What age to get rid of teddies/comfort blanket?

Swan_2

I'm with the camp who say let him keep his precious things but perhaps put them out of sight when his visitors come round

I think it is more difficult for boys unfortunately, neither of my two have kept any comfort things, I wonder if that was due to external social pressures? :think: but on the other hand my 26 year-old daughter still has the faded & tattered remains of a flower-patterned quilt

many years ago it travelled to Florida in our hand luggage for fear of lost baggage & although nowadays it resides in a drawer, she says 'flowery' is the one thing she'd rescue if the house went on fire

purple.sarah

milliebear00001 wrote: »

It is a good idea to reinforce the idea that good friends don't talk to each other that way, but bullying? Really? I think there's a big difference between bullying and kids teasing each other. This sort of thing happens all the time between young boys and so the OP's OH has a definite point. While the OP's son has a perfect right to still be enjoying his cuddlies, it is also a fact that some boys his age will find that strange and tease him about it.

OP needs to find a realistic way forward, and I would agree that phasing the cuddlies out gradually, and discreetly removing them when friends are over, is a good way of achieving this.

Ridiculing him and reducing him to tears because he behaves differently? Yes I would consider that bullying behaviour. I certainly wouldn't consider it the behaviour of a "good friend". I think dismissing it as just teasing or boys being boys can lead to it persisting.

Spendless

A few special things I can understand keeping, but if I'd asked my 8yo DD before getting rid of things she's outgrown we'd still be hoarding dummies, rattles, every Mcdonalds toy she's ever owned including all broken bits and so on. I don't think I'm unusual amongst my friends in getting rid whilst child is out of way.

milliebear00001

purple.sarah wrote: »

Ridiculing him and reducing him to tears because he behaves differently? Yes I would consider that bullying behaviour. I certainly wouldn't consider it the behaviour of a "good friend". I think dismissing it as just teasing or boys being boys can lead to it persisting.

Bullying indicates a persistent singling out of a child by another or others - this incident is very far from that. Yes, the OP's son was upset by it, but equally, another child may simply have shrugged it off. By labelling every incidence of teasing as 'bullying', we risk devaluing that label. Real bullying is extremely serious and should not be confused with the rather ordinary, run-of-the-mill unpleasantnesses of young children.

minimoneysaver

The best thing you can do is give him a 'cool' room with all of his gadgets etc? His friends won't notice the things that are important to him. My daughter still has to wear pull ups at night. They go into my bedroom when she has friends over. Out of sight is easier.

JBD

I agree, I would just put them in a safe place when friends come. My son still has a 'blanky' [and he's older than your son], now very grey and falling apart, he just keeps it in the top of his wardrobe and takes it out once a day. He knows it's there for if he ever gets really upset but no one else needs to know.

ceebeeby

MRSTITTLEMOUSE wrote: »

Would you like someone to come into your house and remove most of your possessions because thats what this amounts too.
Children have the right to their own stuff and discard it at their own rate.
Some kids get very upset having things that are very important taken away from them and you can't always tell because some don't show it outright.
It can cause problems in other ways later on.

Lol - that's daft ... or neglectful - surely the parents are there to guide kids in whats right or wrong and to do that in the best way. And to let them be the butt of jokes isn't fair imho. I think you're advising much more harm than good.

So its ok to leave a kid with a dummy until they want to give it up. Or in nappies until they're ready, or asking for their beer to be put into their babies bottle cos they don't want to let go of that comfort drinking vessel.

I don't know many guys that don't have one or maybe two leftover teds or comfort items ... that's cool. I don't know many girls who don't still have teddies in their rooms ... but I don't know how many 11/12 years old boys have a heap of them on the end of their bed.

And the message of going to hide them when someone comes round, suggests its a bit like a 'dirty secret' .... today the teddies, tomorrow the !!!!!! mags

purple.sarah

milliebear00001 wrote: »

Bullying indicates a persistent singling out of a child by another or others - this incident is very far from that. Yes, the OP's son was upset by it, but equally, another child may simply have shrugged it off. By labelling every incidence of teasing as 'bullying', we risk devaluing that label. Real bullying is extremely serious and should not be confused with the rather ordinary, run-of-the-mill unpleasantnesses of young children.

The OP's child was singled out and if he's simply told to "shrug it off" it could persist. As I said, I think dismissing it as just teasing allows it to persist.

jojo_2012_2

Awww I just want to give your lovely son a big cuddle I don't think 11 is too old at all.

Can't force him to move them, he might feel embarrassed enough about this incident to move them himself. He's probably a bit heartbroken I can remember feeling very attached to my cuddly toys sometimes.

webitha

my 12yr old thing 1, is a big lad, plays rugby, is a guitarist isn a mini rock band and is a firewalker and does fire sticks and fire poi
he also does mauy thai twice a week

he also has 3 teddies on his bed, one we dont even know where is came from, the second came from his girlfriend and the third was knitted for him when he was born, which is a bit tatty
only once has he been teased about it, the gf one they understood and they quickly shut up when he told them that the tatty one was knitted for him to go in his coffin as he was seriously ill when born and they didnt hold out much hope that he would make it.

he doesnt care who know, and they certainly dont tease him about it, espesh as he took it into school when he first started high school and kept it in his bag for comfort, some 3rd years tried to but he soonbrought them down a peg or two.

so dont worry about it he will be fine