My family can't find where they put their own heads most days.

Spendless

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

You'd have my sympathy but i'm just as bad. I'd forget my balls if they weren't in a bag.

I wouldn't mind a man's perspective on this though. Your posts usually make me chuckle and I did miss them whilst you were taking a break.

scheming_gypsy

you mean i've got to go back and read past the first paragraph?

msb5262

Hello again OP,

I forgot to add a couple of things - first, fluorescent post-it notes.
Get the children a pack each in a colourway they like, get yourself a pack and USE THEM...if the kids really need to remember something, they can put a post-it on the thing in question (e.g. homework book, handily located on breakfast table), or on the inside of the front door if it's something which can't be left out overnight).


If your DH is easily able to walk past his key hook, relocate the key hook to a place he'll automatically go e.g. near the coat hooks, the kettle or the fridge, or keep a bowl for keys in the room where the TV is...or more cunningly, get him something BIG to go on his keys, like one of those cork spheres which are sold for use on boats. Then he might be more ready to hang the wretched things up, or at least find them more easily!


Also, you need to get a large cardboard box.


Each evening, you walk round the house and pick up all the things which have been left in the wrong place.

Do it quickly, then dump the box in the garage/shed/conservatory/car/bin.

Do this every evening for a week....you might need a new box for each evening unless you can just tip everything out...but the house will start to look quite tidy and the children will start wondering where their things have gone.

It takes a remarkably short time for children to learn to pick their things up rather than have to disentangle them from the mess!


As for your OH, try asking him EVERY DAY about his working hours over the next two weeks. Reiterate each time that it's really helpful for you to have the information on the calendar. Hopefully he will get the message before long!


Best of luck...

MsB

Gloomendoom

msb5262 wrote: »

Hello again OP,

I forgot to add a couple of things - first, fluorescent post-it notes.
Get the children a pack each in a colourway they like, get yourself a pack and USE THEM...if the kids really need to remember something, they can put a post-it on the thing in question (e.g. homework book, handily located on breakfast table), or on the inside of the front door if it's something which can't be left out overnight).
If your DH is easily able to walk past his key hook, relocate the key hook in a place he'll automatically go to e.g. near the coat hooks, the kettle or the fridge, or keep a bowl for keys in the room where the TV is...or more cunningly, get him something BIG to go on his keys, like one of those cork spheres which are sold for use on boats. Then he might be more ready to hang the wretched things up, or at least find them more easily!
Also, you need to get a large cardboard box.
Each evening, you walk round the house and pick up all the things which have been left in the wrong place.
Do it quickly, then dump the box in the garage/shed/conservatory/car/bin.
Do this every evening for a week....you might need a new box for each evening unless you can just tip everything out...but the house will start to look quite tidy and the children will start wondering where their things have gone.
It takes a remarkably short time for children to learn to pick their things up rather than have to disentangle them from the mess!
As for your OH, try asking him EVERY DAY about his working hours over the next two weeks. Reiterate each time that it's really helpful for you to have the information on the calendar. Hopefully he will get the message before long!
Best of luck...
MsB

Ha ha!

I always wondered what drives otherwise mild mannered men to murder their spouses.

Spendless

msb5262 wrote: »

Hello again OP,

I forgot to add a couple of things - first, fluorescent post-it notes.
Get the children a pack each in a colourway they like, get yourself a pack and USE THEM...if the kids really need to remember something, they can put a post-it on the thing in question (e.g. homework book, handily located on breakfast table), or on the inside of the front door if it's something which can't be left out overnight).
If your DH is easily able to walk past his key hook, relocate the key hook in a place he'll automatically go to e.g. near the coat hooks, the kettle or the fridge, or keep a bowl for keys in the room where the TV is...or more cunningly, get him something BIG to go on his keys, like one of those cork spheres which are sold for use on boats. Then he might be more ready to hang the wretched things up, or at least find them more easily!
Also, you need to get a large cardboard box.
Each evening, you walk round the house and pick up all the things which have been left in the wrong place.
Do it quickly, then dump the box in the garage/shed/conservatory/car/bin.
Do this every evening for a week....you might need a new box for each evening unless you can just tip everything out...but the house will start to look quite tidy and the children will start wondering where their things have gone.
It takes a remarkably short time for children to learn to pick their things up rather than have to disentangle them from the mess!
As for your OH, try asking him EVERY DAY about his working hours over the next two weeks. Reiterate each time that it's really helpful for you to have the information on the calendar. Hopefully he will get the message before long!
Best of luck...
MsB

I like the key-ring idea. I bought him one last year that said 'where's my b***** keys' hoping he'd get the messsage. Big chuncky one it is, Luckily the shops are full of this sort of stuff at min. He has a drawer in the hallway that I dump stuff he leaves, eg screwdrivers. He has had it years. He has sorted it out ONCE! I have done the hiding of shoes and throwing them to the back of the cupboard but he goes on the 'I am bang out of order' moan cos he wouldn't do that to me. I am also going to go with your suggestion about the calendar and his work-load.

P>S The empty yogurt pot is on the floor between the 2 sofas with the spoon still in it whilst he lies watching tv.

scheming_gypsy

Spendless wrote: »

I wouldn't mind a man's perspective on this though. Your posts usually make me chuckle and I did miss them whilst you were taking a break.

To be honest though, i really am just as bad as your lot.
The other week i was lying on the sofa ready to go to bed, I looked at my trainers for ages wondering why I'd brought two pairs downstairs. Five minutes later it dawned on me that there were two odd trainers and not two pairs, and i'd been to the shop wearing them.

I took odd shoes to a wedding and ended up wearing trainers with a suit.

This morning I woke up, hit snooze on the alarm clock, got back in bed and wondered how long it was till I had to get up only to find that it was time to get up (hence the alarm going off)

I saw somebody in Morrisons that i recognised but couldn't remember who it was... it was my Dad.

Before I go to bed my last words are usually "awwwwwwwww f^ck" when i remember i've not done x, y or z

So unfortunately..... I'm no use when it comes to people being forgetful because I'm a complete clown myself.

Mojisola

CH27 wrote: »

You are enabling their behaviour.
Leave them to get detentions etc. They will soon learn.

Spendless wrote: »

I was waiting for the post that told me it was my fault. You win the prize, well done.

msb5262 wrote: »

Now the hard part...you have to leave them to it.
If they have been reminded once about things, don't keep reminding them - let them get into trouble or miss out.
That is the only way they'll really learn and remember to make sure they are better organised next time! The same goes for your OH - he'll be mortified if he lets them down by being disorganised but you're right: you can't do the thinking for all of you, nor should you.

Spendless - msb was first. And msb and CH27 are right. If you don't like their answers, you'll still be thinking for all the family in twenty years time.

Alibat

When my two were in the last few years of primary school I started taking a bit of a step back to make them think for themselves. It didn't take them long to learn to organise themselves which paid dividends for me (and them) when they went to secondary school.

If they had thought that I would step in and come to the rescue so to speak it would not have worked. So even when I was aware they had forgotten something as long as it wasn't something hugely important I wouldn't say anything. It felt really mean at the time but it worked a treat.

BTW I wouldn't expect someone to get up from watching TV just to clear away a yoghurt pot. If they didn't do it when they'd finished with the TV I'd be miffed but I'd feel like I was being really picky if I expected them to get up from being all comfy and relaxed just for that.

Spendless

Mojisola wrote: »

Spendless - msb was first. And msb and CH27 are right. If you don't like their answers, you'll still be thinking for all the family in twenty years time.

msb gave some good suggestions for the family members to be organised. I don't see how I am enabling their behaviour when they are forgetting everything of their own accord, I'm asking how to stop them doing this. I gave DS the money for his trip HE didn't pay it in. How exactly is that my fault?

There is a key-hook 90% of the time I use it, 90% of the time, Mr S DOESN'T use it. Why is that my fault? If I was taking charge of everything very little would be missing or forgotten but I can't do that. I said in my very 1st post I cannot think for 4 people.

I don't like answers telling me it's all my fault. Something I find very common and unhelpful on this board and it's usually the reason why I don't post personal stuff. On this occassion I'm fed up with it, because it is affecting me. I am usually the last out of the house with the kids and it's me coping with the 'where's my???' when what I'd like to do is put on my coat and set off for work with not a thought in my head.I posted as I needed a wider audience reply and I've had some fab responses. CH27 did take my post in good spirit.

nearlyrich

I agree about the yoghurt pot I would be annoyed if DH went to bed and left it on the floor but he probably wouldn't as he is more tidy than me LOL... another thing I learned from having kids was pick your battles, if you moan about everything they give up trying because they think you will always find something to moan about.