My eldest has changed his xmas list

aliasojo

victory wrote: »

He wants stuff in the reality world, I want it sure I do why deny that but I live in the mortage pay bills way and if it comes ab fab it doesn't oh well there is always next time, makes no odds.

His actions are OTT, demands, unreasonable demands, I deserve ,I should have, I am having, you are providing, get me.

I have said over and over again my part in this, over again please read all the posts, it is all about reactions

I'm sorry victory, I have read the posts. I've read the whole thread from start to finish.

We obviously have different takes on the situation.

You see a selfish, greedy son who wont change and makes your heart hurt. He's pleasant to others and others get the good side of him. You try to be reasonable with him, yet you get the grief. You can't understand why this is so because you've only ever tried your best for him. He values material things, you value relationships. You just want him to be 'nicer'.

I (we?) see a slightly different picture. Simply put, I see a relationship which has gone down an unhealthy route, a son who pushes and a Mum who deals with things in a less than effective way, which then perpetuates the situation.

Yes, he is clearly a PITA and is wrong for acting as he does. No-one disagrees with you, we can all see how horrible it must be to live with that kind of unfair negativity.

The difference is, none of us would deal with it the way you do. When we try to offer advice as to what to do, all you do is reply with a 'he says this and she says that so how do I know what to do' type of response.

I did think you were taking things on board after reading your first reply this morning, but I think those were just words tbh and you either can't or wont do the actions required in real life. I don't mean that in a nasty way, I'm just recognising the differences in the way we think.

victory

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aliasojo

Nelski wrote: »

I know MSE is somewhat addictive but girl you can take that to another level

*has the good grace to recognise that this could apply to me* :rotfl:

Mojisola

victory wrote: »

I have respites, I enjoy them I bet my son enjoys them to, we all do, we all benefit from respites

So make the changes in your relationship/reaction to your son and you could have this all the time.

victory

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Nelski

aliasojo wrote: »

*has the good grace to recognise that this could apply to me* :rotfl:

as if.............:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Bumpmakesfour

victory wrote: »

I have respites, I enjoy them I bet my son enjoys them to, we all do, we all benefit from respites, what sets him off is envy, friend envy, the big wide world out there that he sees out there covered in gold, guilded and it is not the case, one thing I cannot do is give up on my son just because he is problematic or demanding or difficult and hard to live with, I can't give up on him.

I think that sums it up hun.You are seeing this as a real battle,a quest to "save" him.I see it as telling him a simple "no..grow up".He may leave he may not,it's a risk you have to take because you're doing him no favours right now.Let him go and discover that those streets are not paved with gold himself x

victory

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badmumof1

Interesting signature you have Victory.
Hes 18, suppose to be a man but acts like a spoilt brat sorry but he needs a kick out into the real world

victory

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