Preferred child (as adults)

victory

mildred1978 wrote: »

That's not a contradiction. There are lots of places I wouldn't choose to go to myself. Doesn't mean I couldn't enjoy it if I found myself there.

True, sweeter if someone else has paid for you:D;)

mildred1978

victory wrote: »

So is life in general:D are you now going to pick on a disabled person?

What are you replying to? This makes no sense!

victory wrote: »

It seems to me you come across as the others have stated because you must somewhere have a notion that you cannot justify your feelings towards this issue.

Thanks for your opinion. I'll file it under 'B' for bin.

victory

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Person_one

This thread is really quite depressing.

There are a set of two siblings in my extended family, and one is blatantly the clear favourite, treated entirely differently from birth. I hate to think that the other sibling's whole life might be so blighted by this.

Its all well and good saying people can do what they want with their own money, but decent loving parents want to treat their children the same, they want them all to feel equally loved and valued. Money is just one indicator, if parents continually spent more time with one sibling, phoned them more often, talked about them all the time, always gave them the biggest slice of cake or whatever then the feelings would be essentially the same.

mildred1978

victory wrote: »

If you open a thread and then attack, disagree, do not want peoples views, come across as other people say spoilt, narrow minded, unobjective then close it, go on taking off your mum and let your sister take more, don't ask any questions, don't solve it and just appreciate what you have.

I asked for views, have answered questions, have tried to explain what and why I am upset. As many posters understood where I was coming from as didn't. Some couldn't see through the ££££s and decided I must be spoilt. I expected a broad range of views, and many have been helpful. Others have read things that aren't there, and been rather rude.

victory wrote: »

I know as many other posters would a large amount of people in their life that would sell the jewellery you and your sister have just to put food on the table for their children and make the mortgage payments in this recession hit world we live in.

But you're not jealous, huh?

sparrer

mildred1978 wrote: »

So you're a grandparent, but you only take one grandchild on holiday because other grandparents take the other 2? Why use "of their own" when you are their grandparent as well?

Totally irrelevant to your thread but in short the grandparents of the 2 older grandchildren are not the grandparents of the younger grandchild.

mildred1978

sparrer wrote: »

Totally irrelevant to your thread but in short the grandparents of the 2 older grandchildren are not the grandparents of the younger grandchild.

Oh right. So it's okay for them to differentiate then, and you just pick up the pieces.

I'm glad your youngest granddaughter gets something too.

Any

Agree person one...
This is really depressing thread. And I just cannot see how it is so difficult to see that the OP is upset by the different treatment, not the amount of money spent.
Some people see money mentioned and immediately write everything said off. Just because someone has money and has been given gifts doesn't mean they haven't got feelings and should keep their mouth shut for the fear of being called "greedy and ungrateful".
This thread is depressing by the amount of judgement lashed here.

OP - I understand why you are miffed and I probably would be too. I think it is very difficult for parents and they often don't see the consequences of their actions.
It is quite usual that the far away children seem to be more loved, and possibly are. They are not there day in day out and the visits are short and pleasant, no one ever contradicts the other person or disagrees with them and basically doesn't deal with the every day complications normal life brings.

Also the more "needy" children can be seen as more loved because of the attention and consideration they get, and I think that is because mother needs to feel needed, it makes her feel good.

I am affraid that is life. You cannot change it. Either put up with it or ask your mother outright.

sparrer

mildred1978 wrote: »

Oh right. So it's okay for them to differentiate then, and you just pick up the pieces.

I'm glad your youngest granddaughter gets something too.

You are misunderstanding - if not deliberately you are acting obtuse. I pity you, you sound a very unhappy person. I hope you find your answers, you've had plenty of sensible advice here. Like others I believe the best thing you could do is discuss your concerns re unfairness with your parents.

Fact is, money can cause more unhappiness than it brings.

Soubrette

Person_one wrote: »

This thread is really quite depressing.

There are a set of two siblings in my extended family, and one is blatantly the clear favourite, treated entirely differently from birth. I hate to think that the other sibling's whole life might be so blighted by this.

Its all well and good saying people can do what they want with their own money, but decent loving parents want to treat their children the same, they want them all to feel equally loved and valued. Money is just one indicator, if parents continually spent more time with one sibling, phoned them more often, talked about them all the time, always gave them the biggest slice of cake or whatever then the feelings would be essentially the same.

I actually think that long term favouritism is one of the most damaging things you can do to a child without straying into abuse. At the very least it is extremely poor parenting.

For some people, they overcome it and come out the other side stronger people, but for most, I think it affects them negatively the whole of their lives.