My eldest has changed his xmas list

victory

.........................

Plans_all_plans

I know you love your son, but the way he acts (going by your posts on here about him), I would be asking him to leave my house and stand on his own two feet until he learns some gratitude.

At the very least, he would have been told he's not welcome in my house at Christmas and to go and stay at his girlfriends. He can demand a laptop from them instead. My mum would have walloped me round the head and told me to leave their house if I'd carried on like this.

Where has this sense of entitlement come from?

balletshoes

yes, he is.

I don't honestly know what to say Victory, this seems to be pretty much a constant theme between you and your elder son.

victory

............................

balletshoes

Didn't he go off on almost exactly the same theme for his birthday?

if he wants you to put his driving lessons and clothes money towards a laptop, could you not just give him the money and tell him thats it, thats his pressie, what he does with it is up to him. But there will be no more money forthcoming for anything until its his birthday again, and now he's a man (as he keeps on telling you) it will be a token gift at that time.

Plans_all_plans

Everyone gets envious, it's human nature!

Your job as a parent is to help him understand that envy is pointless and if he wants something, he has to go out and earn it himself! Giving it to him on a plate will only make him worse.

Lotus-eater

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I know you love your son, but the way he acts (going by your posts on here about him), I would be asking him to leave my house and stand on his own two feet until he learns some gratitude.

At the very least, he would have been told he's not welcome in my house at Christmas and to go and stay at his girlfriends. He can demand a laptop from them instead. My mum would have walloped me round the head and told me to leave their house if I'd carried on like this.

Where has this sense of entitlement come from?

Yep, that ^

victory

........................

phunkles

Is this the same son who broke your phone? And demanded you bought him a new phone after he left it in his pocket in the wash?

IF he wants the same amount as his little brother Id be very tempted to play him at his own game and buy him the same as his brother. And get gift reciepts.
He sounds like a child so Id be tempted to treat him as he acts

Growing up my siblings and I have always had a roughly the same amount spent on us, just some years some peoples piles would be bigger than others as items cost different amounts.

Id be tempted to tell him to go his gfs for Xmas and take his freebie advent calander there too

Darlyd

OK so buy him a laptop - http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Dummy-Fake-Mini-Laptop-Ideal-Shop-Retail-Display-/250950013363?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_3&hash=item3a6dc951b3#ht_733wt_1037 am sure he never said he wanted a working one did he? lol

On a more serious note though, sounds like my eldest DD, could just slap them round the chops with a wet kipper I swear!

Parent support groups I been going too have told me not to just say a straight out no, BUT to say, well to be honest with you ***** we do not have the funds right now, perhaps later on we could review our financial situation.? Dd still throws her paddy but in a more less aggressive way now..

Plans_all_plans

Have you told him all of that victory? Without trying to dress it up as a joke, or getting angry with him? You should tell him how it makes you feel.

If he can't empathise and keep his mouth shut after you've told him, then I think if you do anything less than tough love, you're doing him a disservice and setting him up to be a very selfish adult.