My eldest has changed his xmas list

neverdespairgirl

Caroline_a wrote: »

Christmas lists are to give people ideas... not a god-given right! Mine has a new car on it :rotfl:, some designer clothes that magically make me into a size 10, and a house that cleans itself!

Hey! You nicked my Christmas list!

victory

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aliasojo

victory wrote: »

If you were to ask him we spend not a penny on him, we have a wipe board in the kitchen if he loans it gets put there, sends him crazy 'everyone gets x y z paid for by parents' Iget it written on the board

I hesitate to write this as I don't want you to think I'm getting at you (I promise I'm not, I 'suffered' with a PITA son so so if anything I empathise) BUT, I really don't agree with what you do.

It seems to me that you just kinda poke him with a stick sometimes. :rotfl:I'm not surprised you don't get better behaviour/reactions from him. I daresay the g/f's parents treat him with more respect and that's why they get a different persona from him.

It's fair enough to want to keep note of loans etc, but putting the info up in a public place for all members of the family to see? Just seems like respect is missing all round.

Yes I agree he needs his bum kicked but I think you do too.

Mojisola

victory wrote: »

I left to go abroad after finishing school so she housed me up until then...

Exactly! You grew up and became independent.

From the posts you've made over several threads about your son, it sounds as if you discuss things and try to explain yourself too much. He sounds like a toddler who knows that if he goes on and on and on about something, Mum will give in.

olibrofiz

oo-er, this is moving fast - two pages gone by !

I think we try and do our best for our kids, and we don't always get it right. Its damn hard being a parent.

victory

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pelirocco

SingleSue wrote: »

I do all 3 of mine equally no matter how old they are...mind you, the amounts are not spectacular, certainly not TV or laptop amounts.

My parents are the same, my eldest at 18 gets the same amount spent on him as my youngest niece who is 4 and I get the same spent on me as my sister who is 6 years younger than me and my brother who is 3 years older than me (the grandchildren get £5 more spent on them than the children)

Just seem fairer that way.

The same here , Why are you spending less on the eldest ?. maybe he complains so much because you dont treat the the same ?

But then i also think a public forum is not the place to run your own family members down

aliasojo

victory wrote: »

Do you think if he were to be independent he would fare out there on his own? Uhm makes me wonder how long he would last...

I don't know. I wasn't advocating chucking him out with a sleeping bag. I don't see any reason why he would fail if things were set up properly and he still had support to an extent.

I left home at 16, travelled 300 miles to a place I'd never been before and got myself a flat. Granted it was years ago and things are very different these days but young people can be capable.

dirtysexymonkey

aliasojo wrote: »

I hesitate to write this as I don't want you to think I'm getting at you (I promise I'm not, I 'suffered' with a PITA son so so if anything I empathise) BUT, I really don't agree with what you do.

It seems to me that you just kinda poke him with a stick sometimes. :rotfl:I'm not surprised you don't get better behaviour/reactions from him. I daresay the g/f's parents treat him with more respect and that's why they get a different persona from him.

It's fair enough to want to keep note of loans etc, but putting the info up in a public place for all members of the family to see? Just seems like respect is missing all round.

Yes I agree he needs him bum kicked but I think you do too.

you might want to duck now!:D

i agree with what you say though - the op seems to want to 'beat' her son by playing games with him, without realising that shes stopping him from growing up and thus losing whatever games shes playing.

victory

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