My family can't find where they put their own heads most days.

KxMx

Spendless wrote: »

I am usually the last out of the house with the kids and it's me coping with the 'where's my???' when what I'd like to do is put on my coat and set off for work with not a thought in my head.

You are the one coping with it since they all know fine well you will run round and sort out their mess/missing property/ forgotten this/that. They need to learn otherwise It will take time and alot of bitten lips on your part but it can be done!

You need to be firm that they suffer the consequences ie miss out on something, or you will wait 2 mins while they go back and look for missing item etc.

Spendless

Alibat wrote: »

BTW I wouldn't expect someone to get up from watching TV just to clear away a yoghurt pot. If they didn't do it when they'd finished with the TV I'd be miffed but I'd feel like I was being really picky if I expected them to get up from being all comfy and relaxed just for that.

We have sky plus so he can freeze the screen or re-wind. He wouldn't need to miss anything and he ahd finished watching the programme. The reason why I'm cross is I feel it's part of a bigger 'issue' eg it's ok to leave yoghurt pots about, ditto shoes, and bags and coats and homework, and not turn lights off and not shut doors and so on, so it's not just yoghurt pots left, but dirty socks and french homework and dinner tickets, all left lying around so when someone needs something it can't be found cos it's not where it should go. He has moved it now but I spoke to him and he insisted he'd move it before he went to bed, but I said I couldn't see any reasonable reason why he couldn't move it now- he wasn;t watching anything and he'd left it there and the bin is where it belongs not the living room carpet.

victory

Training rather than going on works here, the shoes have a specific place, the look tells them that is the place and if they do not put it there they will be thrown out onto the drive-way, coats hang up in the hall wall on very large hooks, can't miss them, keys, get a talking key fob as you have done, in this house we call people who leave things behind snails...

I say 'snail' and for some unknown reason (prob the amount of times I have said it and drummed into them) they automatically start frantically looking for yog pots, cups, plates, dishes, the colouring they have left out, the books whatever it is and pick it up and put it where it needs to be...

Snails leave trails and I will not allow it, big things, talks at schools, to see the teacher, dentist etc goes on the calender in a red cross and underneath what time, it goes on immediately....

A quick check on the school website lets me know what to bring, when, how much it will cost etc, they also have school form diaries that have to be weekly filled out and a full 6 weeks in advance school lesson plan which is in the kitchen on the board so all can see...

Lights well I posted about lights on my thread not so long ago, have not got that one sorted yet.....

My kids used to come in and dump it all so that the next person coming in could not even open the door to get past the shoes, that has all stopped when they did not appreciate their shoes being out on the drive:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

It is difficult to get them to get up and automatically take with them whatever it is they have used, it takes time and practice, punishment and lots of OMG not this again but it can be done:D

victory

Spendless wrote: »

We have sky plus so he can freeze the screen or re-wind. He wouldn't need to miss anything and he ahd finished watching the programme. The reason why I'm cross is I feel it's part of a bigger 'issue' eg it's ok to leave yoghurt pots about, ditto shoes, and bags and coats and homework, and not turn lights off and not shut doors and so on, so it's not just yoghurt pots left, but dirty socks and french homework and dinner tickets, all left lying around so when someone needs something it can't be found cos it's not where it should go. He has moved it now but I spoke to him and he insisted he'd move it before he went to bed, but I said I couldn't see any reasonable reason why he couldn't move it now- he wasn;t watching anything and he'd left it there and the bin is where it belongs not the living room carpet.

I truly get what you are saying, I really do but the yog pot for eg you see it as he can move it without being disturbed, he hears something completely different and heels get dug in, he gets resentful and fed up, you get fed up, he thinks oh for crying out loud it is a yog pot, you think OMG not this again, men are from mars and women are from venus, I also tried one week of doing absolutely nothing, it nearly sent me crazy but it is easier to throw stuff in the bin that they have left lying around needed or not (they soon get the idea that if it is left on the floor they obviously did not need it so in the bin it goes) the worry of that makes them pick it up as they do not want their latest book/comic/game console/ipod charger/mobile phone/homework/ newspaper etc to go in the bin...

Spendless

victory-where do you get talking key fobs from? The one I bought DH just has written words on it? DH has just said he doesn't know why I want him to hang keys up cos I refuse to help him look - which I wasn't aware I had been refusing. But the reason I want him to hang them up is cos it just makes the house run more efficiently.

I do answer to the lot of them 'it's where you left it and it's with where you left your head (cos it wasn't screwed on- which is why the thread title is such). It was reading your responses over the electrical items which gave me the idea to get the kids back to move/shut/switch off their stuff.

barbiedoll

I've had this problem to varying degrees over the years and I've found that the only way to get anyone to do anything is to have a massive tantrum at least once a year. Not a whinge, sulk, moan or nagging session but a proper, full-on screaming tantrum, preferably including one or all of the following phrases.....

"I'm sick of living in a pighole, if you lot don't start pulling your weight, I'm packing my bags and leaving you all to live in your own filth"

"I'm not anyone's bloody dogsbody, pick up your own mess"

"If you want to live tramps, you can all b***er off and live under the bridge because I've had enough"

"I'm going on strike, you can all cook and clear-up for yourselves. Leave your homework, lose your keys, leave the lights on, go out and leave the door open so that we get murdered in our beds at night, I simply don't care. I hate my life, I hate this house and I hate you lot"

Repeat at increasing volume until they give in and do what you want. It won't last for long and they (and you) will soon creep back into the old habits, hence the need for this to become an annual event. Believe me, it's the only thing that I've tried that ever works! :mad:

victory

We got ours from the gadget website Iwantoneofthose I think it is called, google and you will find loads of gadgety gimmicky websites especially now at this time of year that is the kind of thing people buy for stocking fillers etc.
The keys have to be in a specific place, immediately upon house entrance hung up, not left in pockets (change trousers and it is always the same 'where are my keys? What trousers was I wearing? Have you washed them? Are my keys in the washing machine?)

The kids have the neck things with the key on the end no chance of loosing them and they hang them up as soon as they get back in (no, not expecting your OH to wear one:rotfl:) lanyard that is it.

As soon as they electrical items they desperately need move and go in the bin or go in the box upstairs (the one I know of and htey don't) it sends them frantic and they plead and beg to have them back, they get fed up with the hunt and now they give up and move it as they go because they know it will not be where they left it in the morning:D

Spendless

victory wrote: »

I truly get what you are saying, I really do but the yog pot for eg you see it as he can move it without being disturbed, he hears something completely different and heels get dug in, he gets resentful and fed up, you get fed up, he thinks oh for crying out loud it is a yog pot, you think OMG not this again, men are from mars and women are from venus, I also tried one week of doing absolutely nothing, it nearly sent me crazy but it is easier to throw stuff in the bin that they have left lying around needed or not (they soon get the idea that if it is left on the floor they obviously did not need it so in the bin it goes) the worry of that makes them pick it up as they do not want their latest book/comic/game console/ipod charger/mobile phone/homework/ newspaper etc to go in the bin...

You are right because this is practically the 'discussion' we have just had - when he moved the yoghurt pot at the end! We have discussed getting straight this weekend. It would be so much better if things were put away,we'd get our weekends back from tidying for a start!!

victory

In this house we do sunday jobs, a perfect time for all of us to go into our seperate rooms, areas that need tidying and cleaning and sort it, no one sits until it is done, they all hate it, they all dread it, they all moan but they all do it because after they can have the tele on or do whatever it is they want to do, it lasts as long as it is needed for the house to have everything in its place, a proper tidy up and it has been like that since the kids were little and they know, they know to dust and tidy and get their school stuff ready for the monday morning, they know to shine their shoes if needs be or get homework done, to sort out whatever is needed and then they will be left alone...

scheming_gypsy

I think you might need to stop buying yoghurt.

Like Bob Marley once sad "No yoghurt no cry"