My eldest has changed his xmas list

victory

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victory

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~Chameleon~

victory wrote: »

He says I have to house him I am his mother

Who is the parent & child in this relationship?

dirtysexymonkey

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Sorry, I think it's more than that.

My Dad is a lawyer, and my parents relatively well-off. But none of us (I'm the eldest of 4) ever demanded X Y or Z for Christmas. Or kicked off if we didn't get a laptop, car, driving lessons, whatever it was.

In fact, my parents did buy me a desk top after my A level results came out, in 1996, as a "congratulations" present. I was surprised, and very chuffed indeed. So I set it up downstairs and my siblings could then use it too. I doubt I'd have been bought a computer if I hadn't done well in my A levels, either.

My parents also had a strict no-TV-in-bedrooms rule.

And we never calculated up the value of each other's Christmas or birthday presents, either! I'm sure it varied hugely, but it probably all came out in the wash over several years. All hell would have broken out if I'd said anything like the things your son says to you.

In my experience of wealthy-lawyers-as-parents (9 girls in my year at school, out of 101 of us, had either a QC or a High Court Judge as a father) not one of us would ever have got away with behaving like your son, either. Wealthy lawyers tend to be pretty hard-working and self-disciplined, and expect similar hard work and self-discipline in their children.

I reckon your son would be horrified by my upbringing, and the rules and regulations I thought were perfectly normal.

Until I went to university, I'd never, ever, been out to a pub / club etc on a "school night". Even when I was 17/18 and working for my A levels, the only things I did on school nights after school were homework, school club type things (netball, debating, chess) or music lessons. School nights were for doing homework, and going to bed early, ready to get up at 6.30am to go to school.

the differences between you and the ops son are easy to spot - you were raised in very different ways.

Mojisola

victory wrote: »

He says I have to house him I am his mother

We've all had a mother, including you. Do you still expect your mother to house you?

olibrofiz

I have a 16 year old with 'friend envy' - everyone has an iphone apparently, or a contract phone, she won't be getting either from me for xmas or at any other time as a) she'd loose it (she's lost countless phones, and lost her new ipod within 3 weeks of getting it) and b) she'd run up massive bills without a care in the world. Sometimes you just HAVE to say no, mega strop or not.

I would be inclined to tell your son that 50/50 works both ways - his brother is getting a tv, if you haven't already paid for driving lessons give him the equivalent amount in cash and tell him that was the 50/50, his choice. If he wanted to save it towards a laptop, fine, if he wanted to blow the lot, again fine, there would be no further cash coming for driving lessons.

As regards coming for xmas day I can see that you're torn. I feel he should have a choice spelt out to him, and then be left to decide. And if he goes on about it, repeat each time, 'I gave you a choice'.

victory

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tom9980

victory wrote: »

Written down here, on paper or talked about say in a social circle everyone is like :eek: can this be true? It is and how has this come about? I would have knocked his head off by now, I would have made his room bare, made sure he had nothing and don't think for a second all that and more I think, oh by christ I do

The difference is when i say something i follow through, you dont. I have read a fair few of your threads and dont understand why you continue doing what you do.....or should that be continue doing NOTHING.

victory

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Caroline_a

victory wrote: »

He is never a miserable spoilt brat around their house, as previously said they love him, loads and do loads for him.

I know in the future there will be masses of xmas without him so makes me ask why have one now at such a tender age?

I so want xmas like the tv I suppose, bigger fool me

I meant Miserable Spoilt Brat in your house, not in the gf's. However, I agree with so many of the other posters here, you are pandering to his whims, and teaching him that if he kicks off like this, he makes you feel guilty and dreadful, so he is taking his frustrations out on you when he is perfectly capable of behaving well.

Unless you put a stop to this endless behaviour I do fear for the women in his future relationships though.