My family can't find where they put their own heads most days.

Spendless

ailuro2 wrote: »

Give them all a pigeon hole / basket by the front door / back door. Add a day by day calendar or notepad for each of them.

Every time they say they need something give them in and make them write it down on the notepad and put the thing in the basket.

If they forget to take it then, then they don't have an excuse - by giving them a place to put things and a place to check as they leave with a written reminder of what they need, you're heloing them get into the habit of putting things in the same place each time. they can keep keys in the basket too, but beware if it's in view of the front door - don't want anyone fishing the keys through the letterbox

Make a point of clearing the out of date stuff out of the baskets every Saturday morning to stop them getting clogged full of junk.

Both kids have a planner from their schools to write daily school stuff in, DD's was the one she forgot to take yesterday-so she didn't get her 50th merit point. I have just had a nosey in her school bag and see she's written down everything she needs for next week on some A4 paper -presumably cos she didn't have her planner, so later she will be told to search for it and transfer across the info. She didn't have her PE kit this week, as PE days had changed and she hadn't told me/written it down.

A couple of days ago I asked DH about the 3 briefcases that are cluttering up the hallway. as I could make use of the space for organisational purposes. He didn't even know what was in 1 of them but has said he can move them to.

Later this morning both kids are being told to tidy bedrooms and an inspection will take place later -and I will throw stuff out and make them re-do it if I discover they have just shoved stuff under their beds and anything downstairs that is theirs they can either move to it's place or put in a bin bag.

gratefulforhelp_2

msb excellent post on page 1, you nailed it.

OP I sympathise, DH is even more annoying, he says "have WE seen my car keys?".

onlyroz

Husbands cannot be changed. Love them or leave them.

Kids - you've got an opportunity up until around the age of 15 to train them to be organised. If you do it all for them then they'll be in big trouble when entering the "real world" at 18 (whether that's university or a job). I've met plenty of extremely bright people who have been looked after by mummy for far too long, and can't find their ar*e with their elbow - and so getting college reports in on time is an impossibility...

gallygirl

This week my OH:
- couldn't find the lead to the computer, which was sitting on the sofa next to the computer
- couldn't find soup in the (ordinary sized) fridge
- couldn't find socks which were where I had told him, sitting on the side

He has just in the last few weeks attached the house key to his car keys. Priot to that he rang the door bell. Would go back to car to get the house key if no-one was in. Would then put the key down (normally in the same place) and forget to pick it up again so would end up locked out - this was 'proof' of what happened when he had to carry a key with him. Em, no, it's proof of what happens when you don't have your house key on your car keys .

OP what age are your children? What would happen if you left the house at the time you need to without them? If they are old enough to be left on their own that is what I would do. If they missed the school bus, so be it. I would not write them a letter to school explaining it other than 'xxx was not at school as he missed the bus due to his incompetence'.

Then again, I was tough with my kids from an early age. When they started to take too long to get ready I got wound up then decided to sort them out. Told them in the morning we were leaving the hosue at 8.30. At 8.30 I ushered them out of the house still with their PJ's on & put them in the car to take them to school. Cue hysterics all the way to school. Quick detour to quiet car park so they could put on the uniform I'd stuck in the boot earlier. Never had a problem again :cool:.

I would not do any running round sorting letters etc for them. If they miss things so be it. I would dump everything they leave on their beds - even muddy shoes - and refuse (and mean it) to wash the bed clothes. For OH, assuming you don't want to sleep surrounded by yogurt pots I'd have a large plastic box. Everything he left around would go in there. A few sessions of washing car keys which had 'accidentally' dropped in the yogurt pot would sort him out :rotfl:.

Now, how I can I sort myself out? Who is going to sort out my letters & trip money for me, and remind me my car needs an MOT

aliasojo

I just wanted to say....:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sorry.

My daughter came out of school on Friday with no jacket. A jacket for crying out loud! You would think the weather would give her a clue that she was missing something!

I drove her back to school but the place was locked up by then. She had better lay her hands on it on Monday otherwise her bank account will be £35 lighter! (It was a brand new jacket with school emblem etc.)

So I empathise Spendless and will be reading the replies with interest. We also suffer from most of what you've written.

zcrat41

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

After 40 years of marriage, my husband still can never find his keys, wallet or phone when we go out. They all end up in my bag, just so one of us knows where they are.

Some people NEVER seem to get organised, even after years of 'training'.

I don't know the answer to the OP, but do sympathise!

I only got married this year. We had a weekend away a few weeks ago. We were really looking forwards to that first drink in the hotel bar on the Friday night....lo and behold "I've forgotten my wallet". I was not impressed.

I think I might start implementing some of these things although I don't have kids - just an OH. Whenever I ask him to do a job I seem to have to do it with him as he's incapable of doing a chore by himself. I had to show him how to dust the other day and today, he wants me to help him cut down a tree. He's perfectly capable of doing it himself and I'm having to show him this.

Mojisola

Spendless wrote: »

I don't see how I am enabling their behaviour when they are forgetting everything of their own accord, I'm asking how to stop them doing this. I gave DS the money for his trip HE didn't pay it in. How exactly is that my fault?

Of course it's not your fault that your son didn't pay the money in or forgot to put on his tie but did he live with the consequences or did you put things right for him?

How many detentions would your son have to have before he remembered to put on a tie? If he lost the money for the trip, why didn't you ask him to repay you from his savings? Why didn't he miss the school trip?

If you run yourself ragged sorting them out, they'll never learn.

victory

jojo is absolutely right, once they get totally fed up with their 'stuff' being picked up and put in the bin/outside on the drive-way/in a box they do not know where it is they get shouty, fed up, annoyed and irritated even more so if they 'need it' for the last few seconds they have left themselves to find it before they need to get off to school, it sends them crazy and the more it happens the more they remember to pick up after themselves....

You say about not buying yogs anymore this is a bit extreme but I had a batch of baking days and bought hundreds and thousands, well, they were all over the house, the tiniest coloured balls all over the place, I refused to ever see another ball on the stairs/laminated floor/carpet/ in the creases of their clothes and never bought another pot.

The same I did with crisps for a very long time until they understood that no bin deposit of empty wrapper meant no crisps:D

Honestly start chucking their stuff around and they will soon do as their told;)

seven-day-weekend

zcrat41 wrote: »

I only got married this year. We had a weekend away a few weeks ago. We were really looking forwards to that first drink in the hotel bar on the Friday night....lo and behold "I've forgotten my wallet". I was not impressed.

I think I might start implementing some of these things although I don't have kids - just an OH. Whenever I ask him to do a job I seem to have to do it with him as he's incapable of doing a chore by himself. I had to show him how to dust the other day and today, he wants me to help him cut down a tree. He's perfectly capable of doing it himself and I'm having to show him this.

Ah. My husband is better than me at doing chores. He just can't remember where he has put anything, so that's my job!

mountainofdebt

gallygirl wrote: »

. A few sessions of washing car keys which had 'accidentally' dropped in the yogurt pot would sort him out :rotfl:.

Did this once to my car keys - was ok until it cost me £100+ to get a replacement set when they no longer activated the central locking.

In the last 2 months, since he has began working, Junior has got himself up in the mornings (even when he's had hideously early shifts), learnt that he needs to renew his season ticket and that making sandwiches the night before is alot less stressful and cheaper than trying to make them in the morning or buying them - and now I'm sat here wondering why I felt the need to mother him for so long!