Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

lostinrates

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

OH's trick is not to take those little stiffening things out of his shirts, and then they clog up the drain on the washing machine. Drives me mad!

Oh, my dad does that too. DH doesn't thank goodness.

nickyhutch

skypie123 wrote: »

Do you really think Skypie cares what you adulterers feel 'deep down'? No, but that wasn't my point.
I was speaking as to what a decent person with decent values who doesn't need to trample someone elses marriage or relationship to get a man, thinks. *sigh* I don't need to. I've had relationships with people who weren't married or attached. I don't care whether or not you think I'm "decent". I'm happy with me, people I love and care about are happy with me.
Why would you want a man like that anyway? Like what? You have no idea what he's like, other than that he cheated. There's a lot more to him than that. I'm not so daft as to judge a person by one act, good or bad.
You've seen his MO and eventually it will come round to your turn. It WILL, definitely? I'd love that crystal ball when you've finished with it.
I couldn't live like that like what, exactly? but if you choose to then that is your choice and we reap what we sow.

I might, I might not. It might or might not happen even if I'd met him "normally".

scarlet55

whitewing wrote: »

You OW are all so one dimensional, aren't you. Even when you're doing the right thing (ie not seeing him) it is because YOU can't bear the pain, not because he is still with his wife, still married and you have no place in their relationship.

if he wasn't still with his wife then maybe i would agree to see him again and THAT IS the reason i won't be contacting him..whenever some-one has an affair it's always the other womans fault...never the man who plays away from home..

whitewing

No, I think potentially events leading up to the affair are man and wife's fault, generally, although in some instances heavily weighted to the man.

The affair itself is the fault of the man and the mistress as both make decisions to carry out an affair.

scarlet55

whitewing wrote: »

No, I think potentially events leading up to the affair are man and wife's fault, generally, although in some instances heavily weighted to the man.

The affair itself is the fault of the man and the mistress as both make decisions to carry out an affair.

fair enough and yes i did end it because it was painfull for me...but i also knew in the long run it would all end in tear's...for everyone.

POPPYOSCAR

scarlet55 wrote: »

fair enough and yes i did end it because it was painfull for me...but i also knew in the long run it would all end in tear's...for everyone.

Then why did you start it up in the first place?

Surely you could have contained your 'lust'?(as stated in your earlier post).

scarlet55

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

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Then why did you start it up in the first place?

Surely you could have contained your 'lust'?(as stated in your earlier post).

as i said it was many years ago and i was naive enough to believe that no-one would get hurt....my god it must be lovely to be so saintly....

POPPYOSCAR

scarlet55 wrote: »

as i said it was many years ago and i was naive enough to believe that no-one would get hurt....my god it must be lovely to be so saintly....

It is not a question of being saintly at all. I do understand, as I have stated on here, how affairs can start. I can see that someone in a bad marriage might be looking for love/emotional support elsewhere, but you stated that it was ''lust at first sight'' and made it sound like your affair was just for a fling, so in my book that is different.

scarlet55

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

[/B]


It is not a question of being saintly at all. I do understand, as I have stated on here, how affairs can start. I can see that someone in a bad marriage might be looking for love/emotional support elsewhere, but you stated that it was ''lust at first sight'' and made it sound like your affair was just for a fling, so in my book that is different.

as i said in my first post it started out that way for me as i wanted no tie's..then it became serious and it was too painfull so i ended it..how many affairs start out as serious...how many relationships at all start that way....not many..

whitewing

Well, I have yet to be persuaded by anyone that having sex with a married man is a noble and decent thing to do.