My eldest has changed his xmas list

Frogletina

stargazer59 wrote: »

You seem to treat your children differently, i always spent the same on mine, i do not see why you don't, you have been asked this endlessly but have not answered.

Don't get me wrong, it is a hard thing bringing up teenagers, i am surprised i have managed to get 3 of them into adulthood and still have a 13 year old to get there, but fairness and treating them equally was one thing i always did, and knowing when to cut the apron strings no matter how much it hurts.

Can I just ask those who say to treat children equally that surely there comes a time when it has to end?

You say you have 3 children in adulthood, Stargazer59, so do you still spend the same on all of your eldest as you do with the 13 year old?

I have 3 adult children, and their partners and grandchildren to buy for. With people talking about £200 or more for children these days, as you get older the Christmas and birthday list grows substantially there has to be a cut off point which I set at after their 18th birthday - at which point the presents were similar to other adults presents.

victory

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nickyhutch

If you stop arguing with him, he wont be able to argue with you. Tell him you're not going to discuss this any more, he's getting £150 in cash, and that's the end of it.

victory

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stargazer59

victory wrote: »

He treats himself like a child acting as he does would you expect an adult a man as he keeps saying he is to behave as he does ?

No that is wrong the xmas expenditure would have been the same but it will not be if a laptop is bought will it? what then happens to the 50/50 he so insists on? So for him it is 50/50 only when it suits him? Youngest would not dream of saying 50/50 ever and tv to laptop is and eldest knows this nevergoing to be 50/50

It can be the same if you just do it, no discussion. exactly the same on each, Tv Etc for younger son, same in cash to the eldest, to do with as he wishes. You do not need to discuss it at all.

Sadly from your comments you really do seem to favour your youngest as he seems more likeable to you. If we can see this on the screen he must see this in real life.

The board in the kitchen thing just seems one humiliation too far i am afraid, that is private between you and him, not for all to see.

It is really hard parenting teens but seriously you do have to pick your battles.

victory

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victory

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stargazer59

Frogletina wrote: »

Can I just ask those who say to treat children equally that surely there comes a time when it has to end?

You say you have 3 children in adulthood, Stargzer, so do you still spend the same on all of your eldest as you do with the 13 year old?

I have 3 adult children, and their partners and grandchildren to buy for. With people talking about £200 or more for children these days, as you get older the Christmas and birthday list grows substantially there has to be a cut off point which I set at after their 18th birthday - at which point the presents were similar to other adults presents.

I nearly mentioned that but i feared i was writing a novel!

I have 3 adult children and they have partners and two have children,i spend less on my adult children as they have left home and have their own families,much as you do, however when they were living at home they were all treated the same.

(have to admit to spoling my grandkids but that is allowed;))

victory

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dirtysexymonkey

victory wrote: »

The board in the kitchen has been wiped off that is one thing I did.

The youngest is not favoured he has asked for a tv and eldest a laptop hardly 50/50 is it? Youngest asks eldest demands see the difference?

youve already said that you favour your youngest! and before that everyone knew it anyway - they can tell from all your posts about your kids.

now you deny it!

your eldest wants to be treated equally, and you wont do that so now you say your eldest wants more when clearly he doesnt!