Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

CH27

purpletoenails wrote: »

As I have said before, he is a very decent man apart from the fact he is having an affair. I'm not as silly as a lot of people on here think I am, he has some really wonderful qualities, which obviously are what made me fall for him in the first place.

But the deceit, betrayal & dishonesty outweigh any good.
As i've said before you only have his word about the state of his marriage & if he can lie & deceive his wife, he can & will do the same to you hun.

purpletoenails

Errata wrote: »

I hadn't realised you'd set up home in their bedroom wardrobe. 'We have separate bedrooms' is the second oldest and corniest trick in the book. The first one is 'We haven't had sex since 1952'.

I do know that they have separate bedrooms at home 100%. It doesn't matter how I know, I just do know. I'm not sure when they last had sex, but they have a 17 year old, so it will have been more recently than 1952.

CH27

purpletoenails wrote: »

I do know that they have separate bedrooms at home 100%. It doesn't matter how I know, I just do know. I'm not sure when they last had sex, but they have a 17 year old, so it will have been more recently than 1952.

Oh sweetie please stop deluding yourself.
You deserve so much better.

lostinrates

purpletoenails wrote: »

I do know that they have separate bedrooms at home 100%. It doesn't matter how I know, I just do know. I'm not sure when they last had sex, but they have a 17 year old, so it will have been more recently than 1952.

Actually, I think it does matter HOW you know. I can think of ways you might know for certain...but of course they would cross more lines and go well beyong an action HE inflicts on his wife but one you both do..which I know you seem to feel (I do not agree with you on that front)

edit: here, dh has clothes hanging in a wardrobe in another room...it could look like he lived there, its just because we have more clothes. And I also know a very in love couple who have separate rooms because one of them snores very loadly. They visit nocturnally but sleep alone.

Wickedkitten

nickyhutch wrote: »

High or not, a lot of people fall short of it.

I'm very (most say too) empathetic (have to be in my job, and it spills out into my personal life), and try very hard not to be selfish, but as I said, I fail sometimes. I also, sometimes, shock horror, think of myself first.

Sympathetic maybe, empathetic certainly not. You had this happen to you, so where was the surfeit of empathy from the time you first started seeing your now husband until he left his ex and the two of you found out that she had been seeing someone else?

purpletoenails

lostinrates wrote: »

Actually, I think it does matter HOW you know. I can think of ways you might know for certain...but of course they would cross more lines and go well beyong an action HE inflicts on his wife but one you both do..which I know you seem to feel (I do not agree with you on that front)

edit: here, dh has clothes hanging in a wardrobe in another room...it could look like he lived there, its just because we have more clothes. And I also know a very in love couple who have separate rooms because one of them snores very loadly. They visit nocturnally but sleep alone.

Well I've not been in the room, or even in the house.

You're right that there could be many reasons why they have separate rooms. I'm not sure how it would have any bearing on how I feel about him though? Why would telling me that make a difference to whether I had an affair with him or not?

gratefulforhelp_2

purpletoenails wrote: »

You're right that there could be many reasons why they have separate rooms. I'm not sure how it would have any bearing on how I feel about him though? Why would telling me that make a difference to whether I had an affair with him or not?

For many, the idea of sleeping with someone you think is also sleeping with someone else is unpalatable.

More chance of you and him ending up in bed if you believe he's not sleeping with his missus.

Errata

purpletoenails wrote: »

Well I've not been in the room, or even in the house.

You're right that there could be many reasons why they have separate rooms. I'm not sure how it would have any bearing on how I feel about him though? Why would telling me that make a difference to whether I had an affair with him or not?

Because blokes who tell women they don't share a bedroom with their wife know they've got a chance of copping a sympathy shag.

cheepskate_2

purpletoenails wrote: »

Well I've not been in the room, or even in the house.

You're right that there could be many reasons why they have separate rooms. I'm not sure how it would have any bearing on how I feel about him though? Why would telling me that make a difference to whether I had an affair with him or not?

Because if he told you that he was really happy with his sex life at home and only wanted a wee quickie now and then as a change of scenery.......would you still let him into your pants.

Really a no brainer why married men will churn this one out.

victory

PTN can't agree, you don't know, he has told you, yes but that does not make it true does it? He is capable of lying to his wife and kids and friends and family over you, he is capable of lying to you or at least 'distorting the truth to suit his needs':D