Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Soubrette

princessdreamer wrote: »

Statistics still next question, most people do not change they simply stabilise for a while. a drug addict or alcoholic never recover they are always addicted.

Have you ever lied? Unless you are on the autism spectrum I would guess the answer is yes.

If you have lied (although we always tell ourselves that we are lying for the right reasons) does that mean that in every situation you are capable of lying and so should not be trusted?

Have you ever left a relationship? Should you be condemned to no relationship because you are obviously not committed or trustworthy enough to tough out the bad times and try and rediscover the love you obviously once felt for that person?

It's nice and easy (and comforting) to think that there are good people and bad people in this world, unfortunately each person is a mixture of both characteristics.

We are all capable of lying, we are all capable of leaving relationships for less than honourable reasons including but not exclusively infidelity. Personally I would be more understanding if a person left someone due to an affair than if they left someone because that someone had just been diagnosed with cancer.

It is just as plausible that Nicky's husband found the whole having an affair so traumatic that he never wants to go through that again as it is to assume that he'd done it once so he must now always be likely to take the same route in the future. We are human, we can actually learn from our mistakes.

I suppose as a nod to the original OP - can an affair have a happy ending - the chances are infinitesimal that all three people involved with have a happy ending, so I would say no.

I do not approve of affairs but I recognise that we all make mistakes.

nickyhutch

princessdreamer wrote: »

Nope you view it as an attack maybe through your insecurities about your relationship. All I have said is he is more likely to cheat than someone who has not cheated before.

No, what you actually said was that pigs would fly if he was faithful, which would be, I think, generally accepted by most as "he will cheat".

*sigh* I have no insecurities about my relationship. How on earth could you know that? If someone repeatedly says they're happy, does that automatically mean they're not?

I've said before that I've seen your other posts, so do get why you think like you do, but you have to stop projecting your bad experiences onto others' circumstances. All men are not cheating b******s, not all men who have cheated will cheat again, and not all women who've had relationships with attached men are scheming wh***s.

shellsuit

princessdreamer wrote: »

All rules have exceptions, nicky is too vocal about how perfect her relationship is, if it was that perfect she would not feel the need to keep saying it was.

:rotfl::rotfl:

That's because we're on a thread about relationships and people like you keep bashing Nicky, so she's just defending herself!

nickyhutch

Soubrette wrote: »

Have you ever lied? Unless you are on the autism spectrum I would guess the answer is yes.

If you have lied (although we always tell ourselves that we are lying for the right reasons) does that mean that in every situation you are capable of lying and so should not be trusted?

Have you ever left a relationship? Should you be condemned to no relationship because you are obviously not committed or trustworthy enough to tough out the bad times and try and rediscover the love you obviously once felt for that person?

It's nice and easy (and comforting) to think that there are good people and bad people in this world, unfortunately each person is a mixture of both characteristics.

We are all capable of lying, we are all capable of leaving relationships for less than honourable reasons including but not exclusively infidelity. Personally I would be more understanding if a person left someone due to an affair than if they left someone because that someone had just been diagnosed with cancer.

It is just as plausible that Nicky's husband found the whole having an affair so traumatic that he never wants to go through that again as it is to assume that he'd done it once so he must now always be likely to take the same route in the future. We are human, we can actually learn from our mistakes.

I suppose as a nod to the original OP - can an affair have a happy ending - the chances are infinitesimal that all three people involved with have a happy ending, so I would say no.

I do not approve of affairs but I recognise that we all make mistakes.

That's a really good post. That highlighted bit - I hadn't though of it like that. I'll ask him when he gets back from picking his kids up.

From my point of view, did I find it so traumatic that I wouldn't do it again? I think yes, I'm too old to put myself through that again, and wiser now. Maybe more sympathetic to the wife. Definitely not if he had kids!

I wonder if it would be harder to be a mistress if you knew the wife? For me, definitely. There was certainly something of the "out of sight, out of mind" mentality going on with me. Not nice, I know.

princessdreamer

She is also making up crap about my viewpoint on men yet I am happy enough with my own positive outlook to not feel the need to point out repeatedly that I know nice men and am happy to move forward in another relationship.
Nor do I think all mistresses are bleach blond size zero bimbos they are just women with little respect for themselves.

victory

nickyhutch wrote: »

So he hadn't infected her with anything?

No she was lucky and grateful he had not, no

nickyhutch

princessdreamer wrote: »

She is also making up crap about my viewpoint on men yet I am happy enough with my own positive outlook to not feel the need to point out repeatedly that I know nice men and am happy to move forward in another relationship.
Nor do I think all mistresses are bleach blond size zero bimbos they are just women with little respect for themselves.

I'm not making up crap. I'm reading your posts and inferring what you think from them. That's what you post for, surely? To get your point across?

You say bleached blond and size zero as if there's something wrong with being bleached blond and size zero - why?

All mistresses are women with little respect for themselves? You know them all personally, do you, or are you just assuming that from statistics?

deb68_2

purpletoenails wrote: »

Yes I totally agree with this and always have done, that's what I would do, but not everyone is the same.

Then if you totally agree why are you having a relationship with a Married Man

nickyhutch

She totally agrees that if she were the married one, she would end her relationship before starting another, but accepts that other people (her MM for instance) don't do that.

Lotus-eater

nickyhutch wrote: »

She totally agrees that if she were the married one, she would end her relationship before starting another, but accepts that other people (her MM for instance) don't do that.

Yes, but that's a very odd stance, if you wouldn't do it, why put some other person through the same thing?

I think everyone has to accept that there are different sorts of infidelity.
There is the one night stand.
There is the unhappy relationship and doing nothing about it, till someone else comes along. (Nicky)
There is the unhappy, or not fulfilled relationship, which the person doesn't want to leave, yet wants something else to make them happy. (PTN's)

I'm sure others too.