My eldest has changed his xmas list

victory

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thatgirlsam

the_cat wrote: »

The value of the item you have caved over is of no relevance.
He thinks this behaviour has an effect on you - because you have proved that it does, albeit on smaller things. Being a teenager his thought process will be, well if I kick up a bigger stink who knows, she might cave over a bigger item. Pushing the boundaries.

What negative thing happens when he behaves like this? What punishment/withdrawal of privilege? There has to be a negative to disuade him from trying it on, otherwise why shouldn't he just give it a try?[/QUOTE]

I would imagine its about 15 years too late!

He is a 19 year old man isn't he? Have I got that right?

Surely the negative would, or should, be that he is hurting his mother?!

victory

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meritaten

Victory - I wasnt being flippant! no way! my middle son has issues about how he sees his childhood - despite being told by oldest daughter that he is wrong! I also know I spent equal amounts on them all - and tried to spend more time with the other two if I wasnt down the hospital - but I cannot convince middle son of that - and he is THIRTY now! so I give up - you cant change peoples mindset!
I think you are just too dam understanding with him - he strops and you seem to take it! if I am wrong - then I am sorry, its just the way you come across on here!
So. he isnt getting the laptop then? equal money? thats fair and dont let him tell you otherwise! or make you feel guilty!

thatgirlsam

victory wrote: »

I am not disgusted by him no I feel loads of different things for him, frustration, despair, anger, love, why? there is a lot there a lot should I turn my back on him just because he has a voice, because he witters on, because he is misbehaving, because he makes it so difficult to get through to him? PHEW

Eh??

Just because he has a voice? What ARE you on about?

He has told you unless you get him a present of value then he will go round his GF's for xmas

Thats the facts - That is not him having an opinion or a voice

I am quite a left wing sort of girl but that behaviour I find just awful and if it were my son I would be disgusted

victory

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victory

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thatgirlsam

victory wrote: »

thatgirlsam wrote: »

he goes on regardless of that, he goes on regardless of deterrents and he goes on regardlss of knowng that he will not get, he goes on when he thinks he is owed, he demands, he deserves, he needs , he wants he goes on and on and then he stops when he gets negatives when he gets the idea no laptop and he settles and then he goes on and on agai for another birthday etc

It doesn't sound like the normal behaviour of a 19 year old to me

thatgirlsam

victory wrote: »

I am not disgusted with him no, just ahhhhhhh and as for the voice he says he has a right to it that is what I was getting at

I think you need to toughen up - you are an easy target for your son who is appalling for taking advantage of that

victory

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