Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Pollycat

hankypanky wrote: »

u gonna try for a baby???

EDIT: what sort of happy ending are u after??

A baby?

A BABY?

Where on earth have you got that idea from?

Who mentioned having a baby?

brokenlily

Both people here are responsible for their actions.

People usually cheat because there is something they're not happy with in their current relationship, so in the first place, he wouldn't have done anything with the OP if that wasn't the case.

But there's a difference between someone who's unhappy in a relationship, because it's loveless or abusive, or someone who's just plain bored. Long term relationships are hard work, and there are patches you go through where it's not all wine and roses. The nitty gritty of living together and sharing domestic life has little glamour, whereas an affair can seem exciting, forbidden, illicit.

So is he genuinely unhappy with his wife, or is he just bored? That's the question. Because I have known situations where people in unhappy situations have met the right person and that's been the catalyst for them to leave, and they are now in happier situations (I am one of them) However, where this is the case, they usually make steps towards leaving their unhappy situation quite quickly. I was in a relationship where I really was unhappy for a number of reasons, and I think ultimately I would have left anyway, but meeting the man I am now with made me realise that if I wanted happiness, I needed to get away from where I was and pursue something different. I didn't physically cheat on my ex, but emotionally I knew my heart was wandering in a different direction, and one that would make me happier, and it has.

If, on the other hand, he's just bored, then he will probably carry on the affair for a period of time until he becomes bored with that also, when it becomes routine, and he may look around for another flirtation. Or, he will leave his wife, strike up a more permanent relationship with you, and then one day you may be in the wife's shoes. If he's someone who has a strong need for intensity and excitement in his life, then that's a warning sign, and you'd be better to cut your losses.

Joolee

my "now" partner left his wife at the end of aug this yr. he is now living in a flat even though i have been waiting 18 months for this and hoped he would come straight to me. in some ways life is better and in others its very difficult. im still hoping all the pain will be worth it in the end though. no one can tell you if he will leave or not its only you who truly knows. what makes you think he will/wont? has he said he will?

Bogof_Babe

Joolee wrote: »

my "now" partner left his wife at the end of aug this yr. he is now living in a flat even though i have been waiting 18 months for this and hoped he would come straight to me. in some ways life is better and in others its very difficult. im still hoping all the pain will be worth it in the end though. no one can tell you if he will leave or not its only you who truly knows. what makes you think he will/wont? has he said he will?

Do you know why your partner hasn't discussed moving in with you yet? Has he told his wife why he left her?

victory

Ficticious as a TV show is there is Peter and Carla and Leanne now in the same position, affair is an affair, now he battles with guilt what to do xmas day, how to be in two places at once, his nerves will go, they will get found out,Carla will loose the court case, the little boy will loose his step mum ,Leanne will feel as if she has wasted x amount of time on the relationship that has had problems all the way through but she has stayed to deal with them and never gave up (sure she could be blamed because she had a liason with Nick) and on the saga goes, as false as it is just on a TV screen it transfers to people's lives, real life but as you watch it you see no winners, only loosers .

Lotus-eater

It's going to be lonely this Christmas without you (to hold)

HomeMum_2

brokenlily wrote: »

If, on the other hand, he's just bored, then he will probably carry on the affair for a period of time until he becomes bored with that also, when it becomes routine, and he may look around for another flirtation. Or, he will leave his wife, strike up a more permanent relationship with you, and then one day you may be in the wife's shoes. If he's someone who has a strong need for intensity and excitement in his life, then that's a warning sign, and you'd be better to cut your losses.

Mmm. Just to add my little bit - the above poster is spot on, sadly.:(
I WAS the other woman many moons ago, unhappily married with my first husband who left, i eventually met my now husband who very quickly left his wife and moved in with myself and my kiddies. We had seven years of blissful happiness, until this year boredom appeared to have kicked in and due to his need for intensity and excitment as mentioned above, he began an affair with someone else. We are ok now, i mean clearly ups and downs, but on the whole, ok. BUT it has been hard, - the lesson i learnt from this?
Leopards sadly do not change their spots, however much they try to convince you otherwise.

xxxxhelpxxxx

My husband's affair is still going on. I am divorcing him because he was lying to me about contacting her and wanting to be with her (saying he wanted neither but doing both). His OW was a bit of fun until she got pregnant. Even while she is pregnant she was fun because her other child went to stay with his father a couple of nights a week and they can go out.. Not quite sure how much fun she will be when she has a screaming baby and cannot "get rid" of him for a couple of nights a week to go out with him.

I really don't care because I am getting shot of him asap.

victory

Not a great place to be in for anyone

northerner77

Happy New Year to everybody who has genuinely tried to make constructive comments on this thread! All the best to PTN, hope it all has a happy ending for her in 2012!