My eldest has changed his xmas list

victory

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robpw2

victory wrote: »

He treats himself like a child acting as he does would you expect an adult a man as he keeps saying he is to behave as he does ?

No that is wrong the xmas expenditure would have been the same but it will not be if a laptop is bought will it? what then happens to the 50/50 he so insists on? So for him it is 50/50 only when it suits him? Youngest would not dream of saying 50/50 ever and tv to laptop is and eldest knows this nevergoing to be 50/50

you could get a cheap notebook from a second hand shop for about £90 , he hasnt really specified what kinda laptop he wants your just making it bigger then it seems

however you do not have to buy him one at all , just say no !!!
seriously we all want stuff and we don't always get what we want , id like a lottery win but it hasnt happened , i just got on with life and thats what he will do

ska_lover

Seems like your lad has forgot who is in charge in your house. Teenagers will only do, what you let them get away with. Disclipline isn't easy, and it is harder than doing nothing at all. I've been where you are,I could have been the OP in this post a few years back (Ive got a 19 year old lad) and realised a few years backback, that the reason why I wasnt getting any respect was because I wasnt demanding any.Things have changed and he is like a different young man now.As far as the demanding goes, just say No. That is all you have to do. Ignore any further discussion than this.

I think the point about spending different amount of money on them may be contributing, because your eldest lad may see it as you are sending out a message. Just out of interest, Why would you spend less on him, than your youngest? My spend hasn't changed over the years on my lad - apart from one thing - the pile of presents is a lot smaller for the same money lol - you know when they are little and you can get an almighty load of toys etc for, say £100, but a nintedo ds and game wrapped up, look tiny under the tree!

My lad, as much as I would love him to be home, has decided to spend xmas day with his girlfriend - as he did last year. Now don't get me wrong, I would prefer him to be at home, but would never say it to him. I dont want to guilt trip him into doing what I want him to do, I want him to do what he wants to do.After all xmas is just one day, and if you force your lad into doing something he doesn't want, it could distrupt what could be a lovely day.

dirtysexymonkey

victory wrote: »

He treats himself like a child acting as he does would you expect an adult a man as he keeps saying he is to behave as he does ?

No that is wrong the xmas expenditure would have been the same but it will not be if a laptop is bought will it? what then happens to the 50/50 he so insists on? So for him it is 50/50 only when it suits him? Youngest would not dream of saying 50/50 ever and tv to laptop is and eldest knows this nevergoing to be 50/50

if it will be the same now, why wasnt it before? you said clearly before that you were not spending equal amounts.

euronorris

Victory - you need to start looking inward, at what you are doing that is creating or escalating the situation unnecessarily.

Until you do, you'll get nowhere. So far, I cannot see that you have taken on board any of the points about your own behaviour in this. You continually revert back to blaming it ALL on your son.

Until that changes, no one can help you, and so it's a bit pointless in us trying. So, I wish you well. I hope it all works out, but I''m leaving the thread now.

victory

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dirtysexymonkey

euronorris wrote: »

Victory - you need to start looking inward, at what you are doing that is creating or escalating the situation unnecessarily.

Until you do, you'll get nowhere. So far, I cannot see that you have taken on board any of the points about your own behaviour in this. You continually revert back to blaming it ALL on your son.

Until that changes, no one can help you, and so it's a bit pointless in us trying. So, I wish you well. I hope it all works out, but I''m leaving the thread now.

:T:T:T

Until that happens everyone is just wasting their time. well said!:):T

nearlyrich

You have to pick your battles, behave like an adult yourself and be prepared to do what you threaten to do otherwise children run rings round you as a parent, my two are not perfect but they would never have behaved like this. If the adult parent starts losing it the child sees it and emulates the behavior.

victory

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~Chameleon~

victory wrote: »

Why would he? We are all adults with sparks flying because he pretends to play at being an adult and demands a laptop, do you think he should?

But it's not about the laptop, is it! That's just the latest catalyst. The problems between you run far deeper. I don't know the history so can't comment further having not read any of your previous threads.