What age to get rid of teddies/comfort blanket?

victory

My son is 11 1/2 had a secondary new school friend round to play on xbox, same age, all good or so I thought......

Friend leaves and son managed to keep the sobbing inside him until he had gone....

In sons bedroom he has 15/20 teddies at the foot of his bunk bed, he doesn't play with them just likes them being there, all different sizes, shapes, colours, ones from birth, car boot sales, charity shops, some knitted for him by family, he loves them and he has a single full size (not cut off piece) blue blanket that he likes to use as a cape, comfort blanket, to keep warm, as a pillow/cushion.

Anyway new friend ridiculed his blanket and teddies with the 'how old are you? why have you got those? I haven't got any of those why have you?' type questions and made him feel real bad.

We have had this a few times before with other kids not quite understanding why son would have teddies/blue blanket and making comments.

OH has got all macho about it.... 'I am not having my son this upset, get rid of them, phase them out, take his blanket off him, he is being a laughing stock'

I have gone all defensive and said no let him be he has not done anything wrong, not harming anyone, so very gently spoke to son...he wants to keep the teddies, not phase them out and loves his blue blanket too much to give it up.

So what can I do for the next friend, empty out his room temporarily just so it does not happen again but then put them all back?

Is 11 1/2 too old for teddies/comfort blankets?

ailuro2

I'd get rid of some of the teddies permanently - but put them up in thel oft for a few onths first.

Next time someone comes for a sleepover hide most of the teddies.

Yes, he is old enough now not to be relying on a comfort blankie

Plans_all_plans

Your poor son!

If I were you I'd talk to your son and see if he still likes them there. Tell him it doesn't matter about his age and not to listen to his friends if he still wants them there!

Build his confidence up and don't just cave in to getting rid of them if your son would be happy for them to stay there if it wasn't for the comments.

What harm can it do to leave them there? They won't be there when he's 14 and if he still wants them for a while yet, I don;t see the problem.

NAR

Put the teddies on top of the wardrobe. He can still see them/know they are there but visitors will not think he is still attached to them.

skylight

They are his possessions so you can't take them away. Could you get him a lidded box just to chuck the bears in when friends come over? You may find that they will end up staying in the box anyway over time.

I'm 37 and have a couple of my childhood bears sat on my dressing table and have always had them in my room. I have never given much care to others opinions on the matter (but then I am rather hard-nosed!)

Tiddlywinks

I've still got my teddies and use a blanket in front of the TV.

How about offering the chance to redecorate his room and then have a shelf or cupboard for all the things he wants to keep "from when he was lttle"? That sends the message that he is moving on to growing up, without making him give them up straight away. It will also still gives him easy access if he feels the need and somewhere to hide them when friends come over.

19lottie82

Kids develop and mature at different rates. I'm not saying there is anythign wrong with it, but on the flip side, I can also see why his peers might take the mickey.

Plans_all_plans

Why hide them? Your son's his own person and if he likes them then he needs to toughen up to defend his decision to still have them to his mates along the lines of "well I don't really care what you think."

Ames

I'm still angry about when dad decided we were 'too old' for our teddies and threw them all out. I'd love to have some of the ones I remember from being a kid, instead of the one sister managed to hide for me.

So please don't just chuck them out!

Is there room under his bed for a box to keep them in? He can get one out if he wants and then put it away so his friends don't know about them. As for the blanket, then why not just keep it on the bed as a blanket when they're around?

rachbc

Ultimately its up to your son not your or his dad - if he wants to keep them then its fine. He may however decide not to keep this 'friend'.

My son has a couple of toys next to/ on his bed and he's 13!

Alikay

I'd just put the teddies in a basket, box or one of those collapsible laundry bin things and drape the folded the blanket across the end of the bed like a throw. 11 or 12 isn't too old for teddies IMO, but it might be too old for a boy to go public with it, especially around the type of mates who'd enjoy ridiculing him.