My eldest has changed his xmas list

victory

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Welshwoofs

victory wrote: »

Thanks for the hug much appreciated;) at his gf they love him, he does odd jobs for them, he behaves, he is polite, they love him, include him in everything, speak highly of him, send him lovely cards as thank you for helping us, they take him out for dinner, buy him things, they love him.

In other words, he treats you like a doormat because you let him.

Good behaviour and politeness isn't purchased. He's not polite there because they give him what he wants, he's polite because he has to be. It sounds as though he doesn't have to be with you - if he kicks off you try reasoning with him as though he's a small child. Time to put down the carrot and pick up the stick I think.

BitterAndTwisted

victory wrote: »

Part of me screams inside, how dare you even ask for something you ungrateful sausage you will be given what you get, you £$$% and
"££$ and why oh why are you demanding asking expecting something we cannot afford you £%$%^^&&

The time has passed for any screaming inside. You should be saying those things to his face. He's quite old enough to be told them in words of one syllable now.

He cannot change the present goal-posts now so close to Christmas when he already agreed on the things you were going to give him.

He's been playing you like a fiddle for a very long time now, he's a past-master at it.

The very next time he raises this issue with you tell him that you are sick of his petulant demands for things you are unable to provide. And even if you were able to provide them you'd be unwilling to, precisely because of his very unreasonable and hateful attitude. Next time he tries to guilt-trip you he will be getting nothing. And stick to it.

Bennifred

victory wrote: »

thorsoak wrote: »

Thanks for the hug much appreciated;) at his gf they love him, he does odd jobs for them, he behaves, he is polite, they love him, include him in everything, speak highly of him, send him lovely cards as thank you for helping us, they take him out for dinner, buy him things, they love him.

Maybe it's time they knew how he treats you!

If I were you I'd let him go to his girlfriend's if they want him, and really make the most of having a lovely Christmas with the rest of your family. Why should everyone else suffer for the sake of a childish selfish brat - and why are you letting them?! Put the nice ones first! Don't brood on him - he'll probably grow up one day, and in the meantime let him get on with it without letting affect the rest of you.

Please!:D

Mrs_Arcanum

Sounds like your son knows exactly which buttons to press to get what he wants. :mad:

You need to sit back and work out exactly what YOU want and then weigh up how likely you are to get it. Then stop chasing around after him for an unobtainable goal and move on. Accept that the ideal Christmas will be slightly downsized and enjoy the parts that truly make YOU happy. It may seem selfish but a happier you is far better for everyone. :A

Welshwoofs

victory wrote: »

Can you imagine how I will feel on xmas day if he is not here?

Relief that you don't have someone sitting there with a face like a slapped !!!!! intent on ruining Christmas for everyone around him?

victory

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victory

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Welshwoofs

victory wrote: »

Pride never thought of that one, he feels strongly that xmas is for opening the purse and enabling dreams to come true ie his, his being a luxury item a laptop, we should buy/provide/enable/give generously.

Does he? Well then this Christmas, how about volunteering him to work in a soup kitchen and perhaps he'll learn another meaning to it

janey183

good grief :shocked:
is this how he treats other people?
tell him to shut up and grow up and :mad::mad: !!
makes my blood boil reading this it really does:eek: