Preferred child (as adults)

Plans_all_plans

Your sister is trying to make you jealous and it's working. Ignore her comments. I think she's probably jealous of you to be honest.

lostinrates

mildred1978 wrote: »

We aren't very close but we get on okay.

I wonder if something could be going on that you don't know about..emotionally, medically perhaps. Diamonds don't fix things, but they can cheer one up when something that can't be fixed happens.

hcb42

lostinrates wrote: »

I wonder if something could be going on that you don't know about..emotionally, medically perhaps. Diamonds don't fix things, but they can cheer one up when something that can't be fixed happens.

I also thought that too, my parents did a similar thing, for that reason, although we were nearer the poverty line than the £30K gifts, and as the rest of us (3) all have good salaries, never gave it much thought tbh.

I am jealous of the OP though. Jealous they have two parents, as mine both died within a short space of time when I was not much older, and they both died much earlier than "the norm" I guess. Still, at least we cannot have any family arguments about gift buying, not that we ever did.


Incidentally, I dont know how your sister is being charged an admin fee for changing her policy unless your parents take the crown jewels away with them every weekend. THat's a new one on me.

emsywoo123

mildred1978 wrote: »

My sister texted me complaining that every time mum and dad visit her it costs her £25 admin charge to add things to her house insurance, plus an increased premium.

Ha ha charming :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

sparrer

ColleenPamela wrote: »

In post #99 she (sorry if you're a he sparrer!) states that she'd never dream of treating her children differently, which in essence, should tell you that to a certain extent your feelings are justified.

However, your implied attitude when replying to people may be what is putting them off; if I was the OP of this thread I'd be quite interested in the totally mixed bag of replies..

She's a she . I replied to the OP as I felt what she was saying was justified. However my posts were seen as fuel for her fire so I've stopped responding as it would only be playing right into her spoiled hands. The expressions 'dummy out of pram' and 'scream and scream and make myself sick' come to mind. And I have far more pressing things to deal with, like MY much better off sister having her home attacked by moronic rioters. I don't give a damn about her bank account, her life is far, far more important to me.

Puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

mildred1978

hcb42 wrote: »

Incidentally, I dont know how your sister is being charged an admin fee for changing her policy unless your parents take the crown jewels away with them every weekend. THat's a new one on me.

Eh? They give her a £5k ring. She adds it to her insurance policy (personal possessions need to be named). They increase the premium and add a £25 admin charge for changing the policy. As the ring has been given to my sister, it's her who has to insure it.

At least, that's what she told me.

mildred1978

sparrer wrote: »

She's a she . I replied to the OP as I felt what she was saying was justified. However my posts were seen as fuel for her fire so I've stopped responding as it would only be playing right into her spoiled hands. The expressions 'dummy out of pram' and 'scream and scream and make myself sick' come to mind.

I'm sorry that I misread your post. Your first para wasn't exactly complimentary:

sparrer wrote: »

My thoughts exactly, I've neve come across such an petulant, argumentative, judgemental and self-contradictory adult so it's either a wind up, or I've been extremely lucky in not having met this type before.

sparrer wrote: »

And I have far more pressing things to deal with, like MY much better off sister having her home attacked by moronic rioters. I don't give a damn about her bank account, her life is far, far more important to me.

Puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

Not really. My sister works for the Metropolitan Police.

mumps

It happens in families. In my family it was my younger brother, I suppose after two girls a late, surprise boy was exciting, and he always got more than us. In part it was because there was more money around, in part I think it was linked to my father being very ill for several years and then dying while my brother was still quite small. It went on after dad died, including him being given a collection of gold coins that had been my fathers, I think he got that when he was 21. It has never bothered me or my sister except for one thing, he was given my fathers medals from WWII. He hardly remembers dad, I used to go to Remembrance Day with him and polish his medals before we went. It hurt me so much as they would have meant far more to me than they do to him, he said one day when he had moved house that he didn't know where they were, I could have cried. I comfort myself with the thught that I knew and loved my dad and he missed that.

OP forget it, do your parents love you, spend time with you and your family? That is worth so much more.

Nimeth

Just finished reading through the thread and OP, I empathise with you, I really do. My OH's younger sister is the golden child of the family, can do no wrong and absolutely everything else that isn't to do with her often gets swept aside in favour of her wants and needs, even the youngest sister who is severely disabled gets put aside to accommodate her. It's infuriating. The biggest incident involved his parents essentially throwing me and OH out of the house and saying 'we're downsizing, find a friend to stay with, get a flat of your own in two weeks or live on the street, sorry.' OH's sister moved out when she felt like it, looked at one flat, whined about it so her parents bought her a flat, let it out to her and she took advantage of it by not paying them the rent that they set and they just let her get on with it. OH tells me that he had to earn and buy anything he really wanted or needed, she just had to scream at the top of her lungs for what she wanted and it was given to her. She still does it and as I can't stand that sort of attitude, we don't always get on.

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Your sister is trying to make you jealous and it's working. Ignore her comments. I think she's probably jealous of you to be honest.

I think Plans has hit the nail on the head. She wants to make you jealous, provoke a reaction and you are giving it to her. I learned the long, hard way that it's best just to let it go, you'll be more content for it. I know it's easier said than done, it took a massive blow up for me to do it. I married OH two years ago, I thought I'd patch things up with my SiL by asking her to be a bridesmaid. She got jealous of the attention I was getting and managed to get herself knocked up. It had the effect she wanted, my OH's parents ignored everything to do with their sons wedding and fussed and talked non-stop about the baby. My SiL was due two weeks before my wedding and still expected to come abroad for it. She got a shock when I told her point blank 'No way, my mother does not have time to be making arrangements for a two-week old when she's trying to plan a wedding.' She didn't come and now we ignore each other equally and I'm happier for it. I just don't get involved anymore, it's not going to change and I feel better about myself by getting on with my own things.

Like Plans said, she is probably jealous of you, that you've worked for and earned everything you've got. A sense of entitlement by being given things all the time is very different from a sense of accomplishment from working hard for something.

Lotus-eater

My Inlaws are pretty well off tbh, both their kids are doing alright for themselves, (one of them with me ) and my MIL has discussed a few times with me that she tries to treat us fairly and give us the same amount.
I tell her the same thing every time, we're all doing OK, you go out and enjoy the money, it's yours, you earn't it, so spend it. I also tell her, that our family personally are doing fine and have no need at all for big gifts thankyou. I think they've finally got the message as they've just helped my OH's sibling with a large amount of money to buy something.

Which is fine by us and we both wish them well. Do you know why? Because we aren't in the slightest bit jealous of anyone, we don't care about money the same way as the OP.

My own family has always given more to my younger siblings, I don't care about that either, because I'm a grown up now and realise all people are different. So what? They get a bit more money sometimes, get visited more often and helped more, it's not that important to me, but it does make us laugh between my OH and me sometimes.

Bitterness will only take you into bad places, like being a spoilt b i t c h, or like her sister, who is also a spoilt little princess and like sparrer says The expressions 'dummy out of pram' and 'scream and scream and make myself sick' come to mind.

edit
And do you know what, I think it is because I/we need less help than my siblings, I've always been more independent, standing on my/our own feet, not going for loans, not needing presents to know I'm/we're loved, having enough self belief in ourselves to not need propping up.