My eldest has changed his xmas list

brightonman123

two words- pound shop.

A 7year old wanting a laptop? !!!!!!.

Welshwoofs

Seriously? I don't know why you're even negotiating. You're describing a young man with a job and his own life and you're allowing him to hold you to ransom over a massively expensive christmas gift?

Sounds like what he needs is to be told "If you carry on whinging you'll get NOTHING. Now show some respect, appreciate what you get or jog off and spend Christmas elsewhere"

thorsoak

victory wrote: »

Envy makes him what shall we call it bitter jealous, unreasonable, cruel with words, difficult to live with and childish.

He makes me feel as if I am not good enough as a mother, that I should be better, I told him that he needs to know that we are not the family that can provide for him as he would like but to know that we love him and that we would do anything for him which just have not got the finances, he makes me feel worthless.[/QUOTE]


Victory - I want to give you a big {{hug}} here. Turn this around ....he is not good enough as a SON!! He is 18 and by now should realise that not everyone is equal, sad as that fact may be. His attitude is the worthless part in this equation.

I know it is hard - been there, done that, worn the hair shirt - but he has to learn "I WANT DOESN'T GET!!"

He really is such a brat - you love him, despite that fact - but he is a spoiled brat and its going to be very hard for him to get on in life with such an attitude.

Send him to his G/Fs for Christmas ... no - send him there for as long as they will put up with him :rotfl:

victory

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Sambucus_Nigra

victory wrote: »

True, it is very true, discussion about what you are getting for xmas when it is supposed to be a gift, come on:eek: OH and I wanted a peaceful happy xmas and many a thread on here will tell the character of my son, so we discussed way back the exact gifts so that we could breathe, have a great xmas, enjoy, sit back kick our shoes off and enjoy, it was all going fine until he chatted to all his mates and they are getting a laptop so he asked for one...

For goodness sakes; tell him it's tough - he's getting what he's getting and that's the end of it.

victory

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duchy

Good grief Victory
When I started reading the thread I assumed your son was about fourteen from your description of his behaviour My jaw dropped when you said he is an adult.

If he's going to whine and biatch Christmas day -then uninvite him .
To say he's only coming because you are so needy is insulting -and really what are you going to miss if he doesn't come ? It's not like he has nowhere else to go.

OK you've probably given in to him over and over before so the transition of child to adult is going to come as a shock to him and he won't like it-but you'll be doing you-and him-a favour.

Why not just tell him plans have changed and he's invited for tea (and secretly give his presents to his GF so he can open them Christmas morning at her parents.)

Might be hard to do but it'll make for nicer future Christmases and if you let him get away with it THIS Christmas-what stunt will he pull NEXT Christmas ????????

(BTW what does his GF make of all this -at that age if a BF of mine had acted like that he'd have found himself sooooo dumped-and fast !)

victory

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Welshwoofs

victory wrote: »

I should I know I should tell him to go to his gf for xmas but even the thought of it makes me feel sick ,what will that do to our relationship later in life? What does that make me? I know I so should I was so going to but chose the cowards way out and went for a bath instead.

It won't do anything to your relationship later in life because sooner or later he'll grow up and realise that knowing the price of everything, but the value of nothing is not a good way to be.

If you put up with that behaviour because you're worried about your future relationship with him, all you're doing is reinforcing his behaviour and he'll know that he can keep making your life hell if he doesn't get what he wants.

There will always be someone who has more than him at every point in life and it's a bloody good lesson to learn in life that he either accepts that or, if he's hell bent on having what others have, to work for them himself.

nearlyrich

If a child of mine had done one of things you have complained about on here recently I would have shown them the door, he sounds like a right pain in the arris and needs a swift lesson in working for what you want in life. There will always be someone who has more, life is not fair he needs to get used to it and get a job.