My eldest has changed his xmas list

victory

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dirtysexymonkey

victory wrote: »

This morning his room was a tip, such a tip, I felt such a pit in my stomach I was going to grab it all and throw the whole lot out of the window, that just makes me some kind of psycho mum that can't control herself, I closed the door, went out, came back and it had all been cleared away and back to normal, so in one way I saved myself and in another way I wanted to kick off.....

so he cleaned and tidied his room and you still wanted to kick off?

why are you even going into his room? its his room. hes old enough to do his own washing and keep his room in the state that he is comfortable in - hell never learn to look after himself if your either always nagging or doing it for him.

unless his room is so dirty its affecting outside of his room, close the door and leave it.

duchy

victory wrote: »

If you were to ask him we spend not a penny on him, we have a wipe board in the kitchen if he loans it gets put there, sends him crazy 'everyone gets x y z paid for by parents' Iget it written on the board

Yeah yeah the "Everyone else's parents" line.
Most kids stop using that one at about 14 years old.:p

victory

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victory

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Giddytimes

Have you actually bought the driving lessons yet?

If not I'd just give him the cash for Christmas, exactly the amount you were going to spend on driving lessons and clothes and leave it there. He can't sulk as then it's his choice whether he'd rather have a laptop, or driving lessons/clothes.

His behaviour is appauling, but just giving him the cash might save another argument on Christmas day.

I do agree that you should spend the same amount on both children though, regardless of any age gap.

Lotus-eater

So let me get this right. After all the good natured advice to do something about your son.

You are yet again going to do nothing? Not change the way you are and let him continue on?

dirtysexymonkey

Giddytimes wrote: »

Have you actually bought the driving lessons yet?

If not I'd just give him the cash for Christmas, exactly the amount you were going to spend on driving lessons and clothes and leave it there. He can't sulk as then it's his choice whether he'd rather have a laptop, or driving lessons/clothes.

His behaviour is appauling, but just giving him the cash might save another argument on Christmas day.

I do agree that you should spend the same amount on both children though, regardless of any age gap.

this completely. i dont understand why this isnt the case?

victory

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lostinrates

victory wrote: »

It is true I have never actually done it but I have often said to him ot go and help out in a hospital ward and then see how hard done by you are or go to volunteer in Africa and see what they have and then come back and appreciate it all you have, words I know not actions but have said it often he has to see that he has according to him nothing actually financially but is blessed with love, this house, etc etc

why not put it into action this year? I think the homelessness situation is more pertinant to your son....its where he would be without you.