My family can't find where they put their own heads most days.

msb5262

Mojisola wrote: »

Spendless - msb was first. And msb and CH27 are right. If you don't like their answers, you'll still be thinking for all the family in twenty years time.

Mojisola - you might think I was saying it was the OP's fault - but if you re-read, I suggested the OP should get systems put in place which would help/encourage/force her family to organise themselves!

When everything is set up, there is no excuse...that was my thinking.

msb5262

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Ha ha!

I always wondered what drives otherwise mild mannered men to murder their spouses.

If you look at some of my other posts, you will soon spot that I'm divorced! :rotfl:

Spendless

msb5262 wrote: »

Mojisola - you might think I was saying it was the OP's fault - but if you re-read, I suggested the OP should get systems put in place which would help/encourage/force her family to organise themselves! When everything is set up, there is no excuse...that was my thinking.

Yes and that's how I read it. Some of the things are already partly in place or we already have. eg Victory mentioned shoes going in one place, we have an in-built shoe cupboard in the hallway, using part of the cupboard under the stairs, it is one of the quirks of the house I fell in love with when we viewed it, so where are the family shoes? Well, mine are in said cupboard the majority of the time, the others well they are partly in the cupboard or they might be by the computer desk, in the bathroom, in their bedrooms and so on. The bull-dog clips you suggested will be going up this weekend too.:)

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

I think you might need to stop buying yoghurt.

Like Bob Marley once sad "No yoghurt no cry"

Actually you have a point. Next week when I shop IF empty yoghurt pots haven't been thrown away I'm not buying anymore and when they ask where they were they shall be told. I thought you said you were no use on this thread?

scheming_gypsy

i wasn't until i remembered that i don't buy yoghurt because i forget to eat it

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

My DD is improving from the original position of


Lean on the doorbell until I open it for her
Come in
Drop Bag in front of door
Drop blazer in front of radiator
Drop 3 exercise books, the mobile, 4 homework sheets and the keys she couldn't be bothered to get out of her pocket on the sofa on top of the sleeping cat
Off to bathroom through kitchen, dropping a crisp packet, three Wethers Originals wrappers and leaving a half empty can of Coke on the table
Back through, kicking off socks, one in kitchen, one in front room
Collapses on other sofa and switches on TV, and opens the food she harvested from the fridge as she walked by, dumping school tie down side of chair and shirt on the floor.




The reason this has changed?

Everything got picked up and scooped into a box and upended on her bed.
Nothing was washed.
Nothing was ever in the place she dumped it the following morning, so she couldn't find a single thing and had to get up earlier and earlier to find things.



Oh, and at the same time, I informed her that her homework was her problem and I would not be reminding her to do any of it (but was available for assistance at any time in excess of 12 hours before it was due in), nor would I be held responsible for the loss, relocation or accidental disposal of anything that did not belong downstairs.


It worked.


The key thing didn't work until, having told her not to forget her keys, her father brought her back 3 hours early from a weekend with him & his OH. I was 15 miles away at the time and it took 35 minutes of standing in the pouring rain for me to get back by train, bus and walk. Had I not already been on my way back at the time, it would have been much, much longer. When her father phoned to demand to know where I was, I said 'Told her - and you - she needed to take her keys' and hung up.


It works in the end. I am sure my ears should be deep and crispy for all the names I've been called behind my back, but IT WORKS.


(Oh, and when she left her bus pass on the bus a couple of weeks ago, I showed on Google Streetview where the bus garage was and left it to her to get it back). She won't be doing that again, as she had to walk there.

neverdespairgirl

Be careful of the talking key rings if you have a dog.

My Dad got some, and we had to get rid quickly. Our border collie's bark set it off, and it made her bark more, and then the damn thing beeped more, etc. So it drove us all up the wall sharpish (-:

seven-day-weekend

After 40 years of marriage, my husband still can never find his keys, wallet or phone when we go out. They all end up in my bag, just so one of us knows where they are.

Some people NEVER seem to get organised, even after years of 'training'.

I don't know the answer to the OP, but do sympathise!

Savvy_Sue

msb5262 wrote: »

Try to get into the habit of asking the kids every day if they have any letters from school, then get them to put the letters in their own bulldog clip.

:rotfl: I used to do this. Every single day, on the way home from school when they were in primary, as soon as they came through the door when they were in secondary. No, no letters. I'd ask again over tea, and still no letters. So I'd search their bags and blazers on a weekly basis, and find the letters I should have had earlier in the week. I'd find the forms I'd filled in and sent back, sometimes I'd even find the cheques for DT, not handed in.

The only things they managed to get out of their bags and into my hands were the things they cared about. They didn't care about parents evening / school newsletters / costs of DT. And eventually I realised that even if I filled in a form and they didn't give it in, the school never chased me for it. So I gave up too!

barbiedoll wrote: »

I've had this problem to varying degrees over the years and I've found that the only way to get anyone to do anything is to have a massive tantrum at least once a year.

<snip>

It won't last for long and they (and you) will soon creep back into the old habits, hence the need for this to become an annual event. Believe me, it's the only thing that I've tried that ever works! :mad:

:rotfl: I like your style, and I used to have to do that too. I vividly remember sounding off at the top of my voice at DS3, not long after DS1 had come home from his first Uni term. DS1 came calmly downstairs and said "Hello to you too. Not a lot has changed."

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Be careful of the talking key rings if you have a dog.

My Dad got some, and we had to get rid quickly. Our border collie's bark set it off, and it made her bark more, and then the damn thing beeped more, etc. So it drove us all up the wall sharpish (-:

Yes, we found they didn't work if you clapped or called for them, but they'd go off if you laughed. Bit of a waste of space.

But the large keyfob could do it.

tealady

Hi. I can symphasise with the untidyness, thats why I now live alone!
Re the lights have you thought about putting one in that has a movement sensor, they have them in some businesses, especially in places like toilets where the room might be unoccupied for a while. I don't know how energy efficent they are.

ailuro2

Give them all a pigeon hole / basket by the front door / back door. Add a day by day calendar or notepad for each of them.

Every time they say they need something give them in and make them write it down on the notepad and put the thing in the basket.

If they forget to take it then, then they don't have an excuse - by giving them a place to put things and a place to check as they leave with a written reminder of what they need, you're heloing them get into the habit of putting things in the same place each time. they can keep keys in the basket too, but beware if it's in view of the front door - don't want anyone fishing the keys through the letterbox

Make a point of clearing the out of date stuff out of the baskets every Saturday morning to stop them getting clogged full of junk.