Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

peachyprice

purpletoenails wrote: »

Well I've not been in the room, or even in the house.

You're right that there could be many reasons why they have separate rooms. I'm not sure how it would have any bearing on how I feel about him though? Why would telling me that make a difference to whether I had an affair with him or not?

It has a huge bearing because your entire justification for carrying on the affair is that he's not happy at home, he and his wife do not sleep together, lead practically separate lives and are just biding their time until the children are older and they can separate.

Your justification is blown to pieces if you take off the blinkers and accept that there is a possibility that he's spun you a line with the ultimate cliche and as far as his wife is concerned they're actually happily married, share an active sex life and enjoy each others company.

Are you woman enough to admit yet that you really don't know a thing about his home life because you only have the word of a man who has proven himself to be an accomplished liar time and time again? I doubt it.

victory

peachyprice wrote: »

Are you woman enough to admit yet that you really don't know a thing about his home life because you only have the word of a man who has proven himself to be an accomplished liar time and time again? I doubt it.

It's true, I AGREE:D

PTN you go along trying hard to justify it, then getting annoyed or irritated with us when you post something and we point it out to you, then say you are not as silly as we make out, I don't think you are silly, just dangerous game playing in love fool who cannot see straight or who does not want to admit that we are right and what we say with a clear head makes more sense than what you say with a heart pounding love for this man head:D

jayII

I've been following this thread, and have at times felt sympathy with PTN, but my main feeling has been incredulity at how cliche his behaviour is.

This man could be out of a textbook for philanderers. I wonder how many gullible 'ladies' he has had at the end of a string over the years, or has on the go now?

victory

Since time began as much woman as men mind, have exaggerated the truth for their benefit , be it to get more sex, to get more attention, for whatever reason there are a miilion and one man and woman out there that say their home life is rubbish and they sleep in seperate rooms and can't bear the sight of each other, in some instances obviously truth but dig deeper to most of them and they play a blinding game of happy families with on the tap sex, BBQ's with family and friends every weekend, go out to family do's together, have what anyone else would see looking in a happy, healthy, normal relationship/marriage and when the affair comeso ut everyone is flabbergasted that 'such a decent man' had it in them because 'they looked so happy'

Bubby

purpletoenails wrote: »

If they've been 'banging' them for a few years, they're hardly 'random' are they?

Not random but not decent women either

purpletoenails wrote: »

Or maybe it's because they have found in another person love, affection, attention, intimacy, fun, friendship or some other quality that their marriage is lacking?

Oh I did have a laugh at this one, the poor poor man in a marriage where he is not given everything he needs:(:(:( do you think you are his saving grace?

purpletoenails wrote: »

As I have said before, he is a very decent man apart from the fact he is having an affair. I'm not as silly as a lot of people on here think I am, he has some really wonderful qualities, which obviously are what made me fall for him in the first place.

He sounds very decent:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

deb68_2

purpletoenails wrote: »

catkins it is wonderful that your relationship is like this, and I'm sure everyone would aspire to be so happy together after so many years. Sadly not everyone is so lucky, people change, circumstances change and invariably not all marriages will survive.

PTN
your right not every realation ship is like that yes things do change things do happen but does that give ANYBODY the right to Hurt anyone else? No it doesnt.
but then were they even thinking of the pain/hurt they are doing while droppping thier pants,getting thier leg over

I doubt it as i doubt the person he/she is talking to having dinner with,dropping pants with getting leg over with,were either of them thinking of the pain there partners or kids would feel when it was all found out
did they care
obv not or thry wouldnt do it

princessdreamer

I'm sure my ex husband told the mistress he slept under a hedge in the garden does not make it true. They also came out with us not having sex for five years, mine and his daughter was still in nappies. nut jobs both of them.

nickyhutch

Wickedkitten wrote: »

Sympathetic maybe, empathetic certainly not. You had this happen to you, so where was the surfeit of empathy from the time you first started seeing your now husband until he left his ex and the two of you found out that she had been seeing someone else?

I'm sorry, I didn't realise you know me personally and better than I do myself. Just because I can be empathetic, doesn't mean I always am.

deb68_2

nickyhutch wrote: »

I've known for a long time that many young people are silly and/or annoying and/or disloyal to their partners. Do you think all young people are above all that? You're sadly misguided.

Hi
you hit a cord with the misguded bit,i was more than that when i was younger unfortunatly Looking back I wish i had been diff,stronger
but i was always told you never hurt or decieve people,an i do my best to live like that

Oh im not perfect far from it,
I hate people that are cruel to animals,kids, partners

,I hate LIERS by that i mean people that lie when having an affair or just a quickie,
I dont mean us that tell our kids about the tooth fairy or father christmas etc
I will never change my mind about those that lie and decieve thier other half an or thier kids

nickyhutch

I do my best, too, and sometimes I fail, big time. I'm nowhere near perfect but I do my best. It wont be good enough for everyone, but it's good enough for me.

Tehre is a lot worse in the world than infidelity.