Is my OH stupid or am I mean ???

victory

Why are you so upset is it because you wanted to have it to sell it to get the stuff you actually need? Would you have put it on gumtree/ebay and got the money for something else?

aliasojo

I'd have been fizzing tbh. Selling the machine could have provided the cash for a new pushchair. It's not so much the machine itself, it's the lack of thought for his own that would bug me.

I remember my OH telling his sister one day that her young son could use our daughter's car seat despite the fact this meant our daughter would have to sit in the car normally with an adult belt round her. Granted she was a few years older than her cousin but she was little and still needed her seat.

I hit the roof and needless to say he's been much more careful with his offerings since.

It's done now OP, you just need to try to forget it and move on. No point in one bad situation causing all sorts of fallout.

mishkanorman

Some things to add after reading your replies !

The 16 year old has a partner, he works full time and earns as much if not more than my OH, its not really the case of a poor 16 year old who is struggling to scrape together stuff for baby. (but still i know its tough going when you first start out)

It was a quiz team, and a raffle in the break - others on the table won prizes too ! The prize was his and his alone !

We dont have a tumble drier !

I wouldnt be annoyed half as much if he had come home told me and suggested they have the prize, BUT i would have said sell it to her for half what its worth so we ALL benefit.

and finally JodyBPM, as I stated in my OP, we need those things, we gave away our travel cot, the pushchair broke on the 2nd baby and we loaned but havent got back our baby monitor. My middle child is also 7 this year so most of our baby bits have been passed on.

Im feeling less angry as a - Ive eaten and b - I can see how that would be a lovely thing to be given. its just knowing our finances as I do I know i could have done so much with even £50 from it !

lovethymini

I think your husband acted on the spur of the moment and out of the kindness of his heart.
I gave a car to my skint brother once, okay I wasn't exactly rolling in it myself but it felt good to help him.
Anyone seen Pay it Forward?....

marleyboy

I think what he has done should be commended, he obviously felt she needed it more than you both did. You have to ask who won it exactly, as such he is entitled to do pretty much what he wants with it.

Not winning a prize is no great loss, as you are both neither worse off as a result of his win.

gastronomix

Be grateful that you have a partner who isnt mean and doesnt just think about himself. He may not have considered the bigger picture but given the circumstances of a convivial atmosphere with probably a few drinks in the mix, making a spontaneous gesture like this isn't unreasonable. What goes around....

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

As you said yourself, you don't need a new washing machine. He probably remembers the interminable trek around Comet to get it like it was yesterday (I hate shopping for appliances). So he knows you don't need it.


She does.


You're being a bit unfair on him. OK, looking at in dispassionately, you could have flogged it to someone, but his first thought was 'we don't need one' the second thought was 'she doesn't have one' and the third was 'why don't you have it?'.


It makes him an instinctively nice bloke, IMO. Albeit one that probably won't tell you next time he helps someone out because you'll only shout at him and call him names.

VikkiiKawaii

It was a nice thing for your husband to do, however I do understand your viewpoint and it would have been MUCH better had he come home and consulted you first. Unfortunately that's what men can be like sometimes. Hope all goes well with your new baby and that you do find the money to get the things you need

poet123

Men really are wired differently to us! It would seem to him that as a family you had a machine, she didn't, simple decision. He wouldn't have thought beyond that. In a perfect scenario he would have waited till he got home and discussed it with you, but the words were probably out before he thought about it. I think you have probably got your point across, time to move on!!

meritaten

mishkanorman wrote: »

Some things to add after reading your replies !

The 16 year old has a partner, he works full time and earns as much if not more than my OH, its not really the case of a poor 16 year old who is struggling to scrape together stuff for baby. (but still i know its tough going when you first start out)

It was a quiz team, and a raffle in the break - others on the table won prizes too ! The prize was his and his alone !

We dont have a tumble drier !

I wouldnt be annoyed half as much if he had come home told me and suggested they have the prize, BUT i would have said sell it to her for half what its worth so we ALL benefit.

and finally JodyBPM, as I stated in my OP, we need those things, we gave away our travel cot, the pushchair broke on the 2nd baby and we loaned but havent got back our baby monitor. My middle child is also 7 this year so most of our baby bits have been passed on.

Im feeling less angry as a - Ive eaten and b - I can see how that would be a lovely thing to be given. its just knowing our finances as I do I know i could have done so much with even £50 from it !

sorry Mishka - I assumed the sixteen yr old would be struggling! made an !!! of me again!
I still think your oh thought in the male linear way - probably never occurred to him you could sell it and that way buy something for your own kids! Spur of the moment thing for him perhaps?

Put it behind you!

btw - where is this quiz? my local only has prizes of £25 quid! fancy a night out quizzing? lol perhaps you should get a babysitter in and invest in a half of whatever and form your own team! Prizes of a washer/drier are not to be sniffed at!