Preferred child (as adults)

Pee

mildred1978 wrote: »

I was a civil servant who had my pay frozen for 5 years. I've just taken redundancy from a £40k per year job. Do you think I pay less for electricity/food/gas/petrol than anyone else?

If people don't earn much they get tax credits and other handouts. We've always earned too much to get anything, and now just get CB. We've paid our own way through life without handouts. We are net contributors to the economy several times over.

I budget to pay my mortgage, bills and to buy food. I'm not out pushing a gold plated trolley and eating caviar every night!

I won't apologise for being financially comfortable. There was more than 20 years each of blood sweat and tears to get to where we are.

There are a lot of people, myself very much included, who wouldn't moan too much about having our wages frozen at £40k for five years...

fudgecat

Interesting thread.

Several points intrigue me:

1 Exactly how the OP knows the precise value of each gift - disclosed by sister, parent, interested third party, etc?
2 Sister, who has six luxury holidays a year, tan, clothes, jewellery had nontheless has a "rough year" before the expensive car present. One wonders at the nature of the roughness? Could this be emotional?
3 The character painted by the OP of the sister does not seems to accord with the type found in the Met Police - even at admin level.
4 OP likes a forensic style of repartee - very civil servant-like in pedantry and precision. I wonder if the OP is feeling rather underemployed intellectually having given up a well paid job? Time on hands can lead to obsessing.

And of course, yes, parents can regard their children with unequal affection and therefore unequal material and emotional gifts. History is littered with it - and the consequences.

mildred1978

Pee wrote: »

There are a lot of people, myself very much included, who wouldn't moan too much about having our wages frozen at £40k for five years...

Why? It's no different to having pay frozen at £20k or £30k.

mildred1978

fudgecat wrote: »

Interesting thread.

Several points intrigue me:

1 Exactly how the OP knows the precise value of each gift - disclosed by sister, parent, interested third party, etc?consequences.

None of the things involved are that hard to value and in some cases (eg flat deposit) I was told directly.

fudgecat wrote: »

2 Sister, who has six luxury holidays a year, tan, clothes, jewellery had nontheless has a "rough year" before the expensive car present. One wonders at the nature of the roughness? Could this be emotional?consequences.

Not that I know of. How emotional do things have to get to warrant a £30k present?

fudgecat wrote: »

3. The character painted by the OP of the sister does not seems to accord with the type found in the Met Police - even at admin level.consequences.

Know many of the 50k+ employees do you? She's not admin level, she's rather high ranking

fudgecat wrote: »

4 OP likes a forensic style of repartee - very civil servant-like in pedantry and precision. I wonder if the OP is feeling rather underemployed intellectually having given up a well paid job? Time on hands can lead to obsessing.consequences.

I have a 1 year old son and my husband works away. What is this "time on hands" you speak of? :rotfl:

fudgecat wrote: »

And of course, yes, parents can regard their children with unequal affection and therefore unequal material and emotional gifts. History is littered with it - and the consequences.

catkins

I have two siblings and we are all treated equally by our parents. I know they spend exactly the same on us for birthdays and Christmas and always have done. Even if one sibling's present cost 50p more they would buy the other two a bar of chocolate or something to make the presents up to the same amount. I do this too for my neices and nephews.

To me that is the normal thing for parents to do. Children should be treated equally.

My OH's parents on the other hand alway spent far more on his sister than they did on him. One year he got a jumper and she got a really good expensive stereo. I thought that was disgusting.

She has always been treated differently. She was adopted and he was always being told when he was young that she was "chosen" by them. She can do no wrong in their eyes whereas they were always telling OH how useless he was. His mum even said on our wedding day that "it would not last", or her precise words "I'll give it a year if your lucky". Nice woman not.

His sister has a 5 bed, 2 garage house even though there is only her and her husband. We have a 3 bed and it is always rammed down our throats how wonderful her house is, she has gold taps, marble worktops etc etc. Yet they asked why we needed 3 bedrooms when there is only the two of us!!! We could not care less if she lived in Buckingham Palace. We have not seen or spoken to her for over 15 years

Person_one

mildred1978 wrote: »

Why? It's no different to having pay frozen at £20k or £30k.

Yes it is, its 20K and 10K more respectively. Its pretty silly to pretend that makes no difference.

victory

Haven't we given up on this one yet?

mildred1978

Person_one wrote: »

Yes it is, its 20K and 10K more respectively. Its pretty silly to pretend that makes no difference.

Are you under the impression that huge earners spend the same as lower earners?

mildred1978

victory wrote: »

Haven't we given up on this one yet?

Feel free to unsubscribe. No-one's holding a gun to your head (unfortunately).

Torry_Quine

mildred1978 wrote: »

Are you under the impression that huge earners spend the same as lower earners?

No doubt high earners do spend more but also have more scope to economise.