, thoughtless!) husband.

lostinrates

They could never split a white good between a team. It must have been a group decision, and a wonderfully kind one. How lucky you are to be married to a guy who is kind, a team player and who feels his family wants for little having each other!

Relax, op. give hima kiss and feel lucky.

j.e.j.

mishkanorman wrote: »

anyone care to defend him ? as he is currently sulking upstairs after I had a shout and I doubt very much I will see him again tonight

OK, I'll have a go

He didn't actually give away anything of yours, in fact you have said yourself you don't need a machine.

Fwiw washer-dryers apparently aren't anywhere near as good as separates, and they break down quite frequently, so you may not be missing out on much..

I can see why he'd give a prize to someone who is in much more need of it and who'd otherwise have to shell out for a washing machine. Maybe I'd do the same, in his shoes.

I'd see it like, you haven't actually lost anything, - you just haven't gained anything either.

JodyBPM

I think he just did a nice thing. You don't need the washer drier and the girl did, so he let her have it, probably without even considering that it could be sold and the money used for something else. To be honest, you probably wouldn't get anywhere near the "new" value for the washer/drier as it would effectively be second hand, so in some respects its better "value" overall to give it to someone who needs it.

Do you not have your buggy/monitor etc from your older children to use again for the new baby?

[Deleted User]

Hi,

mishkanorman wrote: »

I also should have said in the OP, we havent actually paid for ours yet as we are still paying it off monthly . . . . .

so what are you going to do with it, can you send it back?

I think he did good, and I sure he will be well, thought of for his generosity.

Peater

You didn't have it before the quiz, you don't have it afterwards.

He made a gesture that will make a small difference to a young mum's life. Good on him.

Wind yer neck in!

meritaten

he is male hun - linear thinking! You dont need a washer/drier and this 'kid' did! simples! he isnt stupid - but has a kind heart! you arent selfish exactly...........but this sixteenyear old was probably in more need than you.........so try to be as kind as your OH - perhaps you could offer some outgrown 'things' to help this poor kid?