Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

mountainofdebt

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Victory your signature is spot on for PTN's current situation.

Not quite - both the actions of PTN and her 'good' man has or will have consequences for his wife and possibly their children.

As I said before I don't think that PTN ever wanted the affair to end - and her running back to him proves this.

essexgirly

PTN I personally don't think he is taking you for a fool. You are both adults, and both have choices. You know the extent of your relationship with him and I dare say the feelings run pretty deep.

Who honestly knows what the future holds for anybody. Maybe PTN did not want the affair to end, but I doubt she is "just running back to him" for the sake of it. There are always more sides to a story, yes we have just heard yours. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors, and yes, it would be better to end a relationship before starting a new one. But this has all been said before, it is history, only you can hope for the future. Everybody can put their opinion on here with "what if''s" and "this should happen" and "i'd do". Well, we are not in your shoes, you have asked for opinions and boy have you received them, and may I say, every opinion whether good or bad has been received gracefully.

I for one, wish you well, I'm not angry, disappointed or anything, just pleased you have the grace to come back and be totally honest about yourself. That in itself, shows a very good quality in a person.

Keep posting and merry christmas xx

Bubby

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Victory your signature is spot on for PTN's current situation.

I just hope for your sake PTN that you don't find yourself in a slanging match in a public place when his wife finally finds out, because the OW in my situation must have felt deep humiliation, unless she had the hide of a rhino. (She had the gob of a slapper, but that's by the by.)

To this day I can't get a straight answer when I ask OH what he thought would happen when I found out. No doubt your bloke hasn't considered that possibility either, or has decided to cross that bridge if or when he comes to it.

I fear you are simply putting off the inevitable. No progress and no resolution. I wish you would realise what a fool he is taking you for.

Oh I think back to those days when I totally humiliated the OW in front of all of her colleagues:D:D;)

Catty212

Just my little opinion / experience.

I had an affair a few years ago. I was single. He wasn't. We worked together. He was 13 years older than me. It started as a bit of fun / excitement. We were 'seeing each other' for about two months (spending a lot of time together), when one night as he left mine, he told me he couldn't do it anymore, which I took to mean, it was finished. Two hours later he rang me telling me he'd told her it was over, three days later their house was on the market. Two days after that, he moved in with me. I was happy, but had never really considered a relationship with him, and looking back probably didn't want one. We'd never talked about it. We moved abroad to live together and it went down hill from there, and I came back to England 6 months later (my choice).

I guess I'm just trying to say, make sure you really do want to be with him, and don't just like the idea of it as leaving 'the other woman' may not be what you really do want.

victory

Crumbs he took a lot for granted then if you had not discussed it

justmel

PTN it was your choice to begin this affair,it has now been your choice not to end it and i completely agree with your own admission that you didn't want it to end.

You do not need this man,no one physically needs someone in the romantic sense,we love,want and desire which feels like a need,it feels like an inability to end it but in reality you have every ability and i don't think it is about 'not being ready',you have accepted things as they are with no change and the relationship carries on because it is something you want..unless he ends it then it will carry on for as long as you have that want.

I really have no idea why anyone would choose to be in your situation and certainly not for this amount of time and i do still feel so sorry for his wife who is probably completely oblivious to the fact that her husband is making a complete joke of their marriage but with that said i do wish you well and hope that you will look back in years to come and be sure you have no regrets x

Catty212

victory wrote: »

Crumbs he took a lot for granted then if you had not discussed it

I thought it was fab at the time. Looking back ... quite scary :rotfl:

victory

Catty212 wrote: »

I thought it was fab at the time. Looking back ... quite scary :rotfl:

The speed he acted it all out on yes very:rotfl:

victory

justmel wrote: »

I really have no idea why anyone would choose to be in your situation x

I don't think PTN chose to be in this situation, it happened to her to them I don't think she went out looking for it, choosing it.

justmel

victory wrote: »

I don't think PTN chose to be in this situation, it happened to her to them I don't think she went out looking for it, choosing it.

I see it as a choice,she opted in at the start of the affair,she didn't walk away when the boundaries of friendship were crossed and moreover she chooses to remain in the affair,to me that is a choice that she made and continues to make for whatever reasons she feels are important to her.

I would agree that she didn't go out looking for it,she met him,it developed,she chose not to walk away from it,that is what i mean by choice..not that she sought purposely to get into a relationship with a married man,i'm quite sure she wishes he had been single.

As i previously mentioned in this thread i had an opportunity to respond to some very intense flirting during the summer,now how i been single i would have been happy to but as it is i am married so i chose to distance myself,if i had responded it may have lead to something,a kiss,a one night stand,i may have fallen in love given time but it was nowhere near that when i made the choice to back right off.

I honestly don't think PTN went out looking for a married man but i do think she did have and still does have a choice in the matter.