Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

nickyhutch

whitewing wrote: »

Well, I have yet to be persuaded by anyone that having sex with a married man is a noble and decent thing to do.

I'm not sure anyone on here would try to persuade you that it is.

POPPYOSCAR

scarlet55 wrote: »

as i said in my first post it started out that way for me as i wanted no tie's..then it became serious and it was too painfull so i ended it..how many affairs start out as serious...how many relationships at all start that way....not many..

There is a big difference between entering a relationship with someone who is 'free' and that of someone who is married or even in a long term committed relationship.

POPPYOSCAR

nickyhutch wrote: »

I'm not sure anyone on here would try to persuade you that it is.

No I don't think they are.

However, it does seem to me that some do not think it is wrong , or at least thats how it comes across to me.

gratefulforhelp_2

Lotus-eater wrote: »

The vicar probably nicked it for himself, you know what that lot are like :whistle:

Outrageous. How many of that lot have you "known":eek:

scarlet55 wrote: »

I had an affair with a married man some year's ago...i have to say it was lust at first sight..he had the most amazing eye's.......

I can see what attracted him to you. It was the wild abandon with which you use the apostrophe;)

skypie123 wrote: »

Do you really think Skypie cares what you adulterers feel 'deep down'?

While agreeing with some of your views, are you aware that you are referring to yourself in the third person?

nickyhutch

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

No I don't think they are.

However, it does seem to me that some do not think it is wrong , or at least thats how it comes across to me.

I think people are trying to say there are shades of grey. Some agree, some don't. And we're all saying it over and over again!

I think it is wrong, but there are sometimes reasons that these things happen, wrong or not. People do things that are wrong all the time. We try (or I do) to be the best I can, but I'm fallible, and can't live up to the hugely high standards expected by some where relationships are concerned. I'm sure I have equal or higher standards than some in different areas of my life, though.

POPPYOSCAR

nickyhutch wrote: »

I think people are trying to say there are shades of grey. Some agree, some don't. And we're all saying it over and over again!

I think it is wrong, but there are sometimes reasons that these things happen, wrong or not. People do things that are wrong all the time. We try (or I do) to be the best I can, but I'm fallible, and can't live up to the hugely high standards expected by some where relationships are concerned. I'm sure I have equal or higher standards than some in different areas of my life, though.

I agree with all this.

But there are no shades of grey for me when someone has an affair just because someone has amazing eyes and they want sex without ties.

nickyhutch

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Outrageous. How many of that lot have you "known":eek:



I can see what attracted him to you. It was the wild abandon with which you use the apostrophe



While agreeing with some of your views, are you aware that you are referring to yourself in the third person?

Whereas your OH fell for your wanton disregard of the full stop?

lostinrates

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

No I don't think they are.

.

Hang on...I think there are posts which try and say they are good at times.....

Some posts on this thread have suggested affairs save marriages, that they stop people developing mental illnesses, and even a suggestion they might have stopped someone topping themself. And no, I'm not ploughing through the thread to find examples.

We've also had the ''all love is precious and to be cherished as a preceious thing'' line.....which though sounds lovely isn't true in more cases than infidelity!

Wickedkitten

I wouldn't say that having empathy for other people and not being selfish to the point that other people get hurt is exactly a hugely high standard for relationships.

nickyhutch

Wickedkitten wrote: »

I wouldn't say that having empathy for other people and not being selfish to the point that other people get hurt is exactly a hugely high standard for relationships.

High or not, a lot of people fall short of it.

I'm very (most say too) empathetic (have to be in my job, and it spills out into my personal life), and try very hard not to be selfish, but as I said, I fail sometimes. I also, sometimes, shock horror, think of myself first.